Depression, my constant companion

I was lying in bed and thought to myself, “how many more years am I going to have to go through this? How much longer am I going to have to be alive, to drag myself through each day, to exist, to have to feel and think and hurt and never have any reprieve? When will I…

Sitting on his wheel

The roads I grew up on are narrow, long and flat. They stretch out in front of you, creating mirages and never seeming to end, just a repetition of paddocks, crops and sheep along the edges. On the bike there is nothing to protect you from the wind that cuts straight through you, the sun…

Animal instincts

In nature animals and plants have developed defences to protect them from predators. Whether it is the chameleon that blends into its surrounds or a lizard escaping by dropping its tail or a cat getting out its claws out and fighting evolution has resulted in nature being able to protect itself.

You contain enough, why don’t you let it out then?

Every time someone new comes into my life I freak out a little bit about them reading my blog.

There is an inherent fear I hold that when someone finds out more about me that they’ll like me less.

What unites us

It’s funny how things start to jump out at you once you’ve got a certain topic on your mind.

As these words already seem to have been captured so perfectly I won’t try and put my own interpretation on them. They’re already enough.

Embrace the uncertainty

It’s a bit of a cliché to be getting all reflective at this time of year. I’d like to say it’s not a Christmas or end of year reflection, but an impending birthday reflection. In just a few days time I’ll be turning 28.

Miserable is not normal

I have spent a significant part of my life being miserable. Feeling lethargic, worthless and sad was normal to me.

Trying to kill myself was the turning point for this, while I was significantly more miserable for a while I also started to take action. I talked…

Only the wisdom that is in it

Yesterday I sent a message of thanks to a friend who in the few years I have known has hurt me more than anyone else I have ever known.

He’s broken my heart more times than I can count, yet he is still one of the most important people in my life.

100 days of breaking

I broke.

There’s not much else to say, I didn’t make it to 100 days. I’m not going to justify why I didn’t get through to the end, this was a deal I made with myself and I’ve had enough internal arguments about it already.