The traumas of my childhood, part 1

Yesterday I was filled with so much rage I didn’t know what to do with it. I thought I should immediately start blogging about it, but instead I took a shower and laid down and cried. Also before that, in the car, I screamed something — can’t remember what — and as I…

I’m sorry I fuck up your Christianity, fam

I went to bed angry and I had angry dreams. I dreamed about the woman my dad has his 2nd affair with, who was my mom’s best friend, and who was generally really, really immature. Let’s call her V. Anyway I dreamed I was at a party and listening to a…

The traumas of my childhood, part 2

I saw my psychiatrist on Monday and was telling him the stuff I’d written about my dad in the last post. I was talking about how it was so frustrating how my experiences got gaslighted by people claiming my father was an amazing man, and how even my mother rarely…

Things I need to know about my mom

A few months ago I asked my mom how it was that I CLEP’d out of a year of college. I’ve talked to her about this before so I’m not sure why I did again, but her response was interesting nonetheless.

The traumas of my childhood, part 3

I could title this post “Why I am mad at Christianity” or more accurately “Why Christianity triggers me,” because it’s not as though I walk around in a perpetual state of anger at the institution. But like I said in the first post of this series, Christianity was…

I finally went to Hogwarts

I’d been delaying visiting the Harry Potter stuff at Universal Orlando. Well, more exactly, I didn’t really care…

I am a liar

I’m having one of my anxiety moments, which last a few days usually, and I told my psychiatrist that this morning. I said some of it was due to uncertainties at work, but that it was probably brought on by the fact that I feel so disconnected from my family I’m asking myself if I really have a family…

Autopsy of a wedding

I have such a shit memory, but I like to think it’s because I spend so much of my memory power on what the fuck I wrote last week and where I am in that whole linear storyline I’m meant to be able to recall on demand. I also like to think memory power is a thing. When I was a kid, I remember…

I’ve lost my memories & my mom broke her silence

My mom swears this never happened and maybe she’s right, but I remember trying to open the door to the house and it not turning. I thought, “She locked the door,” and then I went to the front door and that didn’t move either, and I thought, “She…

Real quick about my heart and then more family drama

“Why Jaimie… you do have a heart.”

I heard statements like that early on in life and I always shrugged it off, laughed, because I was quite proud of the implication that I usually looked decisive and cool. But…