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In the Event of My Death Next Tuesday, Please Use This Pre-Written Obituary
In the Event of My Death Next Tuesday, Please Use This Pre-Written Obituary
Because only I can do my life (and death) justice
Lindsay Rae Brown
Sep 1
How I Become More Awkward as I Age
How I Become More Awkward as I Age
I’ve lost my marginal coolness and my mojo, too
Sarah Paris
Jun 18
Sort of Interesting Things I Witnessed This Summer
Sort of Interesting Things I Witnessed This Summer
Incidents and observations
Lindsay Rae Brown
Sep 7
Bald-Faced Hornets Can Remember Human Faces
Bald-Faced Hornets Can Remember Human Faces
Some wild facts about wasps and my asshole neighbor
Christopher Robin
Jul 24, 2023
All the Reasons I Would Hop Right Into That Creepy Unmarked Van Over There
All the Reasons I Would Hop Right Into That Creepy Unmarked Van Ove...
Nothing will stop me from cuddling some fainting goats!
Lindsay Rae Brown
Sep 12
Did You Know that a Bee’s Penis Explodes Upon Orgasm?
Did You Know that a Bee’s Penis Explodes Upon Orgasm?
And other things I’ve penned into people’s books
Lindsay Rae Brown
Sep 20
Am I Old, or Is Gen Z Just Genuinely Perplexing?
Am I Old, or Is Gen Z Just Genuinely Perplexing?
Things I will never understand
Lindsay Rae Brown
Jun 28
Latest
My Life as a Feral Forest Witch Shall Commence Posthaste
My Life as a Feral Forest Witch Shall Commence Posthaste
Soon, I will be one with the raccoon
Lindsay Rae Brown
Oct 16
Common Courtesy is Disappearing
Common Courtesy is Disappearing
Public rudeness is more evidence of social collapse
Patrick Metzger
Sep 28
That Time My Mom and I Nearly Drowned in a Pit of Balls
That Time My Mom and I Nearly Drowned in a Pit of Balls
On a scale of enjoying the smell of gasoline to enjoying the taste of gasoline, how much childhood trauma do you have?
Lindsay Rae Brown
Sep 22
My Bizarre Trip to a Dying Suburban Mall
My Bizarre Trip to a Dying Suburban Mall
An apocalyptic tale strewn with memories of the glory days of malls
Sarah Paris
Sep 17
A List of Random Items this Sleep Goblin Slept Soundly with Last Night
A List of Random Items this Sleep Goblin Slept Soundly with Last Night
Sleeping solo has its advantages
Lindsay Rae Brown
Sep 15
Mystery Strangers Cut My Lawn
Mystery Strangers Cut My Lawn
I don’t know if it was done sarcastically or supportively
Patrick Metzger
Aug 5
How to Not Get Laid by the Guy You’re Talking To Online
How to Not Get Laid by the Guy You’re Talking To Online
Inspired by true events
Lindsay Rae Brown
Jul 21
Things I’ve Done Recently and Then Immediately Regretted
Things I’ve Done Recently and Then Immediately Regretted
#4 Shaving my Venus fly trap bald
Lindsay Rae Brown
Jul 7
Can I Survive 168 Hours Alone with My Sister?: A Reflection on Sisterhood
Can I Survive 168 Hours Alone with My Sister?: A Reflection on Sisterhood
My big sister is coming to spend a week with me, and I’m nervously excited
Sarah Paris
Jul 6
I Clocked 85,000 Steps But My Body Looks the Same
I Clocked 85,000 Steps But My Body Looks the Same
Sweat, muscle aches, and tears didn’t transform my physique
Sarah Paris
Jun 8
That Time I Had to Sit on My Teacher’s Lap After Failing a Math Test
That Time I Had to Sit on My Teacher’s Lap After Failing a Math Test
Oh, I’ve Got Trauma, Kiddo
Lindsay Rae Brown
Jun 4
How I Pee Like No One Is Watching
How I Pee Like No One Is Watching
There’s a reason “classy” is my middle name
Sarah Paris
May 29
Don’t Soil Your Denim Panties
Don’t Soil Your Denim Panties
Things I now need to quietly whisper to myself
Lindsay Rae Brown
May 20
Hypotheses Regarding the Bearded Man on a Bicycle I Encountered This Morning
Hypotheses Regarding the Bearded Man on a Bicycle I Encountered This Morning
Oh, the possibilities!
Lindsay Rae Brown
May 16
“I’m Sorry You Had To Hear About My Nipples!” and Other Thoughts Regarding My Mental Health
“I’m Sorry You Had To Hear About My Nipples!” and Other Thoughts Regarding My Mental Health
When I Worry, I Spiral, and When I Spiral, I Twirl!
Lindsay Rae Brown
May 13
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