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The Foreigner Blog

The Foreigner Blog explores the comedic side of being an immigrant, children of immigrants, and diaspora. Our experiences are often clouded in dark and painful realities, but here we find the light and the levity. Welcome!

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  • I’m Not White But Sometimes I Crave a Plain, Flavorless Pasta Dish

    I’m Not White But Sometimes I Crave a Plain, Flavorless Pasta Dish

    I’m not white but sometimes I crave plain, flavorless pasta. By plain, even no olive oil. Garlic? Forget her.
    Go to the profile of Gigi Dhillon
    Gigi Dhillon
    Sep 20
    The Nerve! Immigrant Daughter Uses Vacation to Not Visit Parents

    The Nerve! Immigrant Daughter Uses Vacation to Not Visit Parents

    The entire city of Antwerp, Belgium, is outraged that Anita V., who now lives in Seattle, Washington, has chosen to make the 7,300-mile…
    Go to the profile of Valerie Benti
    Valerie Benti
    Sep 4
    Mother To Award First Born Son Medal of Honor for Showering Today

    Mother To Award First Born Son Medal of Honor for Showering Today

    Meanwhile, no one notices daughter earning a law degree while working two jobs…
    Go to the profile of Alexandra Ozeri
    Alexandra Ozeri
    May 31
    Immigrant mom delays BeReal to take it when she is cleaning

    Immigrant mom delays BeReal to take it when she is cleaning

    Okay, flex on them, mama. I bet these other moms don’t have Swiffer WetJets.
    Go to the profile of Arijana Ramic
    Arijana Ramic
    May 30
    Immigrant parents make up for emotional distance with excessively large dinner portions

    Immigrant parents make up for emotional distance with excessively large dinner portions

    Fill up.
    Go to the profile of Dawn Kofie
    Dawn Kofie
    May 18
    The Stages of Going Grocery Shopping With Your Mom

    The Stages of Going Grocery Shopping With Your Mom

    Oh, you thought you were only going to be visiting the produce section once on this trip? Do you also believe the Earth is flat? Grow up.
    Go to the profile of Humzah Shaikh
    Humzah Shaikh
    May 11
    Proud immigrant first in family to come to the USA and claim unemployment

    Proud immigrant first in family to come to the USA and claim unemployment

    Dreams do come true.
    Go to the profile of Mayur Chauhan
    Mayur Chauhan
    Apr 28
    The Culture Shock of Visiting a White Friend’s Home for Dinner

    The Culture Shock of Visiting a White Friend’s Home for Dinner

    A night I will never forget.
    Go to the profile of Humzah Shaikh
    Humzah Shaikh
    Mar 15
    What Immigrant Parents really mean when they say….

    What Immigrant Parents really mean when they say….

    “Tell me the truth, I won’t get mad” = This is a blatant lie.
    Go to the profile of Humzah Shaikh
    Humzah Shaikh
    Feb 23
    Happy fake birthday to all the immigrant parents out there!

    Happy fake birthday to all the immigrant parents out there!

    New Year’s Day is the start of new beginnings and when immigrant parents pretend they were born for paperwork reasons. We honor you but…
    Go to the profile of Arijana Ramic
    Arijana Ramic
    Jan 1
    In a twist of irony, immigrant parents are xenophobic

    In a twist of irony, immigrant parents are xenophobic

    “Yes, we’re not from here but we have a good reason to be here unlike other immigrants.”
    Go to the profile of Arijana Ramic
    Arijana Ramic
    Nov 6, 2022
    Immigrant shocked to find out this isn’t actually a “nation of immigrants” and there were a lot of…

    Immigrant shocked to find out this isn’t actually a “nation of immigrants” and there were a lot of…

    Anyways, this upcoming Indigenous People’s Day, pay it forward and pay their “rent” with the help of groups like Real Rent Duwamish.
    Go to the profile of Arijana Ramic
    Arijana Ramic
    Oct 6, 2022
    An update from the migrants Ron DeSantis sent to Martha’s Vineyard

    An update from the migrants Ron DeSantis sent to Martha’s Vineyard

    MARTHA’S VINEYARD, MA — Florida Governor and dude whose face always looks like he needs to poo, Ron DeSantis, recently took a break from…
    Go to the profile of Laruenickelson
    Laruenickelson
    Sep 18, 2022
    How Not to Introduce Your SO to Your Zimbabwean Parents

    How Not to Introduce Your SO to Your Zimbabwean Parents

    First, do not refer to them as your significant other. That term is meaningless and will lead to wild confusion.
    Go to the profile of Vongai Christine Mlambo
    Vongai Christine Mlambo
    Jun 13, 2022
    How Balkan parents say “I love you” instead of just saying the words

    How Balkan parents say “I love you” instead of just saying the words

    Are you hungry? I’m not but if I say no then the next question is “what’s wrong with you?”
    Go to the profile of Arijana Ramic
    Arijana Ramic
    May 19, 2022
    Unconditional love? Oh, you mean that thing American kids have?

    Unconditional love? Oh, you mean that thing American kids have?

    Go to the profile of Arijana Ramic
    Arijana Ramic
    May 12, 2022
    “I’m not yelling, that’s just how I talk” declares very loud and also kind of scary mom.

    “I’m not yelling, that’s just how I talk” declares very loud and also kind of scary mom.

    Go to the profile of Arijana Ramic
    Arijana Ramic
    May 5, 2022
    Ranking the apology bowl of fruit your mom cut up

    Ranking the apology bowl of fruit your mom cut up

    Is this a threat??
    Go to the profile of Arijana Ramic
    Arijana Ramic
    Apr 28, 2022
    Middle Children to Unionize Against Their Other Siblings

    Middle Children to Unionize Against Their Other Siblings

    PORTLAND, OR — As companies like Amazon are seeing groups successfully unionize, another group has joined in on the action. A rising group…
    Go to the profile of Arijana Ramic
    Arijana Ramic
    Apr 21, 2022
    Immigrant Mother Has No Idea What You Mean By ‘Team Will’ or ‘Team Chris.’ Says, “No Boys Allowed”

    Immigrant Mother Has No Idea What You Mean By ‘Team Will’ or ‘Team Chris.’ Says, “No Boys Allowed”

    Every corner of the internet is exploding over Sunday night’s news of Oscar winner Will Smith reportedly slapping comedian Chris Rock in…
    Go to the profile of Michelle Malka
    Michelle Malka
    Apr 4, 2022
    Quick Tips: What to Expect When Marrying Into A Southern African Family

    Quick Tips: What to Expect When Marrying Into A Southern African Family

    Congratulations! You found the love of your life and as an extra bonus they got a little Bantu spice!
    Go to the profile of Bongani Jeranyama
    Bongani Jeranyama
    Mar 24, 2022
    An Immigrant Mom’s Review of “Turning Red”

    An Immigrant Mom’s Review of “Turning Red”

    When I first saw the trailer for “Turning Red” I was actually excited to see how Disney would tackle the task of creating a movie about a…
    Go to the profile of Arijana Ramic
    Arijana Ramic
    Mar 17, 2022
    An Inside Look At The New Stroller Cart That Will Make Your Babushka The Envy Of The Neighborhood

    An Inside Look At The New Stroller Cart That Will Make Your Babushka The Envy Of The Neighborhood

    Introducing the new Quick Qart 3000™, a complete step up in the world of technological innovation. Your nonna would put out to get her…
    Go to the profile of Michelle Malka
    Michelle Malka
    Mar 4, 2022
    Woman Hopes This Is The Year Her Foreign Dad Will Finally Understand What It Is She Does Again For…

    Woman Hopes This Is The Year Her Foreign Dad Will Finally Understand What It Is She Does Again For…

    Go to the profile of Mhaya Polacco
    Mhaya Polacco
    Feb 15, 2022
    Things you can tell your family you’re sad about instead of telling them you just broke up with…

    Things you can tell your family you’re sad about instead of telling them you just broke up with…

    You miss your family back home (a classic — they are sure to fall for this one!)
    Go to the profile of Arijana Ramic
    Arijana Ramic
    Feb 9, 2022
    WOAH! Rebel child dating outside their culture. Parents say “you might as well be doing heroin”

    WOAH! Rebel child dating outside their culture. Parents say “you might as well be doing heroin”

    These kids are out of control. Living in America and dating Americans — this has gone too far!
    Go to the profile of Arijana Ramic
    Arijana Ramic
    Feb 2, 2022
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