Jeff Bender – Medium

Jeff Bender

he/him

Published in
Slackjaw

I’m A Dad — Isn’t It Hilarious How I Don’t Know Anything About My Kids?!

I can’t be bothered with things like “play dates” or “child rearing.”

2d ago

I’m A Dad — Isn’t It Hilarious How I Don’t Know Anything About My Kids?!

2d ago

Published in
Slackjaw

How To Win Family Game Night

Settle on a game that the fewest people know how to play. Make sure it’s also the longest and most complicated.

Sep 27

How To Win Family Game Night

Sep 27

It’s Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday — Time for a Romantic Fast!

You know what they say about the Catholic church: You may enter hungry, but you’ll leave hungry.

Feb 14

It’s Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday — Time for a Romantic Fast!

Feb 14

Published in
Slackjaw

My Friends: A Power Ranking

Why Howard needs to stay at #10.

Jan 22

My Friends: A Power Ranking

Jan 22

Published in
Slackjaw

15 Cocktail Pairings For The Body Of Christ

The spirits are willing but the rum is weak

May 5, 2023

15 Cocktail Pairings For The Body Of Christ

May 5, 2023

Published in
Slackjaw

Honest Lawn Signs Of White Suburbia

Anybody Passing My House Must Know the Following: I Drink Beer

Feb 4, 2023

Honest Lawn Signs Of White Suburbia

Feb 4, 2023

Published in
Slackjaw

The Best Yo-Yo Ma Jokes Of All Time

Yo-Yo Ma is so old. How old is he? Sixty-one.

Jun 11, 2022

The Best Yo-Yo Ma Jokes Of All Time

Jun 11, 2022

Published in
Slackjaw

No Big Deal, But I Noticed I’m Listed 5th Out Of 7 On Your Group Email

Nobody’s more relaxed about this than I am.

Feb 24, 2022

No Big Deal, But I Noticed I’m Listed 5th Out Of 7 On Your Group Email

Feb 24, 2022

Published in
Slackjaw

Eating An Apple In The Car Or Murdering a Guy?

When you behold that supple, skin-coated pulp riding shotgun next to you, you’ll forget all about your priors.

May 31, 2021

Eating An Apple In The Car Or Murdering a Guy?

May 31, 2021

Published in
Slackjaw

The 10 Commandments Of Rod Stewart

Thou shalt not kill, except in the 55–64 female demographic.

May 7, 2020

The 10 Commandments Of Rod Stewart

May 7, 2020

Jeff Bender

Jeff Bender

he/him

McSweeney’s, Electric Lit, The Hard Times, Fence, Points in Case, Guernica, The Iowa Review, Weekly Humorist. Senior Writer at Sports Riot. DSW VIP.

Following

Help
Status
About
Careers
Press
Blog
Privacy
Terms
Text to speech
Teams