20. Daddy Pig — that’s you. Occasionally you’ll be upgraded to Wise Old Elf but most of the time you’ll be Daddy Pig

21. When you have a daughter you will become a feminist

Because What The F#%k?!

13. Why parents drive massive cars

It’s not about status

22. Nappies are good for more than sewage

They are your go-to crime scene cleaning tool

4. The further you are from your change bag, and the more intimate the setting, the more poo your baby will produce.

Aeroplanes are their specialty — maybe it’s the altitude

23. Shit happens

So many conversations about poo

17. They only cry until you leave

The day care drop-off can be heartbreaking.

14. Feed small mouthfuls often

Those chipmunk movies are actually training videos.

18. Green poo — too much foremilk

Your baby mumma is more exhausted than usual

16. Always be one meal ahead of the game

Preparation equals safety