Homepage
Open in app
Sign in
Get started
The Haven
A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk
About
Yay Books!
Haven Animation
Clem Samson
Archives
Write/Support
School
Follow
FUNNY STUFF
How Your Attempt To Succeed At Work May Be Holding You Back
How Your Attempt To Succeed At Work May Be Holding You Back
Once you’ve determined what’s going wrong, try these four techniques to fix your self-defeating habits
Maliha Noushin
Sep 1
What I Think When My Friends Don’t Text Me Back Immediately
What I Think When My Friends Don’t Text Me Back Immediately
Is it time to slide a DM?
Mayur Chauhan
Sep 1
Enter the Timeshare ScammyVerse
Enter the Timeshare ScammyVerse
Miami, Florida!
Leslie McLemore II
Sep 1
Where Do Our Pets Disappear To?
Where Do Our Pets Disappear To?
The Mysterious Case of Missing Pets
Mike G
Sep 1
Israeli, Hamas Officials Exhausted by Kamala Harris’ ‘Tireless’ Efforts toward Ceasefire, Plea for…
Israeli, Hamas Officials Exhausted by Kamala Harris’ ‘Tireless’ Efforts toward Ceasefire, Plea for…
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez claims Harris is working ‘tirelessly’ toward ceasefire
Mikhail Rezazadeh
Sep 1
Trump: “Hello Kitty is the only real kitty. Hello Kitty is pure white.”
Trump: “Hello Kitty is the only real kitty. Hello Kitty is pure white.”
dj drumpf is doubling down on his claim that rival nominee for Association of American Cats president, Katala Hair-Hiss, won’t pin down the…
Diane Randle
Aug 31
An Evil Man?
An Evil Man?
I met him in the chiropractor’s office.
Brian Dickens Barrabee
Aug 31
“Let’s Just Talk in Memes Forever and Never Ruin this”
“Let’s Just Talk in Memes Forever and Never Ruin this”
Actual quote from a Bumble match I never ended up meeting
John Corten
Aug 31
My Experience With Sexual Thoughts. How I Keep It At Bay.
My Experience With Sexual Thoughts. How I Keep It At Bay.
You will discover new information about my experiment.
Love Sarao
Aug 31
Wife away on biz trip. Now, I run the house MY way!!!
Wife away on biz trip. Now, I run the house MY way!!!
Time for some manly re-arranging to get this place back to guy-ness.
Matt Walsh
Aug 31
Customer Service Needed on Aisle 17!
Customer Service Needed on Aisle 17!
Assistance Required with Finding Ass Wipes
Allen R Smith
Aug 30
I Choose Elena Rybakina To Dog Sit For Me
I Choose Elena Rybakina To Dog Sit For Me
This was a very difficult decision, believe me.
Christine Stevens
Aug 30
Morning Wind
Morning Wind
An Ode To… Tushy Spritzing
Quentin Plume
Aug 30
Have You Heard The Phrase “When The Cat Is Away, The Mouse Will Play?”
Have You Heard The Phrase “When The Cat Is Away, The Mouse Will Play?”
Oh yeah, it happens at our house often…
Dr. E.R. Báez
Aug 30
Classical Female Characters Do a Paint and Sip
Classical Female Characters Do a Paint and Sip
Hester Prynne forgoes the wine, admitting she’s “already sinned enough for a lifetime.”
Ally Bush
Aug 30
My Sister Did a Shit In Our Shared Bath
My Sister Did a Shit In Our Shared Bath
Memories of a delightful childhood
Susie K 🐹 Guinea pig slave
Aug 30
Top Ways Our Dog Has Made My Life Better
Top Ways Our Dog Has Made My Life Better
He’s Like Our Third Kid, Only Nicer and Less Angsty.
David Volk
Aug 30
I’m The Underwear You Just Threw Away Because You’re Having Sex Again
I’m The Underwear You Just Threw Away Because You’re Having Sex Again
My hard-earned holes didn’t matter until today
John Corten
Aug 30
Breaking: Elmer Fudd Sentenced for Role in January 6 Insurrection
Breaking: Elmer Fudd Sentenced for Role in January 6 Insurrection
Former animation superstar Elmer Fudd was sentenced today to one year of house arrest for his actions on January 6, 2021, when he and a mob…
Rich Taylor
Aug 30
I Wrote about India, and the 355 Comments Weren’t Funny
I Wrote about India, and the 355 Comments Weren’t Funny
In case you missed it, I went to India, which wasn’t funny. I wrote about it, and many people didn’t find it humorous. The drama in the…
Pam Gaslow
Aug 30
Cute As…
Cute As…
I never expected to become a fashion icon. Does anyone? I’m the last possible candidate for such status.
John K Adams
Aug 30
The Tech Billionaire Morning Routine That Will Change Your Life Forever
The Tech Billionaire Morning Routine That Will Change Your Life Forever
Number three will blow your brain out of your ass and into a different dimension.
Joe Bee
Aug 30
J.D. Vance! Toilet Seat Covers! Male Drivers!
J.D. Vance! Toilet Seat Covers! Male Drivers!
What I learned from magazines this month
Roz Warren, Writing Coach
Aug 30
Preschooler’s Adorable Female Playmate to Stomp All Over His Heart in 22 Years; Reduce Him to…
Preschooler’s Adorable Female Playmate to Stomp All Over His Heart in 22 Years; Reduce Him to…
NORWALK, CT — Though he is yet unaware of it and the two won’t become romantically involved for almost 20 years, sources confirmed Tuesday…
Mark J. Shady
Aug 29
Man Gives His Girlfriend a Necklace — When She Opens It Two Years Later She Is Left Shaking
Man Gives His Girlfriend a Necklace — When She Opens It Two Years Later She Is Left Shaking
Click on this story and find out why!
Christine Stevens
Aug 29
Daily Itinerary of a Writer Stuck in a 9 to 5 Job
Daily Itinerary of a Writer Stuck in a 9 to 5 Job
#DreamIsFreeRentIsnt
Spurty
Aug 29
Tell Yourself I’m Not a Pumpkin Spice Latte — I’m a Summer Squash Latte
Tell Yourself I’m Not a Pumpkin Spice Latte — I’m a Summer Squash Latte
Stop complaining about my early arrival
Chelsea Resnick
Aug 29
The Little Doggo Spoke Up
The Little Doggo Spoke Up
How a lost little dog made his way home
EFHL
Aug 29
Want to Tell When Trump’s Lying? His Former Lawyer Reveals all…
Want to Tell When Trump’s Lying? His Former Lawyer Reveals all…
His hands have always got him into trouble.
Christopher Holdroyd
Aug 29
Being Marooned Doesn’t Have To Turn Gay
Being Marooned Doesn’t Have To Turn Gay
Keeping it straight when shipwrecked on an island with hot guys might just save your life.
Joe Bee
Aug 29
About The Haven
Latest Stories
Archive
About Medium
Terms
Privacy
Teams