How To Maintain Your Emotional and Psychological Wellbeing
My dentists hate me.
I brush my teeth twice a day, and yet, because I have the misfortune of owning naturally rough enamel, my teeth are extra vulnerable to cavities. So much so that a dental check up with, “ Looks great, there’s no cavities!” is celebration worthy.
It makes sense to practice good oral hygiene. You need teeth to eat, talk, smile (and flirt). That’s why from a young age, we learn to floss, brush and rinse, and every year we have a routine dental check ups — it increases your quality of living. In fact, we are so accustomed to our oral maintenance that, “ My teeth are in great shape. Guess I’ll just stop brushing my teeth from now on”, sounds ridiculous to think.
Why is it then that we put so much effort into our physical health and know that it will take constant work, and yet we know and do so little about mental health and emotional hygiene practices?
Imagine you just amputated your leg. You wouldn’t just sit on the couch while you’re bleeding out, open your laptops and say, “ Oh don’t worry, I’ll just suck it up. It’ll heal up by itself.”
Hell no, you would freak out about whether it’ll get worse, costs incurred, treatment, the recovery process, its implications on day to day life, your relationships and work productivity, and how it would change your identity.
Likewise, we should never brush off psychological wounds. Life is not cushy and we all have wounds and scars. As we venture though life we will be pulled, burdened, and strained. Some people collect more stress than others and some wounds are deeper than others. Some people are also more vulnerable than others due to upbringings, conditioning, cultures, personalities, genetics, life events, health conditions, age, gender, social class, or even geography. Without proper attention, the linkage of contributing factors can lead to the development of mental illnesses.
Psychological hygiene practices
Similar to taking care of your physical health, taking care of your psychological health requires awareness and diligence.
In an incredibly well constructed Ted Talk, psychologist, Guy Winch, describes how psychological injury arises from mental traumas caused by failure, rejection and especially chronic loneliness. We need to protect our self esteem and battle negative thoughts as a proactive measure to maintaining our psychological wellbeing!
Here are some emotional and psychological hygiene practices that I’ve learnt and find useful:
1. Be aware of your mental state.
Diets require you to track your consumption and weight, likewise, practice checking in with your mental state. Try journaling for 20 minutes a day to reflect on your emotions, thoughts and physical states. I personally try to journal frequently and spare time to practice meditation.
I’ve mentioned the Moodpath app before as a way you can track your mental and emotional state over 2 weeks. If you notice the occurrence of red flags, and abnormal states that run for at least 2 weeks, take a depression test and consider looking into treatment. Tuning in with yourself can help with the detection of mental illness.
2. Avoid rumination
The quality of your thoughts will determine the quality of your life. Being conscious of what runs through your mind can make the difference between beating yourself up and helping yourself get back up.
Journalling can help you track your thoughts. Personally, I struggle most with avoiding overthinking and I can be unaware of my thoughts until anxious or hopeless feelings kick in. I found deep breathing exercises and meditation is helpful for calming my thoughts when I’m struggling to manage them and they start spiralling out of control.
3. Keep your expectations realistic and practice self compassion
Practice being a friend to yourself. There’s enough critics in the world already.
Stay in regular contact with people you can trust and challenge toxic assumptions you hold about yourself and the world to help you keep your perspectives realistic.
4. Keep fit physically
Try to keep physically well because the mind and body are more interrelated than we think. I know without a doubt that my own depressive episode was triggered partially because of the development of physical health complications. The worse my physical health was, the worse my mental health got and they all fed into each other like a massive shit storm.
Try to maintain a good sleeping schedule, a balanced diet and regular exercise.
5. Make time for things that make you happy
7 Ways To Maximise Misery by GCP Grey demonstrates how easy making yourself miserable is.
Taking a leaf from Option B from Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant on building resilience and finding meaning through adversity, every now and then (especially when I’m feeling hopeless), I take time out to write down a list of things that I’ve done well. It can be as simple as “ I did the laundry today”. Acknowledging the small things I’ve accomplished helps me find positivity and progress.
Consciously schedule in activities that make you happy as well. Personally, I find joy in learning and teaching a new skill, and surrounding myself with good people and good vibes. Thus, I volunteer as a facilitator/teacher and I make opportunities to meet like minded people and catch up with friends.
Where To After?
A few people have asked me whether I still have depression or anxiety. Right now, no. I’m no longer stuck in a clinically diagnosed long-term depressive or anxious state. I’m grateful that treatment worked for me, my efforts to fight for myself paid off and I can enjoy my life again.
I still get hit by anxious feelings every now and then. Or at times, I get sucker punched by feelings and thoughts of hopeless. That’s normal though. Healthy humans are not apathetic or emotionally filtered creatures. Being healthy doesn’t mean never going through hard times or experiencing emotional problems. Pixar’s Inside Out makes an excellent point about the important functions of our full range of emotions, no matter how difficult it may be.
I’ll be honest, I fear that someday it might relapse again. I’ve had depressive episodes a few times in my life and the last depressive episode was the hardest one yet. I fear that the “ rock bottom” I’d experienced was a relative breeze compared to what the future holds for me. Relapse is something I know I am vulnerable towards and it’s an uncomfortable reality.
I try not to let me fears rule over me though because at the same time, I’m aware that I’m the best physically and psychologically equipped I have ever been in my life to go forward. Therapy and the adoption of a regular physical and psychological exercises has given me incredible comfort, security and confidence to navigate through uncertainty.
There’s no telling what will happen to any of us tomorrow. After all, the only thing that is constant in life is uncertainty. We don’t know what events may occur and how this may impact our physical or psychological health.
What we can do is to remain disciplined and to acknowledge that maintaining both healthier physical and psychological wellbeing is an active process. It will take effort. But as long as I put effort into it, I have faith in myself and that life will be pretty good.
