My toddler — My enemy

Who’s been training my toddler in MMA fighting, and can I get a refund?

Stock photos get pregnancy totally wrong…

Why are all these pregnant women glowing? It’s called Photoshop

A Tale of Horrifying Smells…

Or, “The Pregnant Lady’s Nightmare”

Oh, the indignity of pregnancy!

My new favorite thing is not knowing I have to pee until I cough and pee at the same time.

Conversations with the fetus inside my uterus

This little dude hasn’t even been born yet, and he’s already got opinions!

A day at the zoo with anxiety and my two-year old

We’ve just spent a fun family day at the zoo, so why…

Pooping alone, and other things I don’t get to do now that I’m a mom

How do parents survive toddler-hood?

Our not-yet-three year-old thinks he’s the boss. We are trying like hell to convince him…

The toddler started daycare today, so I get my life back… right?

Sticky the Lizard has Leprosy

“Piece, Mama” says my two-year old as he hands me the gummy, hairy, disgusting stump that used to be…