Many of Us Fantasize About Soccer Moms, Sugar Daddies, the Girl Next Door, Cougars and More. Why?
Some of our fantasies may come from places deep in our being.
Veronica Sully’s recent write-up, “Age-Gap Sex and Sexual Fantasies,” got me to thinking quite a bit about some of my own sexual turn-ons, fantasies and fetishes.
It caused me to think very honestly about certain aspects of my wife Lauren’s identity that turn me on and perhaps I may fetishize — such as her being a MILF, “soccer mom” and, yes, slut (note: Lauren embraces all three of those descriptors).
It made me consider how I may fetishize other women we sleep with through our lifestyle.
It also caused me to wonder if Lauren fetishizes me in any ways, such as when she calls me “daddy” during sex — and how she may fetishize other guys as well.
Let’s explore this…..
As a teen, I had older woman (cougar) fantasies
Veronica’s article immediately took me back to when I was 17 or 18 years-old (in the very early 1990s) and sexually fantasized about a next-door neighbor who was a divorced single mom and probably around 40 years-old. I think her name was Cary? She had short, blonde hair and a firm body. Even though she was more than twice my age, I found her extremely hot and sexually desired her.
There in her fenced-in backyard, she regularly sunbathed in her white bikini. From my bedroom, I sometimes had quite a view of her working on her tan. One day, I watched her remove her white bikini top and caught a glimpse of her ample breasts. Another day, I watched her swim topless in her pool.
I fantasized about her all the time and remember thinking through lots of different excuses for knocking on her door and maybe striking up a romance with her.
Even though at the time I had a girlfriend and was getting laid all the time, I often fantasized about my neighbor. When my girlfriend gave me blowjobs —almost a daily occurrence since she was constantly horny (which exhausted me at times, believe it or not ) — I often pretended she was the older woman next door. It was the same when we had sex; I pretended I was banging my neighbor.
Anyway, as much as I fantasized about the older woman, nothing ever happened. But, in hindsight, I can see that, at my age, it was a cougar fantasy. Though my neighbor was a mom, I think it was a cougar and not MILF (the term MILF hadn’t yet been coined) fantasy because I don’t remember ever basing my attraction on her being a mom. My attraction to her was based on her being a much older woman who was insanely hot.
Had she knocked on my door and asked me to fuck her, I wouldn’t have hesitated. To this day, I still sometimes think about her. I told Lauren all about how I wanted to bang my neighbor — a fantasy she found quite amusing.
Now I have a slutty wife fetish
In my 30s and 40s, the women I have found myself most attracted to and have most enjoyed fucking are MILFs, many of whom could be described as “soccer moms,” as well as hotwives and occasionally some much younger women looking to hook up with married couples (known as “unicorns”).
The vast majority of the couples we swing with are suburban, fairly affluent, parents and in the 30–45 age range (we’re in our late, late 40s, so we’re beyond the range, which is the topic of another post altogether). While most are Caucasian, our circles include some Asian and Black couples.
Most of the wives in our circles could be called “soccer moms.” All are MILFs. All of them have one thing in common: They’re sluts.
It is hard to put into words why soccer moms and MILFs who are sluts get me so hot — it could have to do with their maternal instincts, which I admit may introduce some fucked-up Freudian issues deep within my being.
When Lauren and I started swinging in 2009, most of the couples we hooked up with, like us, had little kids and the husbands and wives were in their early to mid-30s. The sex was great and that phase of our marriage moved Lauren into embracing her identity as a soccer mom/MILF slut.
All of the husbands in our circles joked that we were in a slutty wife and MILF trading club. And guess what? The wives did, too. The wives enjoyed being called sluts and MILFs and wanted to be traded between the husbands. They wanted to blow all of the husbands. They enjoyed swapping and group sex. They loved girl-girl action. And some of them, like Lauren, liked to be gang-banged. Seeing that slutty side of so many soccer moms and MILFs was incredibly exciting and sexy.
Those years either fed my fetish for soccer mom and MILF sluts, or perhaps I had those fetishes and was finally able to act on them. I honestly can’t say. Chicken or egg…..
As we approach our late, late 40s, having slept with now more than 200 married couples over the years, most of the husbands and wives we swing with still have kids in the house but some have sent their children off to college. Though the sex is better than ever, the MILF factor is still there but it’s wearing off. Now it’s just the “slutty wife” phenomenon.
Secret sluts
While there’s no doubt MILFs and soccer moms turn me on, perhaps what really gets me hot is if they’re secret sluts. Lauren, like many of the wives we sleep with, is a secret slut.
What’s a secret slut? She’s the wife and usually mother next door who, beneath the soccer mom exterior, likes to fuck and has a kinky streak. She might enjoy hotwifing or, in Lauren’s case, she enjoys swinging and polyamory.
Things my own bride does, most of them intentionally, that feed my slutty wife fetish include shaving her pussy bare, not wearing panties, having a closetful of whorish dresses that she wears to our clubs, enjoying getting her ass pounded, and, yep, being a happy member of our slutty wife trading club — through which there’s plenty of swapping, group sex, girl-girl fun and gang-bangs.
What about younger women…the girls next door that porn fetishizes?
Although I have no complaints about the number of slutty wives I get to bang — and Lauren is quite happy with the number of husbands and wives she gets to sleep with — this I will admit: Now in my late 40s, the desire I have to fuck much younger women, such as a hot chick who’s 25, can’t be ignored. How young would I go?
- 18? 100% no.
- 19? Tempting but a hard no.
- 20? Tempting….
- 21? Still quite tempting.
- 22? I wish….
- 23? If she’s really hot and sexual.
- 24? Oh, yeah.
- 25? Where and when?
Lauren and I actually fairly recently hooked up with a couple in their mid-20s and we’ve hooked up with them a few more times since. They’re a lot of fun but we’re always left feeling a tad bit guilty and used. We’re left knowing the husband digs Lauren because he has a MILF/cougar fetish (and maybe mommy issues) and the wife digs me because she probably has daddy issues.
We’re not always comfortable being the subject of fantasies and fetishes, if that makes sense. When the fantasy/fetish tables are turned on you, it feels way different.
Older women and men
But it’s not just younger couples. A few weeks ago, Lauren and I had a threesome with a divorced woman who’s 56 and amazingly sexual. She’s a CFO at a big company, which is another turn-on for me — executive women.
Last year, at age 48 at the time, Lauren got double-teamed by a husband who was in his late 50s and me. He didn’t say it, but he had to see Lauren as a hot, young thing, which turns her on.
Which just begs the point: age-gap sex is all relative.
“Oh yeah, Daddy”
As I’ve written about on here, Lauren has always called me “daddy” in bed. But her use of the term has nothing to do with her actual father. Rather, it’s a term she enjoys using to feel submissive. She’ll occasionally use “sir” but her go-to term is “daddy.”
Does “daddy” speak to any age-gap fantasies for her? Not really. She just enjoys feeling submissive and letting me have my way with her. It’s that desire in her that causes her to enjoy being spanked, whipped, ball-gagged, called “my bitch,” throat-fucked, objectified, and generally pounded like a whore.
Not to say Lauren doesn’t have a thing with age-gap fantasies. She enjoys occasionally being pounded by much younger men because it makes her feel just as sexy and hot as women their own age. She enjoys the feeling of being desired as a cougar and MILF, even as at times it’s not always comfortable being fetishized, as mentioned above.
How young would she go? For a blowjob…I bet she’d go as young as 19. To fuck her…25. If young guys are checking her out at our neighborhood pool and going home and jerking off to fantasies of her…she likes that.
Overall, she’s just really into being a slut.
Veronica sums it all up well when it comes to why we may fantasize about people way outside of our age range:
There is a notion that the sex will be better than what you are currently having if you stray from your typical partner demographic.
