A-Z of Emotions: E for Encumbered
Life has been good to me so far. I have managed to do things the way I want to. I pursued an Arts degree at university. That meant going against the grain of options for university majors for Indian children: doctors, engineers, lawyers or accountants. I have travelled to more than 30 countries, sung in a Mumford and Sons cover band and hung out with members of One Direction as a Sony intern. While these are not award-winning accomplishments, they are remarkable, especially considering I am a first generation Indian immigrant. The immigrant struggle is real for many families, including mine. I could have allowed any part of the struggle to encumber me from doing what I wanted. But, I didn’t. Before I lose you for being too self-involved, I would like to dedicate this post to the two crucial figures in my life who inspired my (un)encumbering attitude: my parents.
Uttam & Nanda : My Parents
My parents moved to Canada in 2001. My mom was in her mid 30s at the time. If I recall correctly, she wasn’t fully on board with the idea. In India, we had a great middle class life in a small town. I went to a posh private school, we had servants and we were the first family in town to buy a car. Life was comfortable. India was home, and the thought of uprooting our lives and starting all over in a new country with different culture understandably terrified her. But, she did it for the sake of our family.
We didn’t have any family or acquaintances in Canada. As a family, we had to start from scratch without any support: finding an apartment, finding jobs, figuring out public transportation, understanding the Canadian accent, and the list went on. Having to work a job was especially hard for my mom. Even though she had a university degree, my mom never had to work in India. Being a housewife was her first love, and single income households were common at that time. But, Canada was a different story. Because of no prior experience and lack of fluent English, she was limited to menial jobs with ungodly hours. Throw in harsh Canadian winters and having to use public transport to reach obscure parts of town, her life was awful.
My mom could have surrendered to the hellish life. But, she was determined to have a better life. The determination made her find time to attend English classes, on top of the exhaustion from the job and having to parent me. She would drop off countless resumes in malls, banks, and job fairs. She even attended courses to improve her typing skills for secretary and administrative positions. My mom wanted opportunities: better pay, better working conditions, and better work! After years of continued hustle, she got a job as a Pre-Board Screening Officer at the Toronto Pearson Intl Airport. The persistence had finally paid off. My mom didn’t let the situation encumber her from what she wanted : a better life for her and her family.
The immigrant struggle was real for my dad as well. He worked shifts at a factory that produced fireplaces. The job involved working around dangerous machinery, and the pay was dismal. I remember seeing cuts on his hands or fingers from minor accidents. The situation was an extreme contrast from our upper middle class life in India.Yet, he continued the hustle as well. For the next few years, he attended courses to prep for Engineer Certification exams after work. He wanted his old life back. After 5 years of exams and numerous interviews, he was finally hired as an Electrical Engineer at a government power facility with a six-figure salary. That is the payoff for his hard work and the ‘NO-quit’ attitude.
The relentless attitude of my parents did inspire me to be ambitious early on. Most graduates from my middle school were heading to the local high school. I wanted something better. As a result, I applied for high schools with special programs for music. For my audition, I had to sing a song in different genres like jazz, musical, etc. I had never sung in English before, let alone various genres. I could have surrendered. But, instead I was determined to find a solution. I sought out training from my school’s music teacher after school to prep me for the audition. The process wasn’t easy, but I had to persevere. The effort was worth it, as I got accepted to the best performance arts high schools in the Toronto area. If it wasn’t for my parents, I would have let the excuses be an encumberance.
‘You can do anything you want’
For many, you live by these words when you are young. It usually induces eye-rolling in your adult years. When it comes to parents, their immigrant success story is a living embodiment of the cheesy quote. Imagine having to start your life from scratch in your 30s and 40s in a new country. Imagine the distress of having to work shitty jobs to make ends meet, while you lead an upper class life back at home. Inspite of all of this, my parents never gave up and fought for a better future because that is what they wanted. I use their success story as an inspiration for not letting anything prevent from doing what I want. ‘You can do anything you want’ is not just a corny saying. It has become my life philosophy.
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