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The Craft Of Intimate Coupledom

Direct, honest discourse on relationships, love, sex, and life

Men want sex and women want love? Not exactly.

Men want sex and women want love? Not exactly.

Our use of technology hints at something surprising about men and women.

Mar 13, 2018

A Great Relationship Creates Security

A Great Relationship Creates Security

Not the other way around.

Oct 2

On Open Relationships and the Exclusivity Slider

On Open Relationships and the Exclusivity Slider

If you want security in your relationship, you better understand the distinction between security and monogamy.

Oct 18, 2014

The simplest math of how to touch a clitoris

The simplest math of how to touch a clitoris

(Hint: it’s similar to penis with one tiny difference.)

Apr 10, 2018

Stop Calling It A Communication Problem.

Stop Calling It A Communication Problem.

If you’re adults and speak the same language fluently then “communication” isn’t the issue.

Jan 18, 2020

Why I Stopped Using “Masculine” and “Feminine” (and What I Say Instead)

Why I Stopped Using “Masculine” and “Feminine” (and What I Say Inst...

In 2015 we set out to redefine healthy masculinity. Then I realized the word had problems that wouldn’t be resolved by a new definition.

Nov 12, 2018

Are You Enjoying This, Or Just Being Kind?

Are You Enjoying This, Or Just Being Kind?

Here’s the best way to be honest about your level of enthusiasm.

Dec 26, 2021

This Is Why Your Relationship Feels Like Work

This Is Why Your Relationship Feels Like Work

My wife and I were recently reflecting on how our relationship never feels like work. Even though it seems like we do a lot of the same…

Nov 16, 2021

Being monogamous with a non-monogamous partner

Being monogamous with a non-monogamous partner

It isn't a rule that couples have to have the same set of rules for each other. Here's an example of why, and how, it can work.

May 30, 2018

Envy/Desire — Jealousy Part 3

Envy/Desire — Jealousy Part 3

Relationship problems exacerbate jealousy. People getting everything they want tend to feel less jealous.

Jan 22, 2016

Mediocre sex is not an option.

Mediocre sex is not an option.

Long-term relationships are the ideal opportunity to have the best sex life you’ve ever had.

Jul 6, 2017

Emotional outsourcing doesn’t work in the long run, fellas.

Emotional outsourcing doesn’t work in the long run, fellas.

He’s a producer by nature. Results-oriented, focused, stoic or even brooding at times. She’s loving and nurturing by nature. She loves him…

Jun 20, 2017

Rational Vs. Emotional — Jealousy Part 2

Rational Vs. Emotional — Jealousy Part 2

Jealousy is a two-headed, green-eyed monster. It’s got an intellectual side and an emotional side.

Jan 20, 2016

My Graduation from Nice Guy Misogyny

My Graduation from Nice Guy Misogyny

(My changing definition of respecting women)

Nov 5, 2017

If you’re tortured by your own preferences you’re using them wrong.

If you’re tortured by your own preferences you’re using them wrong.

A few reminders to You, Creator of Everything.

Aug 23, 2016

Skillful Passion (a lesson in fighting)

Skillful Passion (a lesson in fighting)

If you fight, fight like a pro.

Jul 3, 2017

The Path from Desire to Fulfillment

The Path from Desire to Fulfillment

It's a cycle. Here are some of the places we can get stuck along the way.

Sep 26, 2014

Fucking is an advanced practice

Fucking is an advanced practice

In a recent Facebook Live I did on physical intimacy, I said “fucking is an advanced practice.” This comment drew a lot of questions.

Feb 28, 2018

Reframing “Masculine” and “Feminine”

Reframing “Masculine” and “Feminine”

Someone asked, “How does healing your own inner masculine attract healthy men into your life?”

Aug 27

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