Hunger Strike or The reason I stopped eating
I decided to stop eating due to the handling of my court case by Judge Petteri Plosila.
This is one of those posts that will go unnoticed.
I had my last full meal about six days ago.
It was Dublin chipper, Liberties, smoked cod and chips.
An extremely rare and guilty pleasure.
Granted, it has been so long since I had cod, I can’t be sure it was cod.
Fasting is painful.
Especially, it seems, if you’re spending the time writing record of what has happened, what is happening to you.
The headaches seem to come faster now.
But that could be age.
Since then I’ve found the dog end remains of two microwave bags of popcorn and popped the kernels in a pot. Not at the same time. Rummaging through a bin does not always give all the treasures immediately.
One cup of Swedish O’Boy hot chocolate mix thing I found in a rucksack.
Two small packets of wine gums. Which I have developed a bizarre craving for and seem to dream about.
Last night when the palpitations got particularly bad, I found the remains of an eight day old burrito bowl in the bottom of the fridge. It was about a quarter of the size of my fist. But it stopped the wobbles enough to get to sleep.
A friend dropped today with some tobacco and a bag of wine gums and jelly babies. The wine gums are gone, I’m working on the jelly babies.
I have mostly survived on water, coffee, and a couple of cacao sachets, again, found in my rucksack and cigarettes. And when cigarettes have not been available, the butts of the cigarettes that went previously.
I am now, almost 100% positive that besides paper; in bags, on the floor and in the trash, there is nothing edible to stave off the headaches and pains of gradually ceasing to eat.
Now there’s just me, the pain and cigarettes.
Probably coffee too, now that I think about it.
To mark this, I got the cheapest bottle of red wine I could find that looked like wine and not a prop from a seventies dystopian science fiction film.
I have to drink it pretty slowly.
Put a bit of salt in the water.
The headache bounces about in the background a bit.
I’m not sure what those assholes who go on lengthy health fad fasts are talking about, at no point have I “lost the desire for food.”
I am tangibly aware of food, it haunts the corners of my dreams.
This seems to be where the wine gums cravings has come from.
Some odd, escaped, sunny childhood something.
I decided to stop eating due to the handling of my court case by Judge Petteri Plosila.
It is a difficult decision. But I realise I am now dealing with a judge who is not acting as judges should.
Judge Petteri Plosila
Judge Petteri Plosila has stated before court, that he is not impartial.
Judge Petteri Plosila is a floorball referee, Tom Hedkrok is apparently on the Olympic floorball committee. Judge Petteri Plosila refused to answer questions regarding a conflict of interest.
Apparently, Salme Sandström, Pekka Ruokonen’s wife, is on the panel for picking judges. Pekka Ruokonen as you might recall is my landlord and a wealthy ex-attorney who threatened to murder me, let himself into the apartment I rented, took photos of me getting dressed and got violent when asked to delete the photos. When asked about a conflict of interest and the ethical and legal implications of Salme Sandström representing her husband, Judge Petteri Plosila immediately ceased communication in English and refused to communicate on the issue or in English again.
Judge Petteri Plosila refused a postponement so I could find representation after Maria Flygare was fired for lying to her client and legal malpractice.
Judge Petteri Plosila sent me court documents I could not read, when I asked for a translation, I was told I would have 60 minutes before court to have a court translator translate them. These documents informed me that the court had decided I had to have all English parts of my evidence and correspondence in the matter concerning Pekka Ruokonen translated to official Finnish.
Essentially, Judge Petteri Plosila gave me 30 or 60 minutes to translate approximately four years of communication.
Judge Petteri Plosila awarded the attorney Maria Flygare who had been fired for lying and malpractice €3628,24.
Surprisingly, and in no way a show of corruption, Judge Petteri Plosila ruled completely in the favour of Pekka Ruokonen.
Besides admitting he was not impartial. Here is the date given for my appeal
I filed the appeal on the 21st of May.
This was Judge Petteri Plosila’s response.
Due to this obvious lame fuck around and complete departure from ethics, morals and the code of conduct of judges.
Besides completely ignoring his verdict and demands and threats of fines.
Judge Petteri Plosila has forced me to do the only thing I can do to protest his morally bankrupt activities.
And that is to go on Hunger Strike.
Let me cover some of the events and people leading up to this
For a few years now, I have been dealing with Pekka Ruokonen, Tanja Eranto Mikko Koskensyrjä, Saara Suojanen, Jouko Räisänen, Noora Uitto, Ullemaria Hall, , Thita Tipagon, Sanna Heliovaara, Shamal Kedan Mohammed, Dr. Kirsti Ahmajarvi, Dr. Hanna-Mari Hilden, Tom Hedkrok, Pekka Ylikoski, Maria Flygare,
Laura Rintamäki (of the illegally constructed flamenco school in the basement of Kirstinkatu 4E.)
and lastly
Judge Petteri Plosila.
Let’s hope all these people are well versed in the Streisand Effect eh?
Where do I begin?
I suppose the beginning, as it comprehensively details where Tom Hedkrok and floorball come into this.
Let’s get the bedrock out of the way.
Shamal Kedan Mohammed:
Shamal Kedan Mohammed: a lunatic immigrant, who, whenever I asked him where he was from would say “Turkey….eh…Iraq…” I feel I can safely say lunatic because he tried to blind and kill me and though I strenuously warned the police would go on to commit attempted manslaughter. The Islamic community of Helsinki certainly went to bat for him, if in a scared way, reaching out to me again and again to tell me I was going to be killed and that he was an animal.
The class bully, who after taking a homework from Thita Tipagon and relentlessly harassing her, when I silently retrieved it for her, went to stab me in the back. Ari, the disappeared Kurd who used to work for the CIA and the American army, shoved him back down.
Sanna Heliovaara,
Sanna Heliovaara, the Finnish teacher saw this and because she lacked any real training to do anything including teach, spent a few minutes taunting Shamal about being “a little boy” and “a child” and “only children and little boys take homework”. From previous antics, it was clear Shamal was unhinged and from an unknown background. Publicly humiliating him would lead him take a metal pen and attempt to blind me in a prison shanking, before trying to bury it into the artery in my throat before descending into a frenzy that left me with a permanent fizzy dent in my skull.
Sanna Heliovaara will never mention her part in this, preferring to not even say I was attacked, but that it was a fight. I never did figure out if this is because I refused to react to the long closed door teacher meeting where she repeatedly Basic Instinct’d with tights stretched across panties and I stared uncomfortably at the floor.
Thita Tipagon,
Thita Tipagon, the fifty-something year old Thai lady who might have had a cafe in Amsterdam and had a farm in Thailand, who was on an unemployment language scheme in Helsinki. My friend, I stood in for her as she was being bullied and harassed. She rode with me, part of the way to the hospital and bought me coffee before. We used to go for coffee regularly, She would later state she didn’t know who I was and couldn’t remember anything until they showed her a photo of me. “Lots of boys used to take my homework, I wasn’t in school with those people”
This will allow some credence for Sanna and Shamal’s version, where Sanna says a fight broke out because I stole something from Shamal and Shamal will say he accidentally stabbed me repeatedly around the eyes and in the throat and head and hands and arms and face and chest and back because “I pushed his belly” and “got a wild look in my eyes” and he was afraid for his life and it was self-defence.
When the Finnish prosecutor will refuse to allow me to drop the case I am the victim in, due to fears for my life, shouting at me down the phone. Thita Tipagon will ignore my messages asking her to tell the truth. Apparently it was my right enshrined in Finnish law to be able to drop the case. I guess the Finnish prosecutor didn’t feel like I had rights.
Dr. Hanna-Mari Hilden,
Dr. Hanna-Mari Hilden, the emaciated public health shrink who will refuse to admit she cannot speak fluent enough English. Dr. Hanna-Mari Hilden will misunderstand how much I drink, accuse me of being an alcoholic and try to force me to sign a piece of paper that if I did, would have been an admittance of welfare fraud. Because to drink what she said I did, I would have had to spend my rent, leaving me with about €37 euros a month. She will demand I go to group therapy with Finnish people with PTSD. I don’t speak Finnish. Exasperated by her refusal to admit she could not understand me, whilst misunderstanding me, and after being given a list of medication I could pick my own from, I walk out.
Dr. Hanna-Mari Hilden is supposed to write a visit summary in under a month. This is so I can be referred for further treatment. The consummate professional, she will eventually write this nearly a year later. It will be riddled with errors, from the medication I am on, to being unable to remember what treatment she offered. So she will remembering our disagreement, write that I don’t trust doctors and have refused treatment. Which is funny, as I was both there for treatment, and attending private treatment. She will paint a picture of an alcoholic drug abusing malcontent who does not want to get better. She will remark “They are not depressed, they just have sad eyes”.
Dr. Hanna-Mari Hilden’s nasty, claw-fingered bit of vengeful malpractice will follow me around now for the rest of my life. She will refuse to correct it properly. Though later Dr. Hanna-Mari Hilden and the clinic will write to say it was never intended for court and not a medical report, but a medical summary meant only for further treatment.
I will know how wrong this is because it will make my real psychiatrist so furious that he will pound a table demanding I do all I can do change it.
This summary will get falsely portrayed as a medical report by the Finnish Authorities used in court and used against me. By the defence and the judge. This is Finland.
Dr. Hanna-Mari Hilden is likely out there now, destroying lives and clawing along in malpractice against the weak and wounded.
Dr. Kirsti Ahmajarvi,
Dr. Kirsti Ahmajarvi, was brought in as the police doctor specialist. She is a general practitioner and should know better. However, I am told, the climate in Finland is that Finnish doctors don’t believe other doctors will either lie or make mistakes. In this way, Finnish doctors feel safe in pretending to be things they are not to avail of police report money.
Dr. Kirsti Ahmajarvi, the supposed psychiatric specialist, is in actuality, a general practitioner in charge of a public clinic whose only specialty is diabetic foot wounds.
Dr. Kirsti Ahmajarvi, who has never met me, will never speak to me. Dr. Kirsti Ahmajarvi will review Dr. Hanna-Mari Hilden’s 1/3 page summary and basically rewrite it more emphatically, agreeing, that in her specialist medical opinion that I did indeed refuse treatment and was all those other things.
Who knows how many court cases Dr. Kirsti Ahmajarvi has destroyed. Probably not as many as the lives she has ruined or damaged. Needless to say, I do not believe Dr. Kirsti Ahmajarvi should be practicing medicine and should, in my opinion, based on my experience and the effect it had on my life, probably be in prison for fraud or malpractice or both.
Now we’re getting into the meat of things
Tom Hedkrok:
What can I say about this man that I haven’t already said here and here. I mean besides being unable to keep simple record of the cases he was on. Or do any work. Or obey the rule of law. But that’s right, Tom Hedkrok was never going to do any work because Tom Hedkrok had already tried/lied? vigorously to his client that Pekka Ruokonen has never been an attorney.
Tom Hedkrok, who sat silently while Pekka Ruokonen made racist jokes about his client.
Tom Hedkrok, who opened his reply to a bar complaint by insulting me.
Tom Hedkrok, whose friends in the Finnish Bar Association picked up for him and covered his ass.
Tom Hedkrok, who lamely doxxed my medical report he refused to properly submit to court to the Bar Association. And displayed his true bigotry by limply waving it around as if to say this PTSD and ADHD is why my client’s opinion is worthless.
Such a corrupt shambles of a man, I cannot figure out whether he is totally corrupt or totally incompetent or both.
I’ll never know why Tom Hedkrok got weird about the Shamal Kedan Mohammed case, or if it had anything to do with Eversheds and the Finnish-Turkish Alliance. Though I am aware he seemed unable to price a case, as every attorney who saw his bill laughed incredulously at it.
Perhaps he belongs on that Olympic Committee.
If I compare the rules of the Finnish Bar Association with Tom Hedkrok’s conduct, I’d have to assume he should be disbarred. Friends in high places eh? Well, let’s hope his taxes are all in order. That seems to be the only way people like this ever get caught.
Then we have
Laura Rintamäki
Laura Rintamäki (of the illegally constructed flamenco school in the basement of Kirstinkatu 4E.)
It’s amazing a woman without morals is able to teach a dance as pure and passionate as Flamenco. Laura Rintamäki thought nothing of making false accusations of crimes and accusing others of her own belligerence and intimidation tactics. Laura Rintamäki will likely never get pulled up for the defamation as Helsinki Police don’t investigate these people.
I guess, considering the asbestos she was not informed of, maybe karma will kick in.
Ullemaria Hall
Ullemaria Hall, this charming bigot can be found about the internet saying horrible things about people who are not Finnish. Ullemaria Hall used to work for Ovenia, until she did not. Ullemaria Hall replaced Rami Nukki. Upon taking the job, Ullemaria Hall was instructed to demand all communication only happen in Finnish. This was against Ovenia company policy. She did it anyway.
When I filed a discrimination complaint against Ovenia, I was informed that Ullemaria Hall no longer worked for them and that they had parted ways with Asunto Oy Kristiinankatu n:o 4.
Abruptly after Ullemaria Hall formed a company with her daughter and took over management of Asunto Oy Kristiinankatu n:o 4.
I’m not saying Ullemaria Hall was fired due to her bigotry and willingness to break the law for Asunto Oy Kristiinankatu n:o 4. However when it came for her to reply to her discrimination complaint, she had to write to the Discrimination Board that as she and Ovenia had parted ways so she could form her own company. She no longer had access to any of her emails. She had emailed her old bosses to ask for them, but could not understand why they had not replied to her and figured they must just be very busy.
Mikko Koskensyrjä wrote most of her discrimination complaint reply for her. He spent a good deal of it referring to this article about Pekka Ruokonen mostly with exclamation points with circles around them for emphasis.
I’m not saying Ullemaria Hall got rewarded for her bigotry and loyalty by being given management of Asunto Oy Kristiinankatu n:o 4. But I have questions.
Jouko Räisänen
Jouko Räisänen attempted to force me to sign a false confession of crimes I was falsely accused of. Jouko Räisänen got physically aggressive, tugging my shoulder and shoving the paper into my face.
Here is Jouko Räisänen admitting the illegal Flamenco School causes disturbance, whilst being party to blocking private tests and bitterly fighting anyone saying it caused disturbance.
Saara Suojanen
Saara Suojanen tried the good cop routine whilst lacing her comments with nasty comments and threats. Here she is again, joking about how long the owners board is going to drag out the matter.
Saara Suojanen is currently not residing in Helsinki. With the rude Noora Uitto, she joined Jouko Räisänen, Mikko Koskensyrjä in dragging the matter out, refusing private tests and was complicit in the illegal construction of the illegal flamenco hall and whatever other attached health and safety issues might come with that.
Who knows what was really going on, was it some sort of complex shady something? Or were they just a motley collection of bigot nationalists who hated immigrants? It’s hard to say.
But here are board members discussing how difficult everything is for them.
Mikko Koskensyrjä,
What is there to say about Mikko Koskensyrjä, that I have not said here
or here
or here
Mikko Koskensyrjä, has 20 years of work experience in insurance and risk management. He has previously worked in Tapiola and Middle School. In addition to the insurance degree, Mikko's pocket has a diploma engineer's papers.
Mikko mainly serves our customers in the SME area and in Uusimaa, from his hometown in Helsinki. His leisure purpose is to promote comfort and security in housing-based housing.(directly from Google translate)
Mikko Koskensyrjä’s leisure purpose is to promote comfort and security in housing-based housing. Probably antique chairs too right? It seems like it’s going that way. Mikko Koskensyrjä’s leisure purpose is to promote comfort and security in housing-based housing, it’s almost as if Peter Cook got together with Python to write a character possibly up to no good.
Mikko Koskensryjä forced his way into a matter that should only have been between my landlord, Pekka Ruokonen and I. He would later admit this but continue doing it.
This is Mikko Koskensryjä telling the same repeated joke about how this one time he lived over a nightclub in Mexico.
Mikko Koskensryjä filed three false police complaints citing defamation about an article where his actual emails are quoted and his directed activities are described.
Later Mikko Koskensryjä will be party to penning a response to the discrimination board where Mikko Koskensryjä and the rest of the owners decide to formulate a big group lie.
This lie is that I am lying to the discrimination board and that I can speak and read Finnish almost fluently.
Considering Mikko Koskensryjä was aware I was stabbed in Finnish class. There is a particular twist of malice to this lie. Though I am unsure if it is a crime to get caught lying to the discrimination board to try and hide your discrimination. Just like I am unsure Mikko Koskensryjä, Saara Suojanen, Noora Uitto, Jouko Räisänen, will ever get rumbled for instructing Ullemaria Hall to only communicate in Finnish to obstruct matters with me further. Even though there exists emails of Ullemaria Hall stating she has been instructed only to communicate in Finnish. Which, as I have mentioned was against Colliers International, sorry, Ovenia company policy.
Why Mikko Koskensryjä would not let me get my deposit and later, the tenants rights protected % of rent returned as compensation for an uninhabitable dwelling, I do not know. Especially, as I have mentioned, Mikko Koskensryjä was not my landlord.
Mikko Koskensryjä’s favourite stalling tactic was to keep requesting the same sound diary. Again and again.
Mikko Koskensryjä with the owners board will be party to and lead repeated aggravated defamation against me to the residents in the 170 other apartments in Helsinginkatu 32.
The building owners board will admit this, Mikko Koskensryjä and co will continue with it at a meeting even after stating they will correct the letter they sent out giving my address as the criminal responsible for these things.
I will ask a scientist friend to comment professionally on Mikko Koskensryjä’s ability to test the safety of things that do not exist and to conduct complex building and construction safety tests without measurement equipment. The scientist will refuse as he cannot believe such a person exists.
Here’s Mikko cracking a joke about the coming pipe renovations.
Tanja Eranto,
“I’m a dancer myself you know”
Before Tanja Eranto moved in, my downstairs neighbour was Dani Öini. Before Dani Öini, it was a couple of Russian-Finns who used to come intermittently to the apartment and cook GHB. I mentioned this to the building board, but they didn’t seem interested. Even when they came looking for the source of the black mold in the apartment.
Black mold Tanja Eranto would later post about on twitter. She didn’t seem interested that it probably came from poorly cooked narcotics.An interesting feature of that apartment was the iron covered door, which had a second door behind it, and lots of bolts.
Dani Öini was on Finnish Big Brother, and I think famous for having sex on it.
He was a lovely guy plagued by the noise from the illegal flamenco school, and the singing school. Which, while I could hear the singing, it was not as bad as poor Dani Öini.
To the best of my knowledge Dani was forced to leave without his deposit.
This seems to be a favourite game of the owners board.
Tanja Eranto moved in next. When I went to warn her about the noise she remarked “I’m a dancer myself you know”.
Tanja Eranto appeared to spend much of her time in an apartment upstairs or elsewhere. Though she was kind enough to repeatedly tell the board of owners, that she experienced no noise or disturbance from the illegal flamenco school.
Funnily enough the building owners board will use Tanja Eranto as constant defence that there is no noise.
Tanja Eranto apparently owns and runs two businesses, she also used to work copy for a Helsinki newspaper.
One business appears not to exist beyond being registered. There is no record of the events company ever doing anything.
Tanja Eranto also runs a tourism company that provides guided weird walks around Helsinki. For a tourism company, which requires fairly constant social media presence and word of mouth. The company is dead on twitter, and largely dead on Facebook with few to no reviews.
On last inspection Tanja Eranto declares approximately 18,000 in tax a year, but appears to be registered to three or four properties
Shortly before the illegal Flamenco School stops, the vibration from the ventilation seems to get worse. But then it also appears to be emanating from her apartment. It is measurable. A friend requests access so we can measure near her window try and see if the vibration is coming from the ventilation. She will refuse access to her apartment.
Whatever it is, it is like torture and noticeable whenever someone is in the apartment. When it is particularly intense it causes discomfort, unease, agitation and long time exposure seems to cause palpitations, headaches and some form of hyperacusis.
Tanja Eranto will refuse all requests to turn whatever it is off and or access to test to see if it is from the ventilation.
It goes on for many months.
The police refuse to do anything.
They will refuse to visit to experience it.
Theories on the cause range from a Chinese Building Shaker device, or the motor for a grow operation.
After a police report, about a month later, Tanja Eranto will hurriedly move out, and it will stop.
This is not suspicious at all.
Pekka Ylikoski
Much of Pekka Ylikoski is detailed here
Maira Flygare & Pekka Ylikoski : - review of Justitum OY - Attorneys at Large
Maria Flygare
medium.com
Pekka Ylikoski is Salme Sandström’s cousin. I will be bullied and coerced into accepting him as representation when it is a clear conflict of interest.
Pekka Ylikoski will fail to report an aggravated drug offence.
Pekka Ylikoski lies to his client, and deliberately misleads his client into signing a contract he has deliberately not translated.
Maira Flygare
Much of Maria Flygare is detailed here
Maira Flygare & Pekka Ylikoski : - review of Justitum OY - Attorneys at Large
Maria Flygare
medium.com
Fired for lying to her client and malpractice. Found it amusing to insult her client. Turned a blind eye to Pekka Ylikoski’s actions.
Whilst representing me Maria Flygare would repeatedly accuse me of trying to scam an apartment out of the Finnish state.
Then we come to
Pekka Ruokonen
I have covered Pekka Ruokonen quite a few times.
Such as
And
Not forgetting Pekka Rukonen says no
And then of course we have the bit about him at the beginning of
And then there’s a bit about him here
There’s others, but let’s not forget
Pekka Ruokonen likes to joke he and all attorneys are crooks.
Curiously, Pekka Ruokonen follows international freight shipping location news on Facebook.
As I had an open lease, there was no legal reason for Pekka Ruokonen to deny me my deposit so I could leave.
But then there was no reason for Pekka Ruokonen to forward me this email conversation with attorney Jan-Anders Enegren.
There was also no reason for Pekka Ruokonen to repeatedly threaten to shoot me with a shotgun.
And there was also no reason for Pekka Ruokonen to take pictures of me getting dressed and then get violent when he was asked to delete them.
You could also say there was no reason for Pekka Ruokonen to refuse me rent receipts so I could leave his apartment. Unless you want to believe his reason, which was “this is what you get for talking back”.
Pekka Ruokonen is a liar, a crook, a bigot and a thief.
And he is being enabled by the right honourable Judge Petteri Plosila.
And respected Finnish divorce attorney Salme Sandström
Let’s not forget Salme Sandström’s credentials
Member of the Board of Attorneys Associations • Chairman of the Helsinki Bar Association • Finnish Bar Association, Member of the Bureau • Finnish Bar Association, Member of the Board• Member of the Board of the Lawyer , Chairman of the Board • Board Member of the Criminal Association Member of the Judicial Selection Board • Vice Chairman of the Finnish Law Society • Member of the Law Committee of the Finnish Bar Association• Chairman of the Family Law Working Group of the Finnish Bar Association • Member of the Finnish Bar Association’s family and inheritance law team (direct translation via The Google)
But then what does it matter if you know the Judge is working for you.
I will be informed by attorney Perttu Turku that
“considering the names of the people involved, it is unlikely you will win.”
Considering Judge Petteri Plosila is willing to rewind time on paper. Even breaking even seems near impossible.
It is now Day 8 of Hunger Strike in protest of the actions of Judge Petteri Plosila.
This will likely kill me.
But then, Judge Petteri Plosila will have to live with that.
Or, not, considering he appears to be a man of no morals or ethics.
Faced with endemic corruption and what is essentially the Finnish White Collar Mafia.
This last resort form of protest is my only choice.
Though I am aware it is one that is unlikely to be heard.
At the same time, dead is likely better than dealing with the morally bankrupt, racist and corrupt Judge Petteri Plosila and other members of the Finnish judicial system that protect Pekka Ruokonen.
Day 11: No food
Things have turned into chicken and sweet corn soup hallucinations.
It haunts the corners of my vision. The hunger headaches have largely dissipated. But the stomach and gut has come to replace them.
The palpitations come in harder bursts and I have had to drink some electrolytes to be able to finish some letter writing. I am done with most of the letters, a lot of time is spent lying down.
Day 14: No Food
I remember crisp sandwiches. Tayto. Although for some reason I think King crisps might have been better for those.
I saw poppadoms last night and it was a near tangible ecstasy. Although I had to involuntarily retreat to narcoleptic distance to be able to sit through the full meal.
I miss pea soup and sauerkraut. I didn’t even know I like sauerkraut.
Lentil stews haunt the corners of my vision.
I think a lot about soup.
I consider myself lucky to have been able to experience some pretty fancy soups over the years.
At this point, I’m just sort of waiting for my heart to pack in or palpitate off into nothing. Though I’m just hoping it happens while I am asleep.
I tried posting about this to Reddit, but I met the same response as before. Ethnic Finns gaslight, say you’re mentally unwell and work to get the posts banned or removed.
It’s the morning of the 15th day. Everything hurts.
Day 15 morning: No Food
I miss omelettes.
So fluffy, so good.
Remember gravy? I remember gravy. With finely chopped onions and mushrooms. Gravy was good. So were those jelly worms.
My hands are now, almost constantly cold. Which is odd, as they were usually, normally always warm. I’m dimly aware of this as it was one of the few features exes used to comment on.
One thing this exercise has taught me is which friends are understanding, which are not. The general reaction when I was faced with a landlord threatening to execute me was; run away, hide, you’re mentally ill.
Which is of course, very helpful.
You’d think you would not need the bathroom as much when you haven’t eaten anything in fifteen days. But it pops up irregularly. Strange foul caramel phantoms noted by their gassy wailing.
I miss som tam. But I try not to speak about it as I get momentarily emotional.
Emotions are weird with this much hunger. They come in waves and ebb back to total clarity. At this point of hunger strike, I veer between fury and hoping death comes quickly. But then I was pretty hot on the whole dying thing for the four years I was trying to escape the criminals in Finland.
I think about beaches a lot. And maybe that’s the end; drifting off from chapped and chawing lips daydreaming about a sunrise sunset you never saw by lapping rolling water you were never beside.
Day 16: No Food
Still pretty hot on the whole soup memories thing.
I had this soup in the science building Stalin gifted to Warsaw. It was French onion with, I think mozzarella through it, like silk sinews of some creature dissolved in golden black pepper drenched herb infused funion nectar.
Soups man. Soups are pretty fucking amazing.
Were. Were pretty amazing.
There is a passing remembrance of beans, butter and rice. Rosemary duck fat roast potatoes. Roast vegetables, wow, there’s a thing I miss. Particularly roast chilies, habanero pepper juice detonations of heat and endorphins. Particularly the raspberry echo flavour of the black ones.
I have been told by the Finns on Reddit that my legal cases are conspiracies and that I am mentally ill. Clearly anything negative about Finland must be a lie.
I get tired fast and it is getting harder to concentrate on things. I seem to get dehydrated in nearly the blink of an eye. When sleep does happen it is often disrupted by pain and palpitations. It often begins with a rush of anxiety at my heart or something giving up. Electrolyte solutions make normal water taste like plastic has been dissolved in it. Sparkling water helps this.
An internal coping mechanism seems to be making dreams more vivid. This could be some counter balance to do with the narcolepsy. It has definitely made the tiredness easier to navigate.
No more more coffee. A single cup has begun to feel like David Bowie dying in The Hunger.
The Finnish Justice chancellor has written a letter that tells me the actual translation of its decision will come sometime this month. Knowing how they purposefully drag their feet, this is likely set to come after the second June appeal date.
As expected it absolves everyone connected to the matter of any wrong doing. And why would they not turn a blind eye to their friends and colleagues within the Finnish Bar Association.
I do not know how long it will be before I am too confused to write.
Below is the consent to record the board meeting, offered here just in case.
You can support the struggle through this bigots and his wife’s fraud and death threats and the maybe asbestos poisoning and the rest, if you like, by buying Mooseville99 a ko fi or three or more ;)
Thank you for reading.
If you’d like to support legal fees, please donate.
