8 Things Not to Do as an Expat
It’s important to know the “do's,” but what about the “don’ts”?
Some unspoken rules of expat life aren’t typically posted online. Hell, even the spoken ones. The most important is the things not to do as an expat.
As an expat you get to spend a lot of time in foreign countries. As long as you try it, you can learn a lot about the etiquette of where you are. It took me forever to understand that the etiquette for lining up in China is just to cut in front of everyone… Okay, admittedly, I’m still not used to that.
However, this list isn’t just about etiquette; this is about getting the experience that expat life offers. So I’ve compiled a list of 8 things NOT to do as an expat so you can save yourself from debilitating embarrassment.
1. Don’t only hang out with other expats.
A pretty easy-to-understand don’t is not only to spend time with other expats. Although it can be hard, it’s incredibly fruitful and worth making friends with the locals of whatever country you visit. One reason is that they can help you with numerous things along the way, but mainly because these friends can help enrich your understanding of the country you’re living in.
The best friends I’ve made in China are all local to Shandong province, where I live. They’ve shown me countless new foods and restaurants and even helped me in times of need, like the time I was elbowed in the jaw and bit a hole through my tongue, but I’ll expand on that another time.
2. Don’t only eat McDonald’s and KFC.
Going off of being introduced to all kinds of new foods, DON’T be the expat that only eats at western chain restaurants. This may seem an exaggeration, but I’ve seen numerous expats do this.
Why go to a foreign country if you won’t try the culture’s food? Once in a while, getting western food, sure, I do it too. But one of the best parts of expat life is the new food! Be sure not to limit yourself to Burger King.
3. Don’t stay in your house every single day.
I’ve covered the “Shut In” in my article “10 Types of Expats Abroad”, and my assessment is accurate. It’s understandable to want to be comfortable in your house, but being abroad is a once-in-a-lifetime experience!
Get out and see the country you’re in! Saving money? No problem! Go to the beach, the park, and free public events. There are tons of things you can do for FREE. So don’t shut yourself in; get out in the world!
4. Don’t look down on your local coworkers.
This should be obvious, but I’ve seen many expats be total assholes to their local coworkers. Treating the locals as lower than themselves, bragging about being paid more, and overall being massive tools.
Whatever job you’re doing probably wouldn’t work without them whatsoever. Respect them, be kind to them, and don’t be an ass. It’s extremely simple.
5. Don’t start fights with locals.
Another pretty simple thing to understand, fighting is bad. You shouldn’t fight anyone. But you, ESPECIALLY, should not fight locals. We are foreigners in a distant country, and most of the time, we don’t know the exact rules and how things work in these countries. Picking a fight with someone local to that country is a disastrous idea.
There are countless stories here in China where people, even in acts of defense, are hit the hardest by the law. I don’t want to go into too much detail about this, but trust me, it’s best to avoid confrontation. If someone gets physical, the best thing to do is get away from them instead of getting physical yourself.
Hence why, when I was punched in the face in Shanghai, I didn’t do anything in retaliation. Not because the guy had a good 60 pounds and six inches on me….
6. Don’t shit-talk your own country obsessively to locals.
This is a don’t that may not relate to all countries, but it’s something that I’ve experienced in China more often than not. Talking bad about your country to locals can come off in a certain way that they don’t appreciate.
In my experience, I’ve felt that talking about anything super political about transnational relations has ended up in awkward situations more often than not, so I tend to avoid those conversations like the plague. I suggest you do the same.
7. Don’t mix your personal life too much with your work life.
It’s relatively easy to mix your personal life with your work as an expat, as the people you work with are often the first people you meet in the country. But this can come with some major complications, as many expats are crazy. Yes, I said it. Especially about work, people will try to find any way to take your spot or get above you.
This isn’t always the case, but many language training centers and schools have pretty toxic environments, from my experience. Going out for a drink with your coworkers once in a while is great, but don’t get too invested or overshare. People can and possibly will use what they learn about you against you.
8. Don’t be afraid to say yes more often.
Once you get settled into your expat life, it’s super easy to fall into a grove you don’t want to change. Yet I advise that even when you don’t want to go out to that festival or event, try to say yes more often.
This is one thing I struggle with as I thoroughly enjoy being home. Recently there was a Coffee and Beer festival where I live, and all of my friends were going. I had a ton of work to do and just wanted to stay home, but I decided to go and have a wonderful time. Don’t get stuck in the motions of everyday life; try and experience new things even when you’ve become comfortable.
Don’t Don’t Listen to My Don’ts List
Seriously. You could be in trouble if you don’t listen to my don’ts list. Not really, though, minus the not fighting. Seriously listen to that.
All jokes aside, these are just a few things you can do to ensure you get the full experience you want for expat life.
Maybe you truly want to stay inside all day, and that’s up to you. I’m not going to tell you how to live your life. But going out and seeing new things is alluring to many expats, so trying to get out and say yes to everything can make a huge difference in your experience.
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