CIA Agent, Death, Finally Nails Castro
After surviving more than six-hundred assassination attempts, Fidel Castro has finally been nailed by the CIA’s most elusive agent, Death.
“We finally got the fucker,” said current CIA Director, John Brennan. “And it’s about time, too. The bloke thought he was invincible by the end. It’s good that we finally succeeded.”
Official reports are that Fidel Castro died of old age, after being weakened by an intestinal ailment in 2006. In response to these statements, Director Brennan said, “Bullshit. It was all us.”
Many have celebrated the departure of the former dictator, while others mourn, but it comes at an especially critical time for the Agency’s image, especially after Agent Death was seemingly behind the collective demise of David Bowie, Alan Rickman and Prince this year.
“He’s a bit of a lone wolf,” said Director Brennan, when asked about Death. “But very reliable. He always gets there in the end.”
Matt Querzoli’s Adventures in Blokedom is the satirical publishing arm of The Quintessential Q. Follow his writing blog, his letters to strangers blog or his blog blog if you liked the post, or even the bloke himself if this tickled your proverbial pickle.
