From Darkness to Light: The Allegory of the Cave and Getting Out of Your Head
“How could they see anything but the shadows if they were never allowed to move their heads?” (The Republic)
In the section of Plato’s Republic, famously known as “the Allegory of the Cave,” the philosopher Socrates poses this quoted question to his interlocutor Glaucon. Socrates is alluding to the fact that we can never know something in its true form if we are continually being fed false, lesser, or distorted images of the essential reality. The story concludes with Socrates stating that it is only once one exits the cave, into the blinding light of the truth, that he or she can learn to see the world as it really is.
I believe that this is also true with understanding ourselves. I have often found that I can get caught up in my own head, worrying about regrets and fears of distorted views of myself and my life, more than I focus on the truth of what is actually happening around me. In doing so, I develop exaggerated, negative perspectives of my own self-image, how I think others see me, and what my life is like in comparison to that of others and my own imagined plan for myself. You may have had similar experiences yourself. These unrealistic beliefs can trap us in depression about our past or current states and anxiety about the future. However, if we learn to get out of our heads by grounding ourselves in the present moment, speaking our fears, and asking others for help, we can start to advance into the light of reality.
A skewed self-image can be the groundwork that sets one up for failure in this pursuit. How we view ourselves can be exaggerated to the extreme in both directions. In a form of excessive doubt or scrupulosity, we can fall into various degrees of self-deprecation. Believing that we are inadequate, powerless, or unable to change can lead to a sense of hopelessness and self-pity. Contrarily, a spirit of hubris can cause one to live in a prideful manner, which is likely accomplished by putting down others to boost one’s own perceived status. In both of these situations, our self-image becomes warped, like walking through a hall of mirrors at the carnival. We will easily become dizzy and disoriented if we continue to live our lives with such distorted perspectives of ourselves. However, only by seeking out the reality of who we really are can we finally find true self-integrity and peace.
How we think that others see us can also strongly influence how we see ourselves. I myself tend to stray toward believing that others perceive me more negatively than they actually do. Due to my physical and visual limitations from brain cancer treatment, I tend to think that others see me as lesser or as an outsider. However, I have come to find that normally I over-estimate how often people view me in light of my disabilities and I under-estimate how much they focus on my good qualities. On the other hand, we can also take on a narcissistic character if we believe that others view us in a grander light than they actually do. This can lead us to act haughtily around our peers and we can overestimate our perceived abilities and under-perform in reality. To better align our outer selves with our inner image, it can be helpful to ask those around us that we trust for their perspective of ourselves or of a given situation. Not only can their third-party perspective help set the record straight, but they may also be able to offer advice if we are struggling with a certain scenario.
Comparing ourselves with others, whether it be to a close friend or colleague or to a complete stranger or celebrity, does us no good either. No two people can be judged side by side. Everyone comes with their own histories, struggles, influences, and beliefs. These all affect from where we have come and to where we are going. Whether it be comparing our looks, skills, interests, or any other virtue or flaw with that of another, it will only lead to more disillusionment and discontentment.
I, along with probably many of you, struggle with this harmful habit of juxtaposing who we are with who we wish we were. But, the most helpful advice that I have received to overcome falling into this mindset is: first, stopping the thoughts of comparison when they come; secondly, changing it into a moment of gratitude for a current blessing; and thirdly, complimenting others on their positive characteristics instead. This step-ladder approach definitely takes practice and requires that we master the previous level before progressing to the next step. Nonetheless, each effort to change a negative reflection into a chance for humility and community is another opportunity to get us out of our heads into the light of truth.
Additionally, we can create exaggerated hopes for who we wish we were that only lead us to further disappointment. We can try to relate where we are now to from where we have come or to where we wish that we could be. We may beat ourselves up with the regret of “if only I had done this” or “if only that had gone differently.” However, in the moment, it is often hard to see why the course of one’s life takes the path that it does, as I described in “Only Time Will Tell: Time as the Best Medicine.” Further, we cannot change the past. Nonetheless, once we take a step out of our current fears and worries, we can better reflect on the positive changes and gifts that we have achieved and received in our lives. Similarly, we may hold ourselves to unrealistic standards or endlessly worry about the infinite negative outcomes of the future, as I detailed in “Overcoming Your Negativity Bias.” It is important to self-reflect and to seek self-improvement; but, if we excessively ruminate on our past mistakes, hold ourselves to inflated ideals, or fear events that will likely never come to be, we will only drown ourselves in a state of infinite exasperation.
An eminent previous president of the American Physiology Association and the father of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, stated that there are three P’s — personalization, permanence, and pervasiveness — that can inhibit our ability to rise out of these psychological caves. Personalization leads one to start blaming themselves for their situation. Permanence makes one believe that their life will always be as it is now and that nothing will ever change or improve. Pervasiveness causes one to think that an event will affect all aspects of their life. However, taking on such an always/never mentality will only force us to become more trapped in the cave of distorted beliefs about ourselves and the world. The disparity that we experience between our perceived notions of ourselves and our lived realities can lead to anxiety and depression. These perspectives can be debilitating if formed early on in life, as I noted in “It’s Something I Deal With.” Nonetheless, no matter when they develop or recur throughout life, we can always work toward developing better habits to help us take steps out of the dark confines of our mind into the light of reality.
In a supernatural sense, these anxious perspectives and depressed mindsets can be distractions from our path toward heaven. In C.S. Lewis’s classic Screwtape Letters, he writes that,
“There is nothing like suspense and anxiety for barricading a human’s mind against [God]. He wants men to be concerned with what they do; [the devil’s] business is to keep them thinking about what will happen.”
Sometimes, we can justify worry under the guise of wanting to be prepared or not wanting to make a mistake or disappoint others again. However, such excessive concern with what has happened or what will come to be usually only stops us in our tracks and keeps us from moving forward at all. It may even lead us to regress in the pursuit of discovering who we are meant to be. In these situations, it is important to not be overwhelmed by all the potential possibilities, but instead, to seek the advice of trusted friends and family and to take just one more step in the right direction. Pretty soon, we will start to have distanced ourselves enough from the cavern of our minds that the fog of anxiety and depression can start to slowly, but surely, clear.
Although we are embodied minds, physical pleasures do not often help in improving our psychological circumstances in the long run. Food, alcohol, drugs, and even simple material possessions will only lead to further dependency and remorse when the temporal good eventually wears off or runs out. Contrarily, there are various psychological practices that can help to reshape our negative habits of thinking. Grounding, reframing, gratitude journaling, and writing down evidence for and against our exaggerated beliefs are all tools that can be beneficial in improving our habitually vicious thought processes. Just going for a walk, exercising, engaging in an old hobby, or picking up a new interest can be a good way to interrupt the snow balling of negative thoughts. Additionally, changing our routines in a positive way, e.g. getting up earlier in the morning to exercise or meditate, eating healthier, drinking more water, or making more time to catch up with friends and family can all shake the shackles keeping us chained to our distorted views of ourselves and the world.
Of course, since we are social animals, we also need solutions rooted in community. We cannot achieve any significant change on our own. As I mentioned in “One Man’s Lack is Another Man’s Pleasure: A Declaration of Dependence,” the biggest realization that has helped me start to make improvements in my own life has been that we do not have to, or that we ought not even try to, accomplish this feat on our own. We need the direction, encouragement, and support of others to help us along. Also, simply speaking our fears, worries, and anxieties out loud does wonders in relieving the stress of carrying mental baggage. Once the thoughts are out of our heads, it is easier to see how absurd they are and we may be able to talk through them with a trusted companion and work toward a solution. Whenever we are overcome by negative thoughts, we should not be afraid to immediately call, text, or reach out to someone close to us for help. Additionally, there are numerous, readily available resources, such as the new Suicide Hotline (just dial 988), the AFSP, SAMHSA, and the NIMH to help in times of more acute crises. Even that simple action of reaching out can stop the downward spiral pulling us further into the cave. Lastly, if we are in a stable state of mind and we have the will to do so, doing something good for someone else can give us meaning and purpose in difficult times. However, it is important to first receive help, so that we have something to give. For, as Plato writes, the person must come into the light before re-entering the cave to help others out.
This declaration of dependence can actually help to invert our previous images of ourselves and of the world. Recently, while reading G.K. Chesteron’s St. Francis of Assisi, I came across his description of St. Francis coming out of a cave on his head, seeing the world upside down (also alluded to in Mumford and Sons’s song “The Cave”). It was through seeing the world in this way that St. Francis came to understand it fully — in that we are creatures dependent upon God and one another. Chesterton flips the image of the cave on its head (no pun intended) to show how St. Francis was able to appreciate the truth of reality not only by coming out of the cave, but also by realizing that we and our world are dependent (coming from the Latin dependere, meaning “to hang from”) upon God and one another. When we realize that our very existence and that of the world hangs principally on God, and secondarily on our interactions with our neighbors, all of our fears and worries begin to carry a lot less weight because we can realize that we are not solely responsible all of the time for how our lives line up. Events happen that are out of our control or for reasons yet unseen. Nonetheless, we have the never-ending support of God and the ready help of our brothers and sisters to guide us back to the light, whenever we find ourselves in a dark cavern again.
It can be extremely easy to get caught up in our heads when thoughts start to swirl into storms of anxiety or depression. How we see ourselves, what we believe that our neighbors think about us, and how we compare ourselves to others can all skew how we see ourselves and the world. The difference between our perceptions and experiences can lead to physical and mental distress. Additionally, these psychological struggles carry a spiritual significance, in that they may distract us from the path to discovering who we are truly meant to be. The good news is that there are a variety of psychological, social, and spiritual approaches that we can take to adjust the thought processes keeping us fixed on projected images instead of on true realities. The success of this transition hangs on our realizing that we are dependent upon God and one another. In the end, it comes down to learning to properly respond to experiences, instead of just reacting to them from our fears and worries. At the heart of it all is trying to be more friendly toward ourselves, i.e. treating ourselves as we would respond to a friend going through a similar situation. For, we are told that we should love our neighbors as ourselves. But, that first necessitates that we are kind to ourselves and put practices into place to help us step out of the enclosure of our cavernous psyches into the light of life.
