Bumblebee lookin pill

I’m starting to notice that I’ve been feeling rundown for weeks and just pushing through it. Bladder pain and nauseated…

Limits

My first instinct is to say that the reason you make me feel safe is because you have all the answers, that you are helping me push myself through these “attacks” or “episodes” as you call them.

I’m tempted to tell myself that you’re the one giving me strength by forcing me to push myself…

I enjoy the messiness of Medium. I like the fact that the writing here is sometimes uneven, error prone, and half-baked. I block real world publications that are cross posting here. It’s not that I bear them any ill will, but none of that is exciting to me.

5s

Recently, I dropped my phone on the elevator floor. I’d been trying to switch my coffee from one hand to the other, and I’d forgotten the phone was already in the hand where the cup was heading. It’s easy to do things like that these days, since my phone feels as much a part of me as my finger or my eyebrow. I rarely…

It gets worse, I’m sorry to say. I eat a fraction of what I once ate. Every year my diet improves. I eat better, exercise more, and meditate more often, but I feel about the same. You have kids so you know. You’ve watched a toddler take a fall that would kill you, watched them eat and enjoy their food like a buddha, looked at the unimaginable health…

Dog vomit and rat shit

I take great pleasure in knowing that the dog vomit that stayed on my bed disgusted you, and that my choice to sleep on the floor rather than clean it up was an acceptable choice for me because I value dealing with my friends’ emotional hurts more highly than I value my comfort or your…

Internet

Time to start anew old Friend

You’ll Have to ask Him to Explain

…and so I did and he brought forth first an inquiry,

memoria

Cold dog nose in my face, time to feed the Lola.

Look for pants, socks, shoes. Play through a Hanon exercise on my piano while she’s eating. Make sure to turn my wrist between each note. God this is so hard. I wish someone would ask me how I’m feeling. I’m the one that asks everyone how…