Money-Making Opportunities For Time Travelers — Influencing and Product Placement
Hey folks, it’s your old pal IG Agent 99 here with some valuable tips for you.
As you know one of the problems with being an inventor in the area of time travel is everything costs money, it costs money to get the electricity to power your inventions, it costs money to provide sufficient shielding against temporal radiation, it costs money to get dressed up right for the past in a way that won’t get arrested for indecency or even worse — witchcraft. Hell, just about everything costs money!
And in this chaotic world where everything costs, then you always have to be earning, every thing you do will have a cost, and every thing you do should have a revenue stream — that is just good time traveling.
And this is why we at Illuminati Ganga are excited to announce a new way that we can take your money to finance our research! And this time when I say “take” I mean you will pay us and get something of value back for the payment! Sounds good? Then let’s get started!
Via time travel your product can be promoted in environments that they have never reached before — The distant Past, the far future, alternate realities in which the world is far different than the one we know! That is the whole of our value proposition and I expect you will agree it is an amazing one.
Consider a simple camping cookware for boiling soup
Now imagine the world shattering news if your equipment was excavated from the newly found burial chamber of a Pharaoh!!
Imagine your competitors — no wait, I will have to describe this scenario in greater detail to fully reveal the ingenuity. This has actually happened, but professional discretion prevents revealing the companies involved. When I have fully explained the situation I trust you will have great respect for my discretion and be convinced that it is worth its weight in gold.
So now, imagine — a company releases a product, a great step forward in their industry. Naturally they are rewarded and being good businessmen they turn the profits they reap to good use, developing the next iteration of their product. Their competitors of course study the product and produce their own competing version — having learned from the first iteration of the product their competing product is superior to that first version but the initial mover in the space now releases their second iteration and it again beats all competition and is rewarded with even greater revenues! Because of a simple temporal priority and the rewards such priority often gives the initial mover in the space is able to beat their competition in perpetuity. But time travel is able to correct such unfair imbalances of power.
Just prior to the first release of the new product their competitor’s product is seen, it is carried around in public and observed by influential people to work better with of course the company’s branding on prominent display, the initial mover’s product is released but the public is already hungry for their competitor’s product, the superior product that has not yet been developed but soon will be. The initial product not receiving outsized rewards is not improved so much in its next iteration, and now the playing field is leveled!
A fair playing field, achieved by a judicious use of time travel.
Obviously one common usage of time travel is to deliver a product to yourself before you have developed it, thus saving a good deal of money in the development process. Although this sort of delivery is more expensive than other time travel services Illuminati Ganga offers I trust that a moment’s reflection will convince you of its worth.
Of course, I must underline, that we do not undertake delivery of products that were actually developed by your competitors to your past self, this is part of that aforementioned discretion, that signifies our own high and unshakable moral stance. Please contact us immediately if you wish to hear closer regarding our morality in such a situation.
But to reiterate, this can be a very expensive and incredibly remunerative operation.
But of course you can not just expose your products in the past but also in alternate timelines!
Consider your life, perhaps you always intended to be the maker of the world’s best sonic whip (as an example) but what if there was a time where that dream could have been sidelined and you instead became a professor of Aylwist Literature and lived in a small cottage behind the college of rainbows, but sometimes in correcting your students’ badly written poetry about milking humblebees you may look out your window wistfully, only to see a handsome circumspect traveler from parts unknown walking across the meadow carrying the best damn sonic whip in creation!
It is inspiration like that which can set the alternate you who never made a sonic whip in their life onto the track of full-scale production! The benefit of such a case is not readily apparent, but consider this: in business who can you trust? Obviously the only person you can trust is you in an alternate universe, you have no reason to screw you over, and thus it makes sense for you in Universe Deimos to take the lightgliding sneakers they have developed and send it to you to develop for your world, while you reciprocate with aeirium soda. In no time at all your companies in both universes will be among the biggest, why? Double the product research for half the budget!
Finally there is of course the benefits to derive from bringing your product and exposing it to the future — a record of the future’s reaction will be provided. This is most of use for products that are popular in our time, brought 20 years into the future the once popular and the natural workings of nostalgia will give a better psychological record of the swings in affection you can expect for your brand over the next generation. To get a similar benefit you would literally have to pay several people to scour all the journals and records of the next twenty years for any mention of your brand, and you still might miss some high points, really the recorded and nuanced response of the future to the presence of your project is far more beneficial than otherwise normal methods of research.
Now our brief survey of some of the exciting possibilities that time travel can offer your company and your products for growth is coming to an end, I hope you will consider carefully the prospects I offer and will be interested in seeking us out for beneficial business correspondence. All legal forms of tender accepted.
This article was written by IG Agent 99.
Previous Time Travel Logs and incidents related to IG Agent 99:
Narrative of a Paradox
The remnants of a corrupted log regarding a critical failure in the time stream.
The narrative of the after effects of a large scale temporal cataclysm averted.
Second part of the narrative, cleaning up after one has screwed up reality.
Restoring the corrupted logs from the recent temporal incident using Machine Learning!
Summarizing the events of the recent temporal incident.
Agent 99 also figures in a get together at the Illuminati Ganga offices where some agents attended a viewing of the beloved family classic from an alternate universe, Bartholomew — the football playing turkey.
And in the Dutch Schultz transmission of the Ayhua to Humanity, collected at death.
