Riverdale: It’s Bad Degrassi All Up in Here
Season 2, Episode 5
Greetings, folks, and welcome to The Queue’s official coverage of Riverdale season two. The fifth episode of season two had A+ acting from Lili Reinhart, the end of #Bughead (for the time being), and further proof that men are #trash, so let’s dive in.
If you’re still catching up on what this is and who I am and what Riverdale is, I suggest this post, this post, and this post.
And here are my other recaps thus far: Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4.
And obviously, spoilers follow, so don’t read ahead if you hate knowing shit.
Episode Overview in Haiku Form
Y’all know I dig a haiku:
Poor Betty Cooper,
Nick St. Clair, eat shit and die,
Bless the Pussycats.
The 5X5
This section breaks down the top five things you need to know from this episode:
- Betty went full-on Nancy Drew this episode trying to keep the Black Hood from murdering her sister at a farm some 200 miles away by separating herself from the people in her life. Riverdale is really into the whole “predatory person exploiting a minor” thing (ah, remember Geraldine Grundy?), and it’s getting very old (not to mention, it was always 100% unnecessary).
- Jughead decided to go full on Serpent and also made out with Toni and broke up with Betty and took care of a flea-infested dog. He’s just have a grand ol’ miserable time.
- Archie was the human equivalent of tofu. Thank God.
- Veronica had to entertain Nick St. Clair, a crusty ass motherfucker from her privileged New York life who then tried to date-rape Cheryl—but not before Josie and the Pussycats beat that son of a bitch up at a hotel called the Five Seasons (seriously).
- Alice Cooper showed up in a freakin’ fiery romper with a serpent-themed necklace after her “I was arrested when I was younger as a South Side Serpent but then didn’t have charges pressed against me” past was #exposed. The rest of the adults continue to suck.
Camila Mendes Eyebrows Update
Veronica going after goddamn Nick St. Clair? Oh those eyebrows, y’all. They were out for blood.
The Most Interesting Thing Archie Did in This Episode
To be honest, putting this section together this week was hard—and that’s a step in the right direction. Archie wasn’t really in this episode. He disbanded his lil’ Red Circle thing pretty much as soon as he started (but not before tertiary character Dilton Doiley got stabbed in the leg with a switchblade), and he’s magically back to normal.
The most interesting thing he did? Well, he played boring ass arm candy to Veronica during her initial attempts to entertain Nick St. Clair. Ah, Archie. Pretty wallpaper status is where you belong.
Artsy White Fuckboy Jughead Line of the Week
To be honest, Jughead didn’t really have any artsy white fuckboy moments in this episode except for that diner scene with Betty. And as you’ll learn in the “Analysis ’n’ Stuff” section, I fucking loved that diner scene between Bughead.
Pretentious Film Observation of the Week
I took exactly one film class in college during my freshman year and I’m trying to pretend I learned things from it that I still remember.
This episode had all the makings of an old school Degrassi episode:
- Gang initiations
- Date-rape drugs
- An attempted rape
- Predatory serial killers
- Cheating
- Pipe bombs
- Gigantic friend fights
Whew, I don’t know about you, but I’m tired.
So, my question is, is it a good thing or a bad thing that Riverdale has descended into the American equivalent of Degrassi? On the one hand, Degrassi was always entertaining, and it was supposed to create dialogue around real things teens were (and still are) dealing with.
But on the other hand, while the show was meant to revolve around discussing serious issues that affected teenagers, most of the plot was just as much about shock value. Riverdale doesn’t have that righteous “teach the youths!” goal in mind, plus it’s not even close to being as diverse. And as we saw from the epic fumbling of the Geraldine Grundy storyline from season one, the writers don’t really care if they completely misrepresent and misappropriate the problems at hand.
So, the “Degrassification” (if you will) of Riverdale? It’s not going to work out. And while I think this episode was loads better than episodes one through four combined, it was still missing that umph from the first season, where kids were outsmarting adults and solving serious problems while simultaneously dealing with their own petty high school drama. Riverdale’s first season was self-aware. The second season, now that it’s roughly one-quarter of the way through? Not so much.
Analysis ’n’ Stuff
This is the section where I give my random thoughts and track a few things throughout the series.
Josie and the Pussycats Beat Up an Fucking Predator
Lindy West just published a piece today about female anger and women being brave enough to be angry. And that’s also coming on the heels of a month of woman after woman speaking up about men who’ve sexually harassed and assaulted them, not to mention the day after women were the Simone Bileses and Katie Ledeckies of the 2017 American election cycle.
There’s nothing more cathartic than watching four women beat up an almost-date rapist to a pulp. And then we got to watch them help a friend when she realized what happened to her and told her none of it was her fault. To top it off, they supported her decision when she mentioned wanting to move forward with charges.
This Was a True Betty Episode
You know what I loved about this episode? If you’ve been following my posts, you can probably guess: Archie wasn’t the center of it. In fact, Archie got to be the voice of earnest reason during Betty’s spiral. That’s where Archiekins belongs: Trying to pull people back to center when they’re flying in all directions. Again I say, he’s best as tofu.
And speaking of Archie, I forgot how little we’ve actually seen Betty and Archie alone together since their kerfuffle during the first two episodes of the first season. That dynamic is one I found strangely refreshing, and to be honest, I would be down to see more of it.
Lili Reinhart really showed some acting chops in this episode. And no, I don’t just love her because she has a great name (if I do say so myself).
Speaking of my love forBetty in this episode…
That Betty and Jughead Diner Scene Though
I know all I do in these pieces is call Cole Sprouse (and his Riverdale counterpart Jughead) a fuckboy, but damn, that diner visit between Betty and Jughead only lasted a few minutes, but damn was it good.
I know Betty and Jughead are about to go through some rough times, and I’ll miss the Lili/Cole scenes. They do play off of each other well.
Ugh, the Toni and Jughead Kiss
I’ll reiterate what I’ve said previously: I like Toni as a character. I just think writers are vastly underutilizing her by making her simply a way-too-obvious Jughead love interest when she could be so much more than that.
And the fact that we know writers are forcing this pairing so hard makes the characters’ chemistry feel awkward in the process.
The Music Though
Harry Styles’ “Sign of the Times” played in the final montage of the episode, which seems really on point for a Gen Z drama. It’s what The Fray’s “How To Save A Life” is to literally every medical show on television.
Lulz, Where’s Kevin?
Ah, I see Kevin continues to be relegated to furniture now that he was given his single breakout episode. I’m sorry, Casey Cott.
