I Didn’t Know I Was Gay

I Just Knew I Was Me

"Lesbian love" – Photo by blowsradspberries (Tumblr). https://64.media.tumblr.com/cf049ae2c510b90eff144756c0c645c4/5fb400cac60f0024-b9/s500x750/d5006320a5cb50ed117582a7ff5ef7d49f4bc848.png

When I was a kid, I didn’t know what being gay was. I didn’t even know the word gay until I was 16. All I knew was that I liked boys — not in a sexual way (come on, I was a kid) — but in that innocent, magnetic way where you just feel safe and drawn to someone. You don’t have the words for it, but it’s real.

Gender identification by color began in the early 20th century in the Western world. (Shutterstock/-).https://www.thejakartapost.com/life/2016/03/29/so-what-if-boys-play-with-dolls.html.

I was always attracted to the “feminine” stuff growing up. I loved being around girls more than boys, even though I had plenty of male friends too. But when it came to who I felt most like myself with? That was the girls.

D. Sharon Pruitt / Flickr. https://www.christianitytoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/24475.jpg

Whenever we played house or school or anything that involved pretending, I always wanted to be the mom, the wife, the daughter. It wasn’t some conscious decision — it just felt right. And yes, I still liked playing games with the boys, but there was something about being in my softness that made me feel most alive.

Then, of course, the bullying started.