Club Bouncer Actually Believes Patron When He Says He’s ‘Only Had A Couple’
According to reports, when real estate agent and weekend club aficionado Derrick Chesney told the bouncer at club Doof Doof in King’s Cross that he’d only had “a couple” of drinks, he was allowed straight in, without any follow up questioning or examination of pupils for chemically-induced dilation.
“I was scattered. Fried. Cooked. Sautéed. I was well outside of my mind. Beyond any reconcilable hope,” said Mr Chesney, after a recovery swim today in Bondi. “But the bouncer still let me in.”
Security photo footage also show that just after finishing his first drink in the venue, Mr Chesney threw up into the glass, poured it over his head, attempted to twerk and passed out below the DJ decks.
“What can I say?” said Mr Chesney while toweling off and leering at a women’s fitness group. “I fly so far under the radar I’d be perfect for a surprise nuclear strike.”
Club Doof Doof declined comment on this particular event, but would like to remind readers that they have fourteen bags of Colombian snow in their lost property.
Matt Querzoli’s Adventures in Blokedom is the satirical publishing arm of The Quintessential Q. Follow his writing blog, his letters to strangers blog or his blog blog if you liked the post, or even the bloke himself if this tickled your proverbial pickle.
