Pop and Circumstance: My second stroke of med school.

I burst into tears. I had come to and come to the realization that I had not passed Step 2. I couldn’t graduate just yet. Why do I keep going? How am I still here? I had survived…TWICE. I apparently did it wrong the first time and didn’t…

An Ode to a daughter and a note to myself.

• @ @ “I am in awe of you. After living with you for some time I’m amazed how you did all you did one-handed, half of your vision, and with a drop foot. You lived alone with no help like this.”

A Remix with Black skin in a White Coat.

A Shakeup. Hold on

“I WANT MY LAWYER!!!!”My neighbor, a delusional man howled at 2 am. He began his delirium usually around dinner. Tonight it had gotten prolonged. The beeping of the vitals machine echoed down the…

Pop and Circumstance: Baby death

“Hey, Ashley!” NOOOOOOOOO I had been here too long. didn’t need to know other physical and occupational therapists but my own. They know my Dad. I need to be home. They want to get me back to 95%, but can I even do that? Is my neuroplasticity that good? Is it that…

Death’s door

Today Dad and I talked about trajectories. Something besides the strokes. I reminisce on when I was genuinely suicidal. Mental illness and mental anguish is nothing to be denied or dismissed. I had recently failed neuro anatomy at that time and was reconsidering discontinuing school after trying so hard and…

A Poor Pour: Other inner musings and external happenings

Below are 3 am excerpts of inner streams of consciousnesses.

I did something radical. I chose myself. I decided to prioritize myself before my career. I decided that I wasn’t going to kill myself getting to…

A Personal Pandemic

Pop

We. All have our journey. Mine popped up during a pivotal time in my life. It made my…

Aunt Betty

I departed the hospital this time in October 2021, feeling stronger yet silly. I had truly almost died for my education and thought nothing…

Dusk before dawn

Confirming bias

Build Back Better: Re-building a nervous system

As I read another account of an AVM stroke, I feel seen. The confusion, pain, and readiness to die were not unique to me. I related to her experience first hand. She felt trapped. She, the author, a neuroanatomist, had her stroke young and during…