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The Toad
The Worst School Newspaper Since Sliced Bread
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Student Council Releases Updated List of Acceptable Opinions
This past Monday, our Dear Leaders in student council released the updated list of opinions that are considered acceptable. We have…
The Toad
May 14, 2015
Spring Fling Festivities This Year Just Bucket of Water Balloons, Pool Noodle
Spring Fling Festivities This Year Just Bucket of Water Balloons, Pool Noodle
This past Friday, students rushed out to the back field, eager to partake in the summer festivities, only to discover that this year’s…
The Toad
May 14, 2015
Student Hunger Strike To Protest SEL Reaches Day 40
Student Hunger Strike To Protest SEL Reaches Day 40
Tensions are high as the hunger strike started by a group of students in protest of Maret’s Social Emotional Learning program passes the 40…
The Toad
May 14, 2015
Everything Wrong With The Administration
Everything Wrong With The Administration
(PLEASE NOTE: THIS ARTICLE HAS BEEN EDITED FOR CONTENT)
The Toad
May 14, 2015
Overzealous Promposal Leaves 18 Dead, Trail of Destruction
Overzealous Promposal Leaves 18 Dead, Trail of Destruction
Early first period, six teams of ambulances were called in response to numerous injuries caused by local junior Kyle Thomson’ overzealous…
The Toad
May 14, 2015
School Board Adds “Exemplary Ass-Kisser” Award to Closing Ceremonies
School Board Adds “Exemplary Ass-Kisser” Award to Closing Ceremonies
Dean of students Lauren Williams announced this week that a new award would be added to the Closing Ceremonies Docket. The “Exemplary…
The Toad
May 14, 2015
Latest
Dean of Students Names Herself Student Council President
In a shocking election night result, Lauren Williams, dean of students, has elected herself student council President. Shane Cockman, the…
The Toad
May 14, 2015
Student Unsure Whether or Not Socially Acceptable to Make Jokes About People Who Identify as…
Student Unsure Whether or Not Socially Acceptable to Make Jokes About People Who Identify as…
Last Thursday at break, local student Dean Daniels questioned whether he would be applauded or reprimanded for a joke making fun of those…
The Toad
May 14, 2015
Meeting Being Held In Room Off Atrium
We’re excited to report that during Wednesday’s lunch period, a club held a meeting in a room off the atrium. The meeting was attended by…
The Toad
May 14, 2015
Couple In Senior Lounge Really Pushing It This Time
During last Tuesday’s lunch period, a couple in the senior lounge were really pushing the limits with their public displays of affection…
The Toad
May 14, 2015
Stupid Local Senior Told the Truth About How Long it Takes Him to Get to School.
Stupid Local Senior Told the Truth About How Long it Takes Him to Get to School.
Last Tuesday, in an act of complete foolishness, local senior Kenny Briar reported the actual time it took him to get to school. Briar was…
The Toad
May 14, 2015
Student Foolishly Believes Qualifications, Intelligence Enough To Win Student Election
This past Wednesday, local student Ned Harper announced he would be running for election in the upcoming student council race. Harper, a…
The Toad
May 14, 2015
Student Accepted Into Maret Based Solely on Academic Ability
In a mockery of the education system, a student has been admitted into Maret School who has nothing to offer to the athletic department…
The Toad
May 14, 2015
Booster Club to Erect Treehouse as New Meeting Place, No Girls Allowed They Say
Booster Club to Erect Treehouse as New Meeting Place, No Girls Allowed They Say
The local booster club has begun construction on a treehouse on the front field in an attempt to have a better system for regulating its…
The Toad
May 14, 2015
Teacher Goes Naked For Entirety of Class To See If Second Semester Seniors Notice
In a bold move Tuesday afternoon, local teacher Gerry Wilson decided to test how attentive his all-second-semester-senior class actually…
The Toad
May 14, 2015
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