Your Weekly Forking 6–8–18
Something something, pickle pun.
A Co-dependent’s Guide: 5 for sure ways to get that guy/girl of your dreams to notice you (like I did with Tom Hanks)
by Haute Mess
It’s important to let the person of your desires know they have a special place in your heart. Follow these simple guidelines to help Tom Hanks, I mean that special someone, know how you feel about them:
Have You Heard the Good Word About Podcasts?
Hey, friend of mine — I happened to notice that, when we were in your car the other night, you were playing your Spotify playlist labeled “Get Them Honeys.” When I asked you about what you listen to when it’s just you, you said something about another playlist. Of music.
I apologize for my forwardness, but I cannot let this continue.
I Ditched my Rape Whistle and Started Carrying a Rabid Raccoon Instead
by Kyrie Gray
It’s really hard to live a fulfilling life if you don’t feel safe. And when I thought about how 1 in 4 women will be attacked while walking alone, I felt like I’d never be able to relax. I have night job. I’ve always felt uneasy with the trek back home at that hour. I realized my puny rape whistle was the cause of my distress. That shrill sound won’t scare away a rapist! I needed something more effective. This is why I’ve started carrying a rapid raccoon.
A Comprehensive List of Pet Peeves
I get annoyed a lot. Inside. I try not to let it show. But there are just some things in life that truly irk me to my soul. I don’t want to explode with verbal diarrhea when it happens in front of me so I thought it best to contain it to a useless Internet diatribe hashtagged as #satire.
But it’s not satire. This sh*t really p*sses me off.
