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The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

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  • FUNNY STUFF
    Let’s Have Forced Birth for Women and Forced Organ Donation for Men

    Let’s Have Forced Birth for Women and Forced Organ Donation for Men

    Human beings need organs, men need life commitments
    Go to the profile of Christyl Rivers, Phd.
    Christyl Rivers, Phd.
    Jul 6
    A Very Chinese Scandal

    A Very Chinese Scandal

    Where is Peng Shuai and what exactly is sexual assault?
    Go to the profile of Christine Stevens
    Christine Stevens
    Jul 6
    Let’s Scrap Voting Altogether

    Let’s Scrap Voting Altogether

    Reality TV is a much better way to elect our leaders
    Go to the profile of Jean Campbell
    Jean Campbell
    Jul 6
    I don’t like to reply comments on my articles

    I don’t like to reply comments on my articles

    I consider it the most boring activity (no offense).
    Go to the profile of Elyn
    Elyn
    Jul 6
    How To Spend 3 Hours Setting Up A Kayak And Never Get In It

    How To Spend 3 Hours Setting Up A Kayak And Never Get In It

    Has anything ever been allowed to go well?
    Go to the profile of Caitlin Andrews
    Caitlin Andrews
    Jul 6
    10 Convenient Ways To Use Your Hubby As A Raincheck

    10 Convenient Ways To Use Your Hubby As A Raincheck

    Marriage isn't a prison; it's a neverending well of excuses.
    Go to the profile of Nataly Urbaez
    Nataly Urbaez
    Jul 5
    Proverbs can be Confusing

    Proverbs can be Confusing

    Proverbs often confuse me. Sharing my thoughts on some of them as follows:
    Go to the profile of Abhishek Sainani
    Abhishek Sainani
    Jul 5
    How to Break Up a Kegger, Doggy Style

    How to Break Up a Kegger, Doggy Style

    Want to know how to break up a raging fraternity kegger in 30 seconds?
    Go to the profile of C L Smith
    C L Smith
    Jul 5
    Spreading Like Wildfire: Lawn Gone

    Spreading Like Wildfire: Lawn Gone

    Stolen goods turn bad: garden thief pays the price
    Go to the profile of Elizabeth Emerald
    Elizabeth Emerald
    Jul 5
    Steal This ‘Out of Office’ Email

    Steal This ‘Out of Office’ Email

    Hello and thanks for your message!
    Go to the profile of Evan Wildstein
    Evan Wildstein
    Jul 5
    A Classic Convert Isn’t Always So Cool

    A Classic Convert Isn’t Always So Cool

    In the beginning of our relationship, everything got really heated
    Go to the profile of Brooke Ramey Nelson
    Brooke Ramey Nelson
    Jul 5
    My Message To The Graduates

    My Message To The Graduates

    Heed my words, young ones
    Go to the profile of Tommy Paley
    Tommy Paley
    Jul 5
    You’ve Got To Worry When They Start Saying The Quiet Part Out Loud

    You’ve Got To Worry When They Start Saying The Quiet Part Out Loud

    Or Is It The Stupid Part?
    Go to the profile of David Volk
    David Volk
    Jul 5
    Book ’em, Slappy

    Book ’em, Slappy

    Hannibal Buress started the machinery that brought serial rapist Bill Cosby to justice. After the death of Michelle McNamara, Patton Oswalt…
    Go to the profile of Patrick Flynn
    Patrick Flynn
    Jul 5
    Friendships

    Friendships

    Everything changes, no matter what
    Go to the profile of Terry Trueman
    Terry Trueman
    Jul 5
    God Gets Distracted On The Way To Fixing World Peace

    God Gets Distracted On The Way To Fixing World Peace

    Now, where was I again?
    Go to the profile of Sharmila Shankarkumar
    Sharmila Shankarkumar
    Jul 5
    More Quiet Desperations of a Straight Old White Guy

    More Quiet Desperations of a Straight Old White Guy

    Kombucha? Am I supposed to know what that even is?
    Go to the profile of Freeman Scott
    Freeman Scott
    Jul 5
    The Drive-In Was a Hoot

    The Drive-In Was a Hoot

    As the sun went down and the movie flickered on the screen, kids and their parents settled in for a night of entertainment.
    Go to the profile of Mark Trevor
    Mark Trevor
    Jul 5
    Mitch McConnell To Push New “Care Bear” Message Of Republican Party

    Mitch McConnell To Push New “Care Bear” Message Of Republican Party

    Caring is what counts!
    Go to the profile of Speaking Fiction To Power
    Speaking Fiction To Power
    Jul 5
    Smart People Don’t Use Smartphones

    Smart People Don’t Use Smartphones

    They use their heads
    Go to the profile of Philip Ogley
    Philip Ogley
    Jul 5
    So Many to Thank

    So Many to Thank

    Acknowledgements from the author
    Go to the profile of David Martin
    David Martin
    Jul 4
    DATELINE July 4, 2042. FOX TV LIVE BREAKING NEWS!

    DATELINE July 4, 2042. FOX TV LIVE BREAKING NEWS!

    Good evening, I’m Bret Derringer.
    Go to the profile of P T Adams
    P T Adams
    Jul 4
    Kevin Garnett Blasts Kevin Durant For Being A Bitch

    Kevin Garnett Blasts Kevin Durant For Being A Bitch

    Dishonor to the name Kevin
    Go to the profile of Ellie Salvaje
    Ellie Salvaje
    Jul 4
    Would You Pay Not To Pee?

    Would You Pay Not To Pee?

    Healthy and rich New York men are paying up to $20,000 to alleviate the urge.
    Go to the profile of Brian Dickens Barrabee
    Brian Dickens Barrabee
    Jul 4
    Scientists: You’re Living In The Past

    Scientists: You’re Living In The Past

    What you think is the present moment is already old news.
    Go to the profile of Clem Samson
    Clem Samson
    Jul 4
    Ally Sheedy and the Kimchi Pancake Special

    Ally Sheedy and the Kimchi Pancake Special

    A shot at the Parkway Theater
    Go to the profile of Hewlett Patterson Linkwater
    Hewlett Patterson Linkwater
    Jul 4
    The Neighborhood Which Banned “Cancel Sculpture”

    The Neighborhood Which Banned “Cancel Sculpture”

    By letting people put these in their front yards
    Go to the profile of Miss Catherine La Grange, spinster
    Miss Catherine La Grange, spinster
    Jul 4
    Here Are Just a Few of My Viral Posts, According to Popular Opinion

    Here Are Just a Few of My Viral Posts, According to Popular Opinion

    Help me get the word out about my great viral success
    Go to the profile of Katemiya
    Katemiya
    Jul 4
    Laundry Day: The Final Chapter

    Laundry Day: The Final Chapter

    She wasn’t saved, but it was God’s will.
    Go to the profile of Midi O'Rourke
    Midi O'Rourke
    Jul 4
    The Case for The Attack

    The Case for The Attack

    The Seagull.
    Go to the profile of Ian Vince
    Ian Vince
    Jul 4
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