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AMERICAN PERP WALK
Justice served daily with a side of satire
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Evangelicals Give Trump A+ Rating as ‘Leader Most Likely to Trigger End Times’
Evangelicals Give Trump A+ Rating as ‘Leader Most Likely to Trigger End Times’
I wrote this satire pre-Covid-19. I need to replace the mushroom cloud with the Coronavirus.
S. J. Newman
Apr 30, 2019
Roar of Marine One Helicopter Drowned Out by Trump’s Lying
Roar of Marine One Helicopter Drowned Out by Trump’s Lying
(WASHINGTON) Pilots mistakenly feared Marine One had stalled on the South Lawn yesterday when the reassuring din of the idling helicopter…
S. J. Newman
Apr 12, 2019
My Kids Draw Sarah Huckabee Sanders
My Kids Draw Sarah Huckabee Sanders
Three portraits of the White House Press Dissembler
S. J. Newman
Aug 26, 2018
Muslims Call Out American Women for Wearing ‘Butt Burkas’
Muslims Call Out American Women for Wearing ‘Butt Burkas’
Exposing a double standard for female modesty in Western culture
S. J. Newman
Aug 23, 2018
Trump Signs Executive Order to Resurrect Whale Oil Industry
Trump Signs Executive Order to Resurrect Whale Oil Industry
“By 2021, cars will run on American whale oil ”
S. J. Newman
Jul 29, 2018
My Kids Draw the President
My Kids Draw the President
Three portraits of Trump’s resting rich face
S. J. Newman
Jun 4, 2018
How Sarah Huckabee Sanders Lied Her Way Through the Arkansas Spelling Bee
How Sarah Huckabee Sanders Lied Her Way Through the Arkansas Spelling Bee
A 14-year-old Sarah Huckabee once bamboozled judges to win the 1996 Arkansas State Spelling Bee, perhaps foreshadowing her future as a…
S. J. Newman
Apr 18, 2018
Trump’s Erratic Easter Bunny Speech
Trump’s Erratic Easter Bunny Speech
Balconies and bunnies push demagogues to extremes, says plush mascot historian
S. J. Newman
Apr 6, 2018
Trump Wins Punching Down Title
Trump Wins Punching Down Title
“When you’re at the tippy top, the only way to punch is down”
S. J. Newman
Feb 4, 2018
Congress Approves First Lady’s Line of Succession
Congress Approves First Lady’s Line of Succession
WASHINGTON (S. J. Newman) Congress voted yesterday to approve the White House’s proposed line of succession to First Lady Melania Trump “if…
S. J. Newman
Jan 26, 2018
After Reading Trump Tweet, Mueller Sustains Whiplash from Facepalm
After Reading Trump Tweet, Mueller Sustains Whiplash from Facepalm
WASHINGTON (S. J. Newman) — Reacting to yet another unsupported accusation tweeted by Donald Trump, Special Counsel Robert Mueller III…
S. J. Newman
Jan 26, 2018
Kim Jong-Un vs. Dim Don Un-Presidential
Kim Jong-Un vs. Dim Don Un-Presidential
Can Trump meet Jong-Un without starting a nuclear holocaust?
S. J. Newman
Oct 7, 2017
‘Pharma Bro’ Offers Cash for Letterman’s Beard and Other Celebrity Specimens
‘Pharma Bro’ Offers Cash for Letterman’s Beard and Other Celebrity Specimens
NEW YORK (S. J. Newman) — After pharma executive Martin Shkreli posed a threat to Hillary Clinton by offering money for a lock of her hair…
S. J. Newman
Sep 23, 2017
Fleeing Police, Wells Fargo Stagecoach Rear-Ends Thomas’ English Muffin Carriage
Fleeing Police, Wells Fargo Stagecoach Rear-Ends Thomas’ English Muffin Carriage
Horse suffers minor injuries. Banker with broken leg euthanized.
S. J. Newman
Sep 6, 2017
Trump to Lift Ban on Throwing Citizens Under Tank of Militarized Police Force
Trump to Lift Ban on Throwing Citizens Under Tank of Militarized Police Force
Town of Mayberry buys military surplus anti-town-drunk tank
S. J. Newman
Aug 28, 2017
Trump Pardons His Own Reflection in Funhouse Mirror
Trump Pardons His Own Reflection in Funhouse Mirror
The President hands Arpaio a “Get Out of Jail Free Card”
S. J. Newman
Aug 26, 2017
Trump’s Total Solipsistic Eclipse
Trump’s Total Solipsistic Eclipse
Throwing shade on all who question his self-obsessed worldview
S. J. Newman
Aug 21, 2017
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