The Best Weezer Lyric Off Every Album
If you’re tired of reading about my political opinions, this article is for YOU.
Of Weezer’s ten studio albums and over 100 released songs, the band has become known for its unique, simple-yet-somehow-complex lyrics.
Below are what I consider to be the best lyrics off each album. While judging lyrics, I took into consideration the context within the song but also the context of the lyrics within the album as a whole. If you disagree with my choices, feel free to drop a response. I’m always down to discuss some Weezer. (Please, just don’t call me chubby. It hurts my #feelings.)
Weezer (Blue Album) (1994)
Honorable Mention:
I’m me. Me be. God damn. I am.
— “Undone — The Sweater Song”
Best Lyric:
Like father, step-father. The son is drowning in the flood.
— “Say It Ain’t So”
“Say It Ain’t So” might just be the best overall Weezer song, and one of the most well-known, too, thanks to Guitar Hero. This lyric occurs right before a thrashing guitar solo that leads to the final chorus. Lead singer Rivers Cuomo’s biological father was an alcoholic, and this line perfectly captures a young River’s fear that his step-father was following down the same, dangerous path.
Pinkerton (1996)
Honorable Mention:
Holy cow! I think I’ve got one here. Now just what am I supposed to do? I’ve got a number of irrational fears that’d I’d like to share with you.
— “Falling For You”
Best Lyric:
How stupid is it? For all I know you want me, too. And maybe you just don’t know what to do. Or maybe you’re scared to say, “I’m falling for you.”
— “El Scorcho”
My personal favorite Weezer song. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a song lyric that better describes a young person’s thought process when he or she is trying to find a way to confront a crush.
Rivers puts himself into his unnamed crush’s head, and, by seeing things from what might be her perspective — a similar perspective — he realizes how counterproductive it is to fear the unknown. “How stupid is it?” is more than just four simple words — it’s an anthem that can replay in your head whenever you are getting cold feet about approaching something head on.
Weezer (Green Album) (2001)
Honorable Mention:
Hip, hip.
— “Island in the Sun”
Best Lyric:
If you blew it, don’t reject it. Just sit drawing up the plans and re-erect it.
— “Photograph”
This is one of Weezer’s happiest albums, and it shows in the lyrics. This line from “Photograph” is basically Weezer’s less literal version of “Tubthumping”, only less dramatic. If you make a mistake or fail at something, don’t quit. Use it as motivation to get better and not make that same mistake again. Or: If you get knocked down, just get up again. Nothing’s gonna keep you down.
Maladroit (2002)
Honorable Mention:
Fag of the year, who could beat up your man.
— “Dope Nose”
Best Lyric:
Make me happy, for one moment of my lifetime. I’d be there.
— “Burndt Jamb”
The song is about a lost love in Rivers' life, and this line is one of the more honestly painful lyrics you’ll find in Weezer’s discography. All he wants is just an opportunity to have one more happy moment with the woman, and he’ll jump at that chance.
Make Believe (2005)
Honorable Mention:
And you wish you could quit, ‘cause you’re really sick of it, but you’re on drugs.
— “We Are All On Drugs”
Best Lyric:
Though I can’t satisfy all the needs she has and so she starts to wander…Can you blame her?
— “Perfect Situation”
In this writer’s humble opinion, Make Believe is pretty weak when it comes to lyrics. Still, in “Perfect Situation,” we see something rare in most songs — the songwriter rationalizing his own futility when it comes to attracting women.
This is a common theme in Weezer lyrics. Rivers does not place the blame on the female, but rather sees his own shortcomings as a person, and reasons as to why the subject of the song might want to walk away. Even making reference to the fact that females have needs seems to be so progressive, and I remind you this album was released in 2005.
Throughout most Weezer lyrics, you can see Rivers has a great respect for women — such respect that he doesn’t think he is good enough for any of them.
Weezer (Red Album) (2008)
Honorable Mention:
Because I can’t work a job like any other slob, punching in and punching out and sucking up to Bob. Marrying a bee-yotch, having seven kids, giving up and growing old and hoping there’s a God.
— “Troublemaker”
Best Lyric:
I’m like a mage with the magic spell. You come like a dog when I ring your bell.
— “The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Variations on a Shaker Hymn)
While the Honorable Mention lyric from “Troublemaker” is no doubt more existential, I’m blown away with how seamlessly Rivers manages to brag about his sexual prowess with a reference to Dungeons and Dragons.
This section of the song was influenced by popular rap, and it’s amazing how Rivers includes the themes of rap music (i.e. women and sex) but still keeps it just nerdy enough for himself and all the Weezer fans.
Raditude (2009)
Honorable Mention:
I took you to Best Buy. You took me home to meet your mom and dad.
— “(If You’re Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To”
Best Lyric:
When the conversation stops and we’re facing our defeat, I’ll be next to you and you’ll be right there next to me.
— “(If You’re Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To”
Most of Weezer’s songs are based in part on some experiences of lead singer and songwriter Rivers Cuomo. This one in particular was based off his relationship with the woman who would later become his wife, which makes the ending of this awkward love story even more aww-inducing.
Hurley (2010)
Honorable Mention:
I’m falling in love. What was your name?
— “Smart Girls”
Best Lyric:
I want to be something. I don’t know why. I want to know that at least I tried.
— “I Want To Be Something”
This isn’t a song that even most Weezer fans know, as it was a bonus track on what is arguably one of their worst albums. It’s a song about facing adversity and the uncertainty of the future.
The narrator knows he is capable of great things and ponders what his legacy could be. While he understands the odds are stacked against him, he knows that, deep down, he has to give it his all and hope for the best.
Everything Will Be Alright In The End (2014)
Honorable Mention:
Don’t want to compromise my art for universal appeal. Don’t want to be mass consumed. I’m not a happy meal.
— “I’ve Had It Up To Here”
Best Lyric:
I know you’re scared. I know you’re sad. I’m here to help you realize it’s not so bad.
— “Lonely Girl”
The song is about the narrator trying to get a girl to come out of her shell. This is what I was talking about in the beginning when I said Weezer has some of the best simple-yet-somehow-complex lyrics. There’s one two-syllable word, four contractions, and thirteen one-syllable words, but this lyric speaks volumes.
Even when we are scared and upset, we can always count on someone — a friend, or family member — to provide us with even a breath of optimism and hope. Vice-versa, when someone we know is scared and upset, this lyric is a pretty good template for breaking through to said person.
Weezer (White Album) (2016)
Honorable Mention:
I’m all jacked up over you. I’d bury diamonds just for you. Oh, why, why, why do my flowers always die? Why do they die? I’m all jacked up over you.
— “Jacked Up”
Best Lyric:
I put my jacket over my head. I’m trying not to stare at her chest. I can’t even dance in the dark, ’cause my headphones are still on the seat of her car.
— “Endless Bummer”
Ah, “Endless Bummer,” the best song released in 2016, if you ask me. This lyric was stuck in my head the entire summer, and, now that I’m writing this, it’ll probably be stuck in my head all over again.
The song features a young man involved in a devolving love affair over the course of one summer. The genius of the song — and these lyrics in particular — is how easily Rivers finds a way to relate to people who have been in these types of spontaneous, seasonal relationships.
The awkwardness. The propensity to just want to escape it all because you know it’s over. And then the realization that you can’t escape because you misplaced your headphones — an event so common in our modern world that Apple still sells out of headphones frequently, even though you get a FREE FUCKING PAIR with every purchase of an iProduct.
The thing that really gets me with this lyric is the second line, where Rivers quickly bridges the gap between fantasy and reality. It makes such a mundane act — leaving his headphones in his former lover’s car — so painful and heartbreaking. So simple, yet so complex.
Bonus Song Lyric
I love the USA. I love the USA. Fuck yeah, this place is great. I love the USA.
— “I Love The USA”
Ah, good old-fashioned patriotism. Nothing political about that.
Jared is an award-winning (that’s not true) writer who has published featured articles (also not true) in Playboy, Maxim, and Entertainment Weekly (no, no, and no). In his free time, he donates his time to help (don’t know where this is going, but it’s probably not true) inner-city youth learn how to read (yeah, not true). If you enjoyed this piece or would like to troll Jared on social media, his Twitter is here and his website is here.
