Your Weekly Forking 6–1–18
Happy Forking Friday!
Necromancers’ Guild Condemns DHS Kidnapping Policies
by Frankie G.
Today, the Necromancers’ Guild Of The Hellbound (NGOTH) held a press conference in a refurbished cave beneath the intersection of two leylines in Washington, D.C., to criticize the “recent & horrifying revelations” that the US government has lost nearly 1500 migrant children.
Emergency Affirmations I Launched Into While Dancing At The Club At 4 AM
I am still wearing all my clothes, save for my bra.
I do not think I have been drugged, but I am open to that possibility.
Application for Feeling Like an Adult (Full-Time Unpaid Position)
by Jodi Tandet
Dear Hiring Committee:
As a lifelong human, I’m delighted to see your opening for a full-time position of Feeling Like an Adult, as advertised and vaguely described everywhere. The role was recommended to me by society.
Saturdays are for the boys!
by Gerard Edic
Saturdays are for the boys!
Saturdays are for getting drunk and rowdy!
Saturdays are for catching this one girl’s attention!
Saturdays are for leaving the boys hanging to talk to her!
No, That Was a Demonstrable Falsehood
I just wanted to address something with you. Because you’ve got me all wrong. You keep calling me a liar. But I’m anything but that.
I want you to know that to be a liar you have to have the intent to lie. And I never set out to lie so I can’t be a liar. I know you think the things I have said are technically untrue. But untruths are also not lies. So I can’t be a liar.
