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The news told through jokes. Not for the weak-of-heart or anyone with a high EQ. [SATIRE]
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California Unveils Plan To Replace Gas-Powered Cars With Carriages Pulled By Homeless People
California Unveils Plan To Replace Gas-Powered Cars With Carriages Pulled By Homeless People
SACRAMENTO, CA — Detailing what he called “a necessary and important shift away from our reliance on outdated methods of transportation,”…
Matt Shaver | Some News
Aug 25, 2022
Octopus Intelligent Enough To Know It Will Someday Be Overcooked
Octopus Intelligent Enough To Know It Will Someday Be Overcooked
SYDNEY — In a shocking new report published by the Foundation of Animal Sentience, researchers revealed that octopuses are intelligent…
Matt Shaver | Some News
Aug 10, 2022
Israel Promises Ceasefire Will Last Until Militant Group Changes Its Name
Israel Promises Ceasefire Will Last Until Militant Group Changes Its Name
GAZA/JERUSALEM — Ending yet another missile barrage that killed over 40 people, including 15 children, Israel promised that their most…
Matt Shaver | Some News
Aug 8, 2022
Report: 92% Of Americans Wish They Could Have Tasted Dinosaur Meat
Report: 92% Of Americans Wish They Could Have Tasted Dinosaur Meat
ANN ARBOR, MI — Reflecting the country’s surprisingly curious and carnivorous appetite, a new report published by the University of…
Matt Shaver | Some News
Jul 15, 2022
Hell Opens New Wing For Souls Who Fed Pigeons And Squirrels
Hell Opens New Wing For Souls Who Fed Pigeons And Squirrels
HELL — With the opening of Hell’s latest wing, Satan is realizing a long-held dream. People who feed pigeons, ducks, raccoons, and other…
Gabriel Skvor
Jul 14, 2022
EU Announces Travel Ban For Poor Americans
EU Announces Travel Ban For Poor Americans
BRUSSELS — Following news that the U.S. Dollar and Euro have reached price parity for the first time in 20 years, the EU announced a…
Matt Shaver | Some News
Jul 13, 2022
Amazon Introduces Neural Implant For Subconscious Shopping
Amazon Introduces Neural Implant For Subconscious Shopping
SEATTLE, WA — Speaking to a captivated audience at their recent product showcase, Amazon introduced a neural implant for subconscious…
Matt Shaver | Some News
Jul 12, 2022
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