#211 3M

When we decided to move from Dublin to Tallinn, Janne quickly found a job with the company 3M. I still recall the building and floor where they interviewed her which is on my way to work.

Once we both started working, we’d take the same route to work. I just had to ride the bus for a few…

#215 Widowhood effect

One week after Janne died, my Apple Watch showed me a message telling me that my nighttime heart rate was higher than the previous week. It suggested that I try to reduce stress in my life.

#209 Desigual

There is a Spanish brand of clothes that was Janne’s favorite. It’s called Desigual. The translation of this word is complex. It can be taken as inconsistent, unequal, even unfair, but that brand translates to uneven. Clothes are asymmetric and with funky designs. One half of a jacket is different from…

#218 July 20th

It’s easy to remember this day a year ago. Janne was already in the hospital. I had gotten into a routine to see her as often as possible. Two years ago, we knew already that there was something to worry about.

#210 Leave This Island

Have you ever been compelled?
Under a spell?
From a protagonist that knows you far too well?

#217 Blood

Janne couldn’t stand the sight of blood. It was just a mild case of hematophobia. She couldn’t even stand looking at my wide open eyes because of the blood vessels on the white part of the eye.

Daniel was daring since young. When he had just learned to walk, he’d love to climb…

#212 White Lies

Once I start, I can’t stop listening to White Lies’ music. The first song of their debut album it’s beautiful. Rock music starts, more melodic and happier than what I usually listen to. The singer is on a plane asking himself about how an airplane flies. He questions, “could there be love beneath…

#214 A once-in-a-lifetime chance

The boys and I were in Barcelona, a city that has been meaningful. Janne and I came together only once, and I was here a few more times on my own. For a time, I fantasized about moving here and even did an interview, but it was not to be (Dublin got us instead).

#216 Fountains

There is a primordial attraction towards fountains. I am not sure if it’s only us, but we can’t just go by one of them without making a stop to see it, touch it, figure out how it works. Fountains are life.

#219 Echoes in Blue

It turned to shit
On April 18th
You were home on the stairs
With an old cup of tea
And your head
Weighed heavy in your hands
All the trouble
With your sleeping
From the hall
I could hear you breathing
Restless
Under the blinding light