An Open Letter To The 36-Year-Old Who Destroyed The 29-Year-Old Millennial Who Ripped The 25-Year-Old Yelp Employee, From a 3,000 Year Old Mummy

Dear Sara Lynn Michener,

An Open Letter to the Person Who Destroyed the Person Who Ripped the Person Who Smashed the Person Who Crushed the Person Who Kicked the Crap Out of the Person Who Attacked the Yelp Employee Who Got Fired

My Open Letter is better than yours

Trust me, it is, I’m about to turn 43. The end.

How a 92-year-old slammed a 79-year-old who— oh, fuck it.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET’S MOVE THE FUCK FORWARD, PEOPLE.

AND, PLEASE, NOT WITH THAT 10 WAYS TO LIVE A HAPPY LIFE BULLSHIT.

An Open Letter To Our Office Thermostat

WHY.

Open Letters I’d Write

Open letter to Ryan Reynolds, stop being so fucking perfect (with a post script to George Clooney to actually start…