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The Journal Post Times
The standard in satirical news. Satirical is how pretentious people say ‘funny.’
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Mage Hurdles Pile of Dead Horses at Finish Line to Win Kentucky Derby
Mage Hurdles Pile of Dead Horses at Finish Line to Win Kentucky Derby
Louisville, KY — After an unusually dangerous buildup to Derby Day that saw seven horses die, Mage was able to leap over the mound of…
Kyle Qualls
May 6, 2023
SpaceX Rebrands as Crematorium
SpaceX Rebrands as Crematorium
Hawthorne, CA — After their latest starship exploded minutes after launch, SpaceX has seamlessly pivoted their business model from space…
Kyle Qualls
Apr 20, 2023
ChatGPT-4 Capable of Giving You a Little Kiss
ChatGPT-4 Capable of Giving You a Little Kiss
Open AI has released ChatGPT-4, the latest version of their revolutionary chat bot, and it has some exciting new capabilities that older…
Kyle Qualls
Mar 18, 2023
George Santos Excited to Celebrate His Heritage During Black History Month
George Santos Excited to Celebrate His Heritage During Black History Month
Washington DC — Representative George Santos is looking forward to honoring his African-American heritage throughout Black History Month…
Kyle Qualls
Feb 1, 2023
Unarmed Black Man Being Killed by Black Police Officers is a Sign of Tremendous Progress, Say…
Unarmed Black Man Being Killed by Black Police Officers is a Sign of Tremendous Progress, Say…
Memphis, TN — Tyre Nichols, an unarmed Black man, being beaten to death by five Black police officers rather than racist white ones is a…
Kyle Qualls
Jan 31, 2023
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