Weeknotes #10 — This snowflake ain’t melting

Did the dragons in our den invest in weeknotes?

I said I’d complete my weeknotes first retrospective at #10. I’ve written more than normal so it’s prize(ish) time if you get to the end.

Show the thing: what are my weeknotes?

In #1 I said I cried alot (what an opener). I said I couldn’t write very much about my 9–5 work so would think out loud about other aspects.

A meet-up was my #2 focus where I decided that if I can’t write about my 9–5 I can focus on meetups/events. I started an ‘And finally…’ section as a means to close with a smile.

I struggled with #3. I’d read a lot of #metoo that week and found it difficult. Reading what I wrote seems a bit lame now though my attempt at answers reassures me that all isn’t lost. I still like the ‘and finally…’ from that week where Neil Tamplin reminds us to ‘strive to be less crap’.

I shared my thoughts about a Product Tank meeting in #4 and published (I’m proud of this one):

Why I talk but don’t talk about my mental health

More reflections on events I attended in #5 and how I continued to have lots of thoughts about activities to get involved in.

I like #6 as it shows tangible benefits of weeknotes. I’m now a legup.social mentor and getting involved in unmentoring.

Then I stopped. Life was busy in other ways so I didn’t write. I let it pass til I was ready for #7.

Did the dragons agree to weeknotes and to ‘be less Dorian Grey?’

My #7 talked about agile Sheffield’s Retrospective Dragon’s Den. As co-host I agreed to get the ball rolling and pitch weeknotes as a form of personal retrospective.

I said weeknotes aren’t about stashing your notes in the attic. They aren’t like Dorian — pretending everything is awesome and rushing headlong into the next product, idea or issue.

Weeknotes aren’t always easy and that’s kind of the point. They challenge my fear of being open though my nervousness at looking back at what I’ve written is less than my desire to share my thoughts and learn from others*. There’s a bit more detail in #7.

There were some nods in the crowd and some people agreed that writing makes you pause and reflect on what you’ve learnt, what you’ve seen, attended, failed at and succeeded in.

I failed.

Questions indicated that people were uncomfortable with the suggested level of openness. That my openness could take away someone else’s privacy or diminish trust between people.

Weekly? That’s too often.

Sharing ideas and failures? That’ll give competitors ideas. Potential future employers may not like that.

Exposing your fears? That’s not part of my organisation’s culture. That won’t be well received by my boss or my team.

I learnt.

I should have reinforced it’s about being as open as you feel comfortable. That it’s called weeknotes as the aim is to reflect and share regularly in smaller chunks. I should have remembered I’m privileged as I can be fairly open about some aspects of me — including my mental health. Not everyone has that.

Rather than publishing on the internet — people could start privately with colleagues or friends? Maybe the pitch could be simpler: write/talk and share as much or as little as you like? And share using a channel you feel comfortable with?

It’s not how often you weeknote but what you weeknote.

What else have I learnt from weeknotes?

I like the immediacy of weeknotes. I write them, re-read, tweak a bit then publish quickly.

Weeknotes have led me to find other people who in turn have passed the baton to others. That’s given me ideas about activities to start or get involved in. I hope they’ll become reality in 2018.

That weeknotes writers are a good crowd. I’ve found people who I can relate to, learn from and are canny enough(!) to say hi, respond to/leave comments or send me down a useful rabbit hole with items to read. Thank you.

I came to Medium to write about agile, digital and change. Maybe ‘cos I don’t write about my 9–5 I’ve barely covered that. I’m quite pleased with how I shoe-horned ‘agile’ into #joinin during #8 though.

I don’t write with enough humour or wit. I reckon (hope?!) I’m wittier and more sarcastic in real life and it’s difficult to portray that through the written word.

I've not been good enough at sharing what I've read and that feels wrong. Something to think about.

I keep thinking about the dragons’ comments about breaking confidences. Despite writing on here, I’m normally a really private person. I’d hate someone to not say something to me ‘cos they didn’t want it to appear in a weeknotes. Anyone else have those thoughts?

A spoonful of me still rings true, particularly ‘the act of typing slows, forms and completes my thoughts’.

I write about emotions a lot. That it’s OK to feel weak or ‘not OK’. I write about struggles, openness and issues.

I write that we should be inclusive and kind.

I share that I’m sensitive. I cry. I have weaknesses. I’ve failed.

I sometimes sound like a snowflake.

Well, if this snowflake can keep growing, why can’t I?

So what?

I also wipe any tears away. I learn. I’m bloody strong. I survived where others haven’t. I’m winning. I’ve never stopped working. I’m intelligent.

*gets on soapbox* Intelligence isn’t the same as hard working as I used to think. You don’t get an MBA Distinction whilst working full time just ‘by putting the hours in’. *gets off soapbox*

I’d simply like others to be strong, survive, able to apply their skills, knowledge and intelligence and to (this does sound a tad snowflake….) wipe away their tears.

So, despite my earlier misgivings, I’m gonna carry on with weeknotes:

1. I said I would at the agile Sheffield meetup (even after being the biggest loser on the night!)
2. Despite cringing at some of my words I do enjoy reading back through them.
3. And this, from @jukesie in his ‘Why of weeknotes’ which I’d preemptively spotted in #3:

‘The importance for me at least is increasingly about the cadence itself and being as open as possible. The themes week by week might change but the principles are there throughout hopefully’.

And finally, the winner of agile Sheffield’s Retrospective Dragon’s Den was……

Prize(ish) time

Ta for getting to the end. If you want to see all the retrospective pitches, here you go:

*I had another motive for pitching this. Weeknotes seem Southern England and public sector based and I wanted to get more northern folk involved. It hasn’t worked — yet.