My heart is aching in pain. Distracting myself, I tried to resist the negative emotions. I tried to push the pain away…
But then I realise, I was only running away from myself. These coping mechanisms are resistant by nature, because this is not acceptance of what is, of where I am now.
What happens if I open my heart completely to the emotions I was most afraid of feeling? What if in being numb to those feelings I am afraid of living? If I don’t let myself feel my emotions, including pain, I am not living.
So, instead of rejecting my negative emotions, I let myself melt into my pain. I explored my pain. I tried to understand the negative emotions — What were they trying to tell me? What do I need at this moment?
As I sank deeper into the emotions, I sat with them. I realise that I did not have to run away from them, or reject them. When I surrendered to such emotions, they just passed through me.
I’ve learned that I can embrace my negative emotions with love and care, and validate what my feelings were telling me. I realised that you can’t “be present” and accept what is by negating your negative emotions and only focusing on the positive. Because this is resistance to what is — what you are feeling right now. If you are denying negative emotions, you are denying a part of yourself.
How you feel this moment is what is to you right now. And by negating that, you are escaping your truth now.
“Your negative thoughts are a subjective perspective held by an aspect of yourself that is currently in pain.” Rather than pushing these thoughts away, embrace these thoughts, as your pain need your compassion and love.
When you face your negative emotions head on, it may seem like the dark tunnel never ends. But your negative emotions are valid — you will find the light at the end of the tunnel. Eventually, you will find relief and softness amidst your vulnerability.
It is through melting into your negative emotions and pain that you feel. You feel your softness, humanity and vulnerability in your heart. And when you stay with this softness, you will gradually surrender to what is.