My Pronouns: They/Them/Theirs

Orlando G. Bregman
4 min readNov 22, 2017

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Gender Binary System notes (part 5 of 7)

(Note: This article was originally published on Sept. 12 2016 as ‘Gender Binary System notes.’ It was written as a loose set of notes on the gender-binary as an exclusive system, and its’ limitations, rather than as a cohesive article or essay. I have broken the article up in 7 parts, with 7 different titles, for your reading convenience.)

Santa Monica, 1998

MY PRONOUNS: THEY/THEM/THEIRS

I have only since 2012 come out as gender nonconforming/trans-masculine, (yet at least partially aware of my gender identity since my childhood but not having any words for it then. I’ve been shopping for clothes in the boys/mens department exclusively since age 6.)

I have been openly lesbian since 1994, and was aware of this sexual orientation basically all my life, despite social disapproval.

(Gender non-binary, a term used often interchangeably with gender nonconforming, also doesn’t necessarily translate into neither man nor woman, as that could also be defined as a-gender, but is more of a combination between male/man and female/woman, just like bi-racial is strangely enough often dismissed as not belonging to any race at all, or not legitimately anyway, while it actually means belonging to two races simultaneously. If you think this comparison is strange, it actually applies, and I suffer from both misunderstandings, as I am both bi-racial and gender non-binary.

I personally prefer the term gender nonconforming to gender non-binary, even if the word nonconforming denotes a voluntary act, and being gender nonconforming is not a choice and in all likelyhood has to do with one’s hormonal distribution, having more, or less, of either estrogen/progesterone or testosterone/androgen, in comparison to most cis-women and cis-men. I just like the term nonconforming, as I am very nonconforming to society’s standards in many other ways as well.)

I’m maintaining my birth name and pronoun by choice, even if I have no choice, and though I’m definitely not offended by the “male” version of my name, Gabriel, and the pronoun he.

I do go by “they” as well, to publicly acknowledge my gender nonconformity, but my only physical “transition” has been shaving my head, started in 2013 and never stopping since. And I have always worn male clothes and male hairstyles, whether long or short hair, (according Western society standards anyway,) and have never in my life gone through any distinctly female stage. Yet I’m not in any way super masculine neither.

I’ve been “mistaken” for a guy plenty all my life either way though, so got plenty of time to get used to it, and it never truly bothered me, only made me very awkward when not understanding gender identities outside they binary myself. I got called “brother” and “sir” on two separate occasions today alone.

And for the record, I identify as female, despite my male gender. My pronouns are: They/Them/Theirs.

Los Angeles, 2016
Los Angeles, 2017
In Rotterdam, the Netherlands, Age 12 in 1985. With my best friend. (I’m the one with the knee patch.)

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Gender Binary System notes (2016) (Original Article in its’ Entirety)

THE ROOT CAUSE OF MISOGYNY, AND THE NECESSITY OF FREE WILL(Gender Binary System notes, part 1 of 7)

THE MALE AND FEMALE BRAIN, AND THE CAUSE OF TRANSGENDERISM (Gender Binary System notes, part 2 of 7)

THE REASONS I AM NOT TRANSITIONING (Gender Binary System notes, part 3 of 7)

HOW MY GENDER NONCONFORMING IDENTITY AFFECTED MY LEGAL IMMIGRATION STATUS (Gender Binary System notes, part 4 of 7)

MY PRONOUNS: THEY/THEM/THEIRS (Gender Binary System notes, part 5 of 7)

ON LOOKING ANDROGYNOUS THROUGHOUT MY YOUTH, WHILE ALSO BEING GENDER NONCONFORMING (Gender Binary System notes, part 6 of 7)

THE GENDER-BINARY SYSTEM WAS CREATED FOR POPULATION CONTROL AND SLAVERY, INCLUDING SEX SLAVERY (Gender Binary System notes, part 7 of 7)

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And please check out my other articles at medium.com/@gabriellabregman, on mainly LGBTQ- and Immigration Issues, and the State of Women and LGBTQ People in Film, and at medium.com/queerwomenfilmmakersmagazine , on Lesbian/Queer Film and Intersectional Feminism as well as Queer Female Sexuality and Gender Identity.

Click for Complete List of Articles (2016)

My name is Gabriella Bregman, I am a Hollywood-based writer, filmmaker, producer, currently in post-production of a feature documentary called ‘The Queer Case for Individual Rights,’ through my film production company ‘Bregman Films.’

You can find me mostly on Facebook for right now, (facebook.com/gabriellabregman,) where I also maintain a Facebook Group called ‘Queer Women Filmmakers and Writers - Los Angeles

In September of 2017 I founded a nonprofit organization, ‘Queer Women Filmmakers Magazine,’ a Media Site and Magazine Publication for Queer Women Filmmakers.

In early 2018 article submissions will be accepted for paid publication on the site and in the print version, (quarterly.)

The publication medium.com/queerwomenfilmmakersmagazine exists in conjunction with the Queer Women Filmmakers Magazine website queerwomenfilmmakersmagazine.org

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Orlando G. Bregman
Orlando G. Bregman

Written by Orlando G. Bregman

Essay Writer TRANS-MASCULINE IN HOLLYWOOD/Documentary Filmmaker F-1 DUTCH FILM STUDENT/Founder THE AUTEUR Film And Identity Publication & Film Org (2024) TM