Blankets and Bleeding Hearts

During World War II, my grandmother and grandfather were prisoners inside a German labor camp for captured soldiers and staff of the Red Army. My grandpa was one of the lucky ones, in that since he had a college degree (in engineering mind you), he was pulled aside and granted…

Journey to the Infinite Part 4

At or around hour eleven of our journey I got a rough sort of feeling. I’m not sure if it was the liquid heart-squeezers (5-Hour energy drinks are a helluva drug) keeping me awake or the fact that I had consumed nothing but jerky for half a day, but either way, my body was…

My time as a Sex-Ed Teacher

So one night while I was working as a Summer RA for a youth camp comprised of about 300 middle-school aged girls and boys, I get this knock on my door. I open it to find my friend Ben with an exasperated look on his face. “Some kids are having sex. All the campers are talking…

Lost at Sea

When you look at one up close, you see unimaginable details in the iris. It’s a raw, living terrain of light and color through which another soul looks out from behind a veil of nerves and blood, brewing beneath like magma under the mantle. But these eyes, her eyes, burned as a tumultuous blue depth…

Canadians Abroad

I left the country for my honeymoon only a few days after the 2016 presidential election. My friend Matt sent in a congrats and fairwell:

Matt: Hey, congrats again and have a safe flight!

When The World Fell Apart

A lot of people think the worst day of your life is the day when you have to see a loved one or someone close to you die. But it’s not. It’s the next day. It’s when you realize that the sun has risen with the nightmare still playing out and you have to live in a world that’s been…

The Natural Laws

One time while I was out camping with my dad, I had gone to sleep early and my dad stayed up by the fire, drinking beer and staying warm. He soon noticed a raccoon nearby in the bushes, and being the resourceful man he was, decided to use his nearly empty beer can as a projectile to deter the…

Dear Santa

All I want for Christmas is a four-year coma.

Sincerely,

Nick

Gun control

The thing I don’t like about guns is that for them to be useful, you have to use bullets. You have to put in the extra effort to load the gun, which uses up valuable seconds and broadcasts your intentions in a crisis situation. This is why when confronted by danger, I just immediately hurl myself…

Too Few

If the multiverse theory is true I wonder in how many universes I might be flying around on a jetpack, solving crimes.