“5 Pains to Use as Writing Inspiration”.
Exploit yourself
In retrospect, surviving abuse has given me a roadmap that isn’t just for me anymore. As an African woman, living in an African country, reading up on many ‘foreign’ manuals on abuse did shit all for me. Why? There was no way I could apply them in my circumstance.
- Call 911?
- Go to a shelter?
- Go no contact/low contact
- Apply for SNAP
- Call this suicide hotline
- Reach out to so and so.
We do not have those. In many areas, I needed to either reinvent some wheels or in some, bring the wheel. There was just a single choice: survive or drown in ways that no one I knew had done.
Why ever should this be the case when abuse is commonplace in my society? In the news, there is always something something on abuse. On our streets, we see it. In our homes, we experience it. In my society, you can separate a husband pummeling his wife on the road but that is often the extent of your help. Abuse is isolating for victims. We have a shame culture not for the abuser but the abused. Survivors are mocked and discredited if they ever spoke up. Basically, options on getting out of abuse is scarce because we do not acknowledge abuse so much. Abuse stories are for fun, gossips, shock values and entertainment.
As a writer, I see my superpower in exploiting my pain. I want to someone in abuse and has my background to know how to escape. I also want to nuke some footholds abuse has in my society.
Exploiting pain isn’t only for abuse survivors however. Here are 4 Pains to Exploit:
. Exploit Frustrations: The media tends to make martyrs out of rich and popular people, often focusing on their superficial actions and portraying them in a negative light. This frustrates me because I don’t understand why the media would want to promote hate towards these individuals. It seems like they have an insatiable appetite to both hate them and yet, they can’t stop talking about them. It’s almost as if they are addicted to the drama and negativity. Writing about this frustration will be therapeutic for me. Writing about your own frustrations will get it out of your system, connect you with someone who feels the same about that topic and also encourage others to write out their frustrations.
. Exploit weakness: Let me just tell you this- I used to be a good cry-baby. I used to be someone who constantly complained and sought attention without actually wanting to change. I would half-listen to others’ suggestions and just continue to whine, even if it meant having to repeat myself over and over again. I was a cry-baby and a wimp when it came to standing up for myself. However, now I’ve learned to recognize when I’m starting to fall back into that pattern and I actively shut it down. Confronting our weaknesses can be difficult, but writing about them can help us to better understand our own characters and deepen our work. What is your weakness, and how can you use it to improve your writing?
. Exploit your heartbreaks: If you’ve been cheated on, betrayed, or ghosted, it can be therapeutic to express your emotions through writing. One way to do this is to journal your feelings as they come to you, without worrying too much about language or accuracy. Let the words flow freely and capture the raw emotions as they wash through you. You can always edit and refine your writing later, but the initial outpouring of emotion is pure and unadulterated. This can be a powerful starting point for creating characters, storylines, or poems. So, when you’re feeling hurt or angry, try using your writing as an outlet for your emotions.
. Exploit your neighborhood grievances: Bullshit happens in neighborhoods all the time. Sometimes, there are neighbors who are difficult to get along with and it can be tempting to want to tell them off. A way to channel those frustrations is to write about them in a Medium article. You can make your difficult neighbor the subject of your writing and let your imagination run wild. Other people who have difficult neighbors will likely be able to relate to your writing and may even find it cathartic to read about someone else’s experiences.
Why Should You Exploit Your Pain?
- Give yourself power. Abuse took my dignity. Abuse took my voice. Abuse told my story. In telling my own story, I am taking back my dignity, and my voice and rewriting the abuser’s narrative.
- Connection. Abuse isolates and breaks up valuable relationships. Writing gives me a community.
- Empowers. Every day I feel some fear about the future but I keep moving. Face the fear every time you stare them down. Face the doubts every time you write them down.
Thank you for reading.
My name is Adaobi Okwy. Please turn on Email Notification for my next post. Also, Buy me coffee?
