Colin HeasleyinSlackjawWelcome To Your New Retail Job And Prepare To FIGHT!Adherence to these customer-service principles keeps our team fun, fashionable, and alive!·3 min read·Sep 18, 2019--1--1
Colin HeasleyinSlackjawIf Only There Were A Way To Predict Mass Murders Besides Listening To The Women Who Warned UsThank you all for being here today. We are, of course, deeply saddened by this recent tragedy and wish things could have gone differently.·3 min read·Aug 7, 2019--2--2
Colin HeasleyinSlackjawChapters From My Extremely True And Very Hardcore Series Of Wilderness Adventure NovelsWith only 500,000 miles to go, she pressed onward.4 min read·Apr 25, 2019--1--1
Colin HeasleyinSlackjawWhy We Can Fix The Economy By Flooding The Market With Remixes Of Kacey Musgraves’ Golden HourDance remixes to songs including ‘Lonely Weekend’ and ‘Rainbow’ will generate billions in revenue.3 min read·Apr 7, 2019----
Colin HeasleyinSlackjawI Was A High-Achieving Middle-Schooler And Now I Work In This Piss-Scented Cat CaféGreetings fellow intellectual! I see that you’re requesting the academic discount.·3 min read·Mar 20, 2019--2--2
Colin HeasleyinSlackjawClimate Change Projected To Drive Global Demand For FurbyAs the earth becomes increasingly uninhabitable, Furby has only become more and more interactive.3 min read·Jan 31, 2019--3--3
Colin HeasleyinSlackjawRules For Our Venue’s All-Inclusive, All-Night, Luxury New Year’s Eve PartyPlease join us at GARY’S FiDi for a night to remember as we close out the old year with a few hundred of our most dear acquaintances!3 min read·Dec 28, 2018----
Colin HeasleyinSlackjawComments Gay People Receive At Family Gatherings And What They Really Mean“Who’s your friend?” I am in denial.2 min read·Dec 17, 2018----
Colin HeasleyinSlackjawThings Not To Do At A Book SigningAsk the author to sign something random, like a 850 BCE Greek cremation urn or your offspring.·2 min read·Nov 5, 2018--5--5
Colin HeasleyDeadly Nightshade Is Actually Good For You, According To Me, The Medieval Healer Who Accidentally…It clears the skin, like absorbing the sun’s rays.2 min read·Oct 3, 2018----