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Why you need to stop helping.

Why you need to stop helping.

There’s a model in psychology called ‘The Drama Triangle’, created by someone called Dr Stephen Karpman in the 1960s. It gives us a way of…
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Max St John
How to act wisely in conflict

How to act wisely in conflict

When we’re triggered we feel urged to act immediately. But those actions often come with unintended, unhelpful consequences. Here’s how to…
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Max St John
Beyond our stories — finding language that reconnects

Beyond our stories — finding language that reconnects

When we fight, it’s so easy to make things worse just by the language we use. This is how to change that.
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Max St John
Compassion is selfish and you need it.

Compassion is selfish and you need it.

Thinking about compassion as a moral imperative — that we should be nice — is missing the point and choosing to make our lives miserable.
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Max St John
Dealing with triggers (yours and others)

Dealing with triggers (yours and others)

What happens when you’re triggered and how not to let it ruin conversations, collaborations and relationships.
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Max St John
Why we fight - Part Two: Drama, victimhood and endless invitations

Why we fight - Part Two: Drama, victimhood and endless invitations

This is a two-part series exploring why we experience conflict, and how to find a more healthy relationship with it. Read Part One or sign…
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Max St John
How to fight well: communicating for connection

How to fight well: communicating for connection

In the heat of the moment, all the tools that we need the most go out of the window.
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Max St John
Latest
How to fight well: steadying yourself in conflict

How to fight well: steadying yourself in conflict

The moment we find ourselves in a perceived conflict, our oldest and most core functionality kicks in.
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Max St John
Conditions for better conversations

Conditions for better conversations

Practicing these three principles in how you communicate — with others and yourself — will lead to healthier conflict and conversations…
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Max St John
Why We Fight – Part One: Judgement, blame and endless cycles of conflict.

Why We Fight – Part One: Judgement, blame and endless cycles of conflict.

We blame other people for our frustrations and fears. The stories we tell about them leave us locked in a powerless and unfulfilling…
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Max St John
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