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Jane Austen’s Wastebasket
Humor inspired by literature, history, and life
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Welcome to Your Airbnb! Please Follow All These Rules Or Else I’ll Take Your Deposit.
Welcome to Your Airbnb! Please Follow All These Rules Or Else I’ll Take Your Deposit.
Ensure you are the perfect guest by reading through my meticulous guidelines.
CarolF
Aug 30
A Few Pointers for the Burglar Robbing My Home
A Few Pointers for the Burglar Robbing My Home
I don’t want you to waste your time or damage my property any more than you have to
Stephanie Redmond
Aug 29
ASAP Fables Online: Timely Parables Abbreviated for a Busy Age
ASAP Fables Online: Timely Parables Abbreviated for a Busy Age
No one’s got time for Aesop any more
Philip Heckman
Aug 28
Brat Girl Summer, or Burned-Out Parent Summer?
Brat Girl Summer, or Burned-Out Parent Summer?
You have never felt so hot
Anna Pook
Aug 27
The NATO Alphabet, Rebranded.
The NATO Alphabet, Rebranded.
Forget Whiskey. Try Wellbutrin.
Rachel Geman
Aug 27
The Obligatory Inspirational Speech In Every Sports Movie For Parallel Parking
The Obligatory Inspirational Speech In Every Sports Movie For Paral...
You’re not getting another parking ticket today.
Mayur Chauhan
Aug 26
The Rules of the Road, Based on My Experience as a Pedestrian
The Rules of the Road, Based on My Experience as a Pedestrian
“Under no circumstances, should a pedestrian cross a crosswalk.”
Amy Greenlee
Aug 23
New Apps Created for Fairy Tale Characters
New Apps Created for Fairy Tale Characters
Silicon Valley uses technology instead of magic to help users achieve their happy ending
Kyrie Gray
Aug 22
Unusual Ways to Make New Friends as an Adult
Unusual Ways to Make New Friends as an Adult
Finding lasting relationships is harder as you age, so it’s time to get creative
Kyrie Gray
Aug 21
A Distillation of the What You’ll Find in the New York Times Recipe Comments Section
A Distillation of the What You’ll Find in the New York Times Recipe...
It’s not about the food you cooked, but the people you met along the way
Thomas Pease
Aug 20
Steps to Take to Prepare for Your Upcoming Mammogram
Steps to Take to Prepare for Your Upcoming Mammogram
Do you have two cold baking sheets on hand?
Kate Brennan
Aug 19
15 Possible Reasons Women Go to the Bathroom in Groups
15 Possible Reasons Women Go to the Bathroom in Groups
“None of the reasons involve pooping, I swear.”
Kyrie Gray
Aug 16
Reasons Someone Might Choose to Sit Next to You on an Empty Train
Reasons Someone Might Choose to Sit Next to You on an Empty Train
Maybe they’re not just some creeper?
Stephanie Redmond
Aug 15
If The “Post Your Last Photo, No Cheating” Trend Were Honest
If The “Post Your Last Photo, No Cheating” Trend Were Honest
No one is going to show you their ugly truth when they can edit out their flaws
Laura-Liisa Klaas
Aug 14
Field Guide for Interacting with the Middle-Aged Step-Sibling Who Still Lives with Your Parents
Field Guide for Interacting with the Middle-Aged Step-Sibling Who S...
Do not break etiquette and verbalize the absurdity of the living situation
Caroline Horwitz
Aug 13
Get Ready to Run Like You’re a Half-Naked Girl in a Horror Movie
Get Ready to Run Like You’re a Half-Naked Girl in a Horror Movie
Discard your fear of failure and your bra!
Laura Berlinsky-Schine
Aug 12
An Open Letter to the Barista Serving Me a Paper Straw in a Plastic Cup
An Open Letter to the Barista Serving Me a Paper Straw in a Plastic...
Screw the turtles, save ME from your company’s hypocrisy
Ivana Klara
Aug 9
Discover How Polka Musicians, Gunslingers, and Other Niche Specialists Keep Their Edge
Discover How Polka Musicians, Gunslingers, and Other Niche Speciali...
You’ve got to make the scene if you want to stay keen
Mark Armstrong
Aug 8
I’m the Baby Carrot on Your Kid’s Plate, and I’m Just as Disgusted With Me as He Is
I’m the Baby Carrot on Your Kid’s Plate, and I’m Just as Disgusted ...
Please eat me and put me out of my misery
Lily Hirsch
Aug 7
As the Parents in this TV Series, We Have No Idea Where Our Children Are
As the Parents in this TV Series, We Have No Idea Where Our Childre...
We haven’t seen them since last Tuesday
Kate Brennan
Aug 6
I’m the Manager of That Specialty Store and Even I Don’t Know How We’re Still in Business
I’m the Manager of That Specialty Store and Even I Don’t Know How W...
It’s one of life’s great mysteries
Stephanie D. Rondeau
Aug 5
Fair Lady, Not All Knights are Bad
Fair Lady, Not All Knights are Bad
I’m just trying to save you from that tower you got yourself imprisoned in, so please stop shouting at me
Kyrie Gray
Aug 2
New Business Opportunity on Earth: Open a Church Today and Earn Big Returns Immediately!
New Business Opportunity on Earth: Open a Church Today and Earn Big...
Come work for the big guy
Aaron Chown
Aug 1
Does “The Owl and the Pussycat” by Edward Lear Support Our Community’s Values?
Does “The Owl and the Pussycat” by Edward Lear Support Our Communit...
Excerpts from my formal complaint to the school librarian
Gail Gauthier
Jul 12
BetterHelp Ads If They Were Honest About How Crappy It Is To Be A BetterHelp Therapist
BetterHelp Ads If They Were Honest About How Crappy It Is To Be A B...
Get 10% off your first month with promo code: NO PAID BENEFITS
Elizabeth Simone
Jul 11
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