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The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

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  • FUNNY STUFF
    Subway Girl

    Subway Girl

    An underground affair
    Go to the profile of Spyder Darling
    Spyder Darling
    May 11
    “Do Unto Others As They Fucking Deserve, Ok?” And Other Wisdom From The “Pro Life” Bible

    “Do Unto Others As They Fucking Deserve, Ok?” And Other Wisdom From The “Pro Life” Bible

    JD Vance’s translation reveals the Gospel Jesus really preached
    Go to the profile of Avery Bargar
    Avery Bargar
    May 11
    The Mothers We Didn’t Know We Were: A Dog, a Puzzle, and a Quiet Mother’s Day

    The Mothers We Didn’t Know We Were: A Dog, a Puzzle, and a Quiet Mother’s Day

    On Johnny Carson, invisible labor, and the three moms under one roof — only one of whom has fur.
    Go to the profile of A.L. Bellettiere (Anna Louise Bellettiere-Kuyper)
    A.L. Bellettiere (Anna Louise Bellettiere-Kuyper)
    May 11

    A Day Without Stress

    Rhapsody: Stay With Me, My Beautiful Friend
    Go to the profile of Clem Samson
    Clem Samson
    May 11
    What’s That Mean?

    What’s That Mean?

    I understood everything else he said
    Go to the profile of Brian Dickens Barrabee
    Brian Dickens Barrabee
    May 11
    Free College Is Impossible in America

    Free College Is Impossible in America

    But we’ve got $800 billion for bombs
    Go to the profile of Victor Babaniyi
    Victor Babaniyi
    May 11
    Pope Leo Takes Out Restraining Order On JD Vance

    Pope Leo Takes Out Restraining Order On JD Vance

    “As a precautionary measure to ensure we don’t need another conclave next week.”
    Go to the profile of Patrick Metzger
    Patrick Metzger
    May 11
    The False Urgency of Becoming

    The False Urgency of Becoming

    RHAPSODY: THE CHANT THAT STILLS THE CLOCK
    Go to the profile of Clem Samson
    Clem Samson
    May 10
    Top Ten Things I Am Thankful For Today

    Top Ten Things I Am Thankful For Today

    Because no matter the altitude, gratitude is the attitude!
    Go to the profile of Spyder Darling
    Spyder Darling
    May 10
    Gold Leaf and Gossip

    Gold Leaf and Gossip

    How courtly chatter became a breeding ground for iconic idioms
    Go to the profile of Allen R Smith
    Allen R Smith
    May 10
    Deciding Who To Have Sex With

    Deciding Who To Have Sex With

    There are about six options right now. I know, it’s a lot. But I have an active social life on two continents, so don’t judge. Some of…
    Go to the profile of Christine's Adventures
    Christine's Adventures
    May 10
    I’m The Mom From Back To The Future And My Husband Just Hired My Rapist To Wax His Car

    I’m The Mom From Back To The Future And My Husband Just Hired My Rapist To Wax His Car

    Can I borrow the DeLorean? I need to go back to the past and teach the young version of my husband about MeToo.
    Go to the profile of Christine Stevens
    Christine Stevens
    May 10
    Mother’s Day Cards That Thank Her for Not Having the Same Aversion to Parenthood as You Do

    Mother’s Day Cards That Thank Her for Not Having the Same Aversion to Parenthood as You Do

    Thank you for wanting the children I’ll never want to have. Because they’re me.
    Go to the profile of Rachel Marsh
    Rachel Marsh
    May 10
    How To Raise A Husband

    How To Raise A Husband

    Do you let them free range, or will you start their training from day one?
    Go to the profile of Roz Potenza
    Roz Potenza
    May 10
    Chaos, Beauty, and All Seven Labyrinths

    Chaos, Beauty, and All Seven Labyrinths

    Rhapsody: You Who Are New, This Is What We Do
    Go to the profile of Clem Samson
    Clem Samson
    May 9
    Pete Hegseth: The Definitive Cure for Imposter Syndrome

    Pete Hegseth: The Definitive Cure for Imposter Syndrome

    If this guy’s qualified, you are too!
    Go to the profile of Jeffrey Harvey
    Jeffrey Harvey
    May 9
    Vatican Claims Pope Leo XIV, Whitest Man Alive, Has African Ancestry

    Vatican Claims Pope Leo XIV, Whitest Man Alive, Has African Ancestry

    From Creole Cousins to a Papal Initiative
    Go to the profile of Scott Christenson🌴
    Scott Christenson🌴
    May 9
    2:43 a.m. and No One Shuts the Hell Up

    2:43 a.m. and No One Shuts the Hell Up

    A firsthand account of sleep deprivation, petty revenge, and other acoustic solutions.
    Go to the profile of Sofia Hassiotaki
    Sofia Hassiotaki
    May 9
    He’s our President/ He Should Be Pope/ He’s Saving Hollywood/’Cause He’s No Dope

    He’s our President/ He Should Be Pope/ He’s Saving Hollywood/’Cause He’s No Dope

    A 100% tariff on “foreign-made” films! Consider the possibilities
    Go to the profile of Jan M Flynn
    Jan M Flynn
    May 9
    Commemoration Nation

    Commemoration Nation

    Based on actual events….
    Go to the profile of Fatchecker
    Fatchecker
    May 9

    Table for One — Song and Story

    Sometimes a night out alone is good for what ails you
    Go to the profile of Christine's Adventures
    Christine's Adventures
    May 8
    Social Awkwardness Turned Me Into A Serial Killer!

    Social Awkwardness Turned Me Into A Serial Killer!

    Well I’ve done it again, I’ve killed somebody just to get out of an uncomfortable conversation.
    Go to the profile of Illuminati Ganga Agent 86
    Illuminati Ganga Agent 86
    May 8
    Day 4 on the Post-Ego Path: Desire Without Grasping, Time Without Chains

    Day 4 on the Post-Ego Path: Desire Without Grasping, Time Without Chains

    RHAPSODY: Spirit of Post Ego, Rise
    Go to the profile of Clem Samson
    Clem Samson
    May 8
    Be Aware, Amazon is Selling Your Returns

    Be Aware, Amazon is Selling Your Returns

    And you may not like it
    Go to the profile of Brian Dickens Barrabee
    Brian Dickens Barrabee
    May 7
    Is There Thought Without Language?

    Is There Thought Without Language?

    And if so, how do I access it?
    Go to the profile of Clem Samson
    Clem Samson
    May 7
    When Your Body Craves Sex but Your Partner Says “Not Now”…

    When Your Body Craves Sex but Your Partner Says “Not Now”…

    One Wants Passion, The Other Wants Patience — Can This Relationship Survive?
    Go to the profile of Amara Celestine
    Amara Celestine
    May 7
    Over-50s Retirement Hell

    Over-50s Retirement Hell

    Can’t you do your gardening quietly? Like any *normal* person?
    Go to the profile of Susie K 🐹 Guinea pig slave
    Susie K 🐹 Guinea pig slave
    May 7
    Peter Rosché: The “Dude” of Angier After School

    Peter Rosché: The “Dude” of Angier After School

    Peter’s lessons help me teach every day
    Go to the profile of Avery Bargar
    Avery Bargar
    May 7
    Tariffs: The Movie

    Tariffs: The Movie

    Adding a whole new camera lens to the tantalizing trade trials
    Go to the profile of This, That & the Other Thing
    This, That & the Other Thing
    May 7
    The MAG-A Celebrity Shit List

    The MAG-A Celebrity Shit List

    WTF? They’ve gone ‘woke’
    Go to the profile of Melissa Maroff
    Melissa Maroff
    May 7
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