And You Won’t Even Have to Leave the Couch

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Photo by Luke Ellis-Craven on Unsplash

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t spent the last two months of quarantining dawdling about, sucking up my days dreaming about where I can and should go when I’m free to travel again. Though quarantine will rage on, it seems, there does appear to be somewhat of a light at the end of the tunnel, albeit a very small light.

Even if my travel isn’t imminent, I can’t help but sit back and plan what I’m going to do and where I’m going to go. The second best thing to traveling is planning on traveling.

The instinct when planning is probably to jump on to Priceline and find a bundle that involves airfare, hotel, and attractions. But, you don’t necessarily have to, and if you dig around the internet, you can come up with some hidden gems. …

Why Our Lizard Brains Love to Hate

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Photo by Mollie Sivaram on Unsplash

Presently, I am about 60 days into a quarantine, give or take a few, and the only thing harder to come by these days than a roll of toilet paper is a piece of content I can consume that’s new, interesting, and I’m genuinely excited about. I would say the grand majority of people I know are in fact experiencing some sort of Netflix fatigue. There’s only so much I can watch and rewatch before having to turn to new garbage that I absolutely cannot stand, and yet absolutely cannot look away from. I have fallen into hate-watching.

Hate-watching isn’t exactly a new concept. How else would we explain Game of Thrones’ consistently high viewership numbers throughout the absolute dumpster fire of a final season? Hate-watching is the concept of purposefully viewing a show or movie that you know you’ll dislike to your core so that you can voice your disgust afterward, generally at length. But, why do we do this? Why put ourselves through the perpetual misery of consuming media or focusing on a public figure or specific fictional character we cannot stand? …

Our First Overseas Stop in Our Goonies Adventure

When we last parted ways, Chris, Amanda, and I boarded a red-eye to London on a quest to locate some long lost treasure. Chris was pounding on his keyboard, Amanda had slumped into a restful slumber, and I voluntarily went into a drug induced coma.

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The Mission

We had our several hundred year old map of Panama. Unfortunately, in the late 1600s, Google Maps had yet to hit the scene. So, we couldn’t punch “bURieD TreASure plZ” into the GPS and be sent on our merry way. …

And the More Peculiar Moment I had to Inform Them of This

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Photo by Matthew Bennett on Unsplash

“So what did you do today?”

“I read my book. It’s picking up, it was really slow going for a while there. Then I went to the grocery store, headed to Marshalls you know.”

“I really don’t think you should go to Marshalls.” I parroted my mother’s voice at her.

“Oh, it’s fine.”

“No. And you should buy a couple weeks of food at a time so you only have to go back once in a while.”

“Well, they’re only saying that for the elderly.”

“Mom.” They’re only saying that for the elderly? She is elderly. I mean not elderly elderly, but like elderly-esque? Definitely more on the elderly side of the spectrum, than the non-elderly side of the spectrum. I’ve thought the word ‘elderly’ too much. …

Or at Least the Ones You’ll Find in Coach

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Photo by Toby Christopher on Unsplash

I’m no stranger to the red eye. I know the characters who lurk on them; but this was never made so clear to me as when I boarded a plane from Boston to London last July. These were happier times, when we were all free to roam the earth, the average person I know bathed more frequently than bi-weekly, and everyone didn’t walk around with bandanas tied around their faces like Sandinistas.

My best friends (Chris and Amanda) and I were off to make one of our first stops in our search for pirate treasure. We had one 250 year old map that had been hastily scribbled out and the only place we could locate more precise maps of the same time was at the British Archives in Kew. …

Coincidentally, it Begins in Astoria, Oregon

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Astoria, Oregon

The Goonies was and is a magical movie. A group of kids on a crazy adventure to find One Eyed-Willy’s pirate treasure. As an eight-year old, I couldn’t get enough of it. As an only child, letting your head run around with day dreams wasn’t an idle pass time, but practically a business.

These days, I’ve returned to the film. Not just because I’m stuck inside around the clock and seem to be breaking a record for running through Netflix content, but because The Goonies have taken on a new and different shape in my life within the last year.

There aren’t many things I’m willing to get out of bed before 10 AM, let alone 5AM, for. …

Spoiler Alert: Ouch.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Hippocrates coined that term. Sure, he was probably referring to the Peloponnesian War as opposed to me, who’s referring to being trapped at home and trying to rid myself of body hair.

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Photo by The Creative Exchange on Unsplash

I know, it probably seems lower on the totem pole of importance at the moment, only increased by the fact that I’m quarantined and can’t actually be seen. …

COVID: Virus vs. Parasite

Last week, Andrew Cuomo took to the airwaves to give us a very heartfelt talk about his brother, Chris Cuomo, CNN reporter and newest Corona-zombie. Chris has been holed up in his basement making meatballs, taking jabs at Andrew and still reporting in for duty at work as he is a journalist and an essential employee. It was through this talk that Andrew repeatedly stated, “This virus is the great equalizer.”

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Photo by Paweł Czerwiński on Unsplash

Is it really though? I think not.

Although I believe the sentiment was nice. No can escape COVID. Everyone can get it. We’re all in this together. We aren’t in any way all equal and there have been more than a smattering of articles and tweets to prove that point. …

How COVID Clogged My Toilet

For every long running sitcom, the time eventually arrives when the writers start running out of new ideas of how to structure episodes and fall back on old tricks. One such trick is the domino effect. It seems the writers’ room of my life has now run out of ideas and is relying on the domino effect to bring any variety to my corona quarantine.

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Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

If you’ve only just awoken from a coma and didn’t know, we’re in the middle of a pandemic, Tom Brady is moving to Florida, and the only thing harder to get these days than a stiff drink at your local pub is a roll of toilet paper. Since I was adamant that I would not be one of those people who stockpile insane amounts of toilet paper, I found myself with half a roll left about a week and half ago, which unfortunately, was about a half a week too late. Yikes. …

Thoughts From an Only Slightly Overly-Dramatic Person

Restaurants have been closed, work is being completed from home, concerts cancelled, theater cancelled. Move over Gen Z, the master of cancel culture is now apparently the coronavirus, as quite seemingly, everything has been canceled. But a few days ago, it felt prudent to unleash this sanctimonious post on the world bemoaning my impending loneliness. Settling into Corona quarantine life, however, has been quite the journey. And so now, I shall invite you along with me, each stage more anticlimactic than the last.

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Photo by Sven Brandsma on Unsplash

The “I’ve realized I don’t actually keep any food in my apartment” stage — in which I gave in and made a supermarket run for fear that all the lunatics who are hoarding won’t leave anything for the rest of us... Thus rendering me a hoarder. But not toilet paper. …


Rachel Veznaian

Corporate shill by day, writer by night, wanderluster always. Subscribe to follow my adventures →

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