Homepage
Open in app
Sign in
Get started
The Haven
A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk
About
Yay Books!
Haven Animation
Clem Samson
Archives
Write/Support
School
Follow
FUNNY STUFF
Latest News Does Not Bode Well For Trump- His Followers Find Out He Has ‘The Mark Of The Beast’ On…
An anonymous, blank envelope appeared in Stuart’s box while he was out at an emergency call at the Westline Hospital. There was nothing…
Roger Freed
Aug 9
How to Forgive Yourself for Quitting Your Childhood Gymnastics Class Whenever the Olympics Happens
How to Forgive Yourself for Quitting Your Childhood Gymnastics Class Whenever the Olympics Happens
If only you hadn’t switched to horseback riding, you could be in Paris right now
Rachel Marsh
Aug 9
Half-Witticisms of Elizabeth Emerald Volume 116
Half-Witticisms of Elizabeth Emerald Volume 116
Wise-ass comments of mine that garnered thousands of claps …(or will, as soon as I figure out how to self-applaud)
Elizabeth Emerald
Aug 9
I Made My Dog Instagram Famous Because I Am A Hideous Rat
I Made My Dog Instagram Famous Because I Am A Hideous Rat
A how-to guide on making your pet a cash cow when you have no talent or life skills
Ivana Klara
Aug 9
The Perfect Profile
The Perfect Profile
He joined a dating app and didn’t get a response
Brian Dickens Barrabee
Aug 8
New Blocker App Will Prevent Your Computer From Displaying Articles That Claim Alcohol Causes…
New Blocker App Will Prevent Your Computer From Displaying Articles That Claim Alcohol Causes…
Because these articles are seriously bumming us out.
Christine Stevens
Aug 8
Criterion To Release Zapruder Film In 4K Ultra HD
Criterion To Release Zapruder Film In 4K Ultra HD
NEW YORK, NY — Home-video distribution company The Criterion Collection is set to release the infamous film of the JFK assassination in…
S.L. Neechski
Aug 8
My Phone Is Like The Doll In “Chucky”
My Phone Is Like The Doll In “Chucky”
Like everyone on the planet Earth I have tried to look at my phone screen LESS.
Mike Player
Aug 8
The Uncomfortable Truth About Cheating in Happy Marriages (Can Happy Husbands Cheat?)
The Uncomfortable Truth About Cheating in Happy Marriages (Can Happy Husbands Cheat?)
Even if it makes you squirm — we need to talk about this.
Amey Deo
Aug 8
Is It Time To Concede Yet?
Is It Time To Concede Yet?
I’m Preparing My Election Concession Speech….Because You Just Never Know
David Volk
Aug 8
Things Will Get Back To Normal Once Donald Trump & Simone Biles Retire
Things Will Get Back To Normal Once Donald Trump & Simone Biles Retire
When you get rid of the best and the worst score, you then see the average, just like people.
Dan Dore
Aug 8
Half-Witticisms of Elizabeth Emerald Volume 115
Half-Witticisms of Elizabeth Emerald Volume 115
Wise-ass comments of mine that garnered thousands of claps …(or will, as soon as I figure out how to self-applaud)
Elizabeth Emerald
Aug 8
Theories About How Snoop Dogg Has Defied Physics, Attended Every Olympic Event so far
Theories About How Snoop Dogg Has Defied Physics, Attended Every Olympic Event so far
He has been seen at all 231 events
John Corten
Aug 8
I Love You But I Don’t Love Your Dogs
I Love You But I Don’t Love Your Dogs
They’re All Out To Get Me!
Richard Posner
Aug 8
Google’s Latest AI Ad Unveiled: “Farewell, Gampy” Replaces Pulled Disastrous “Dear Sydney” Olympic…
Google’s Latest AI Ad Unveiled: “Farewell, Gampy” Replaces Pulled Disastrous “Dear Sydney” Olympic…
Spot is Tech Giant’s Latest Attempt to “Normalize” Artificial Intelligence
Rich Taylor
Aug 8
Mary Oliver Quotes Reimagined As Sabrina Carpenter Nonsense Outros
Mary Oliver Quotes Reimagined As Sabrina Carpenter Nonsense Outros
That’s that me soft animal of my body
Erin A Ross
Aug 8
Mob Rules (Man Power)
Mob Rules (Man Power)
Picture goes wavy and we’re back in the past….
Fatchecker
Aug 8
Emotionless Sex
Emotionless Sex
It WASN’T interesting
Brian Dickens Barrabee
Aug 7
Reply All: Please Remove Me From This List
Reply All: Please Remove Me From This List
The dreaded neverending email chain
Jen Metcalf🍷
Aug 7
And Now For Our Next Trick
2025 Moves On To Screw Up Something Else.
David Volk
Aug 7
Does This Crunchwrap Supreme Represent Your Very Essence? Yes, Chef
Does This Crunchwrap Supreme Represent Your Very Essence? Yes, Chef
The night Gordon Ramsay revolutionized a Taco Bell kitchen
John Corten
Aug 7
I am Now Convinced Trump is White
I am Now Convinced Trump is White
But still a Nepo-hire.
Ross Rosenfeld
Aug 7
In-N-Out of the Womb
In-N-Out of the Womb
And Is He Ever Pissed About Being Born
Allen R Smith
Aug 6
Things I Won’t Do Again
Things I Won’t Do Again
Because I’m too old for this shit.
Catherine Durkin Robinson
Aug 6
The Deadly Season
The Deadly Season
Fuel injected flash fiction
Spyder Darling
Aug 6
“Come up With Better Trump Jokes — or This Could Be the End Of Us.”
“Come up With Better Trump Jokes — or This Could Be the End Of Us.”
Writers for late night comedians are told “it’s do or die time” with Trump
Speaking Fiction To Power
Aug 6
Side Boob Artistic Showcasing — The Hot New Discipline at the Olympics
Side Boob Artistic Showcasing — The Hot New Discipline at the Olympics
Inspired by the women’s track uniform …
Honorata Onanisma
Aug 6
Why Fascist Elmo Is Not a Cu*t
Why Fascist Elmo Is Not a Cu*t
Much as you might want to call him that
Mike Hickman
Aug 6
My Campaign Has Ended
My Campaign Has Ended
It’s All Over But The Counting
David Volk
Aug 6
Stormy Weather and It’s Raining Cats
Stormy Weather and It’s Raining Cats
My husband won’t shut up about it.
Carole Olsen
Aug 6
About The Haven
Latest Stories
Archive
About Medium
Terms
Privacy
Teams