Dec 16, 2020“This is kind of like an adventure”A phrase caught my ear and sent me down a rabbit hole — A phrase caught my ear and sent me down a rabbit hole Ginger Floerchinger-Franks was interviewed for The New York Times last Monday about her Thanksgiving plans. …Humor7 min read
Nov 25, 2020Morning GloryTo buy a muffin at full price 30 minutes before closing requires a certain type of chump. — To buy a muffin at full price 30 minutes before closing requires a certain type of chump. To buy a muffin at full price 30 minutes before closing requires a certain type of chump. To visit a bakery in the evening, notice the remaining muffins are all the same kind…Humor4 min read
May 4, 2020A Story about the 2015 Tuna Fish Class Action Lawsuit that Has Nothing to Do with CoronavirusDear Mr. Zimmerman, — Dear Mr. Zimmerman, Thank you for your recent e-mail regarding your idea for writing about our StarKist Class Action Lawsuit. Dear Mr. Zimmerman, Thank you for your recent e-mail regarding your idea for writing about our StarKist Class Action Lawsuit. We are very flattered that you’ve chosen our product as…Tuna11 min read
May 1, 2020Waiting in Line for the Grocery StoreWhen I lean on my Wayfair couch in my favorite way, curled up like I’m asleep in the womb, I can see a grocery store where people with… — When I lean on my Wayfair couch in my favorite way, curled up like I’m asleep in the womb, I can see a grocery store where people with once-strange masks wait in line six feet apart. When I lean on my Wayfair couch in my favorite way, curled up like…Humor7 min read
Published in The Startup·Apr 17, 2020Looking for Eye Contact in QuarantineI live alone in New York, which means my bed is in my kitchen and I haven’t made eye contact in a month. — I live alone in New York, which means my bed is in my kitchen and I haven’t made eye contact in a month. “Breaking up with your phone….means prioritizing real-life relationships over those that take place on screen.” — Catherine Price, Breaking Up With Your Phone “Online interactions aren’t just…Quarantine7 min read
Published in Slackjaw·Dec 31, 2019Official 2019 RankingsThe only comprehensive ranking of all of 2019 on the entire internet — The only comprehensive ranking of all of 2019 on the entire internet 365. October 21 364. November 13 363. March 26 362. December 2 361. March 4 360. July 14 359. November 23 358. May 28 357. November 17 356. March 8 355. January 28 354. March 24 353. June…20196 min read
Jul 25, 2019Everything You Need to Know about the Edinburgh Fringe from Someone Who’s Never Been to the Edinburgh FringeA comedian’s 5-part pep talk for YOU (not about ME) ((a little about ME)) — A comedian’s 5-part pep talk for YOU (not about ME) ((a little about ME)) As an expert on the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, which I’ve never fully attended,* I am honored to write this definitive pre-fringe pep talk. *Disclaimer: in 2018, I snuck over and did 5 free shows and got…Humor3 min read
Jun 21, 2019Clap This Article So I Can Afford to Write a Funny-Sincere Book👏 — Comedy Writing1 min read
Published in Slackjaw·Feb 18, 2019RE: Editorial Layoffs“in this competitive media lanscape, we must focus on what makes us unique.” — “in this competitive media lanscape, we must focus on what makes us unique.” Team, I didn’t get into journalism to fire people. I got into journalism to speak truth to power, empower marginalized voices, and write the first draft of history. Journalism is an art, but it is also a…Publishing2 min read
Jan 3, 2019Elegies for the L Train ShutdownA variety of poems I wrote for the L train when I thought it was going to die — A variety of poems I wrote for the L train when I thought it was going to die “8” (Limerick) The L train sure was dandy For us it came in handy But it needed a break Which we’ll let it take Cause of wear from Hurricane Sandy “6” (Haiku) …New York3 min read
