Dan Dore – Medium

Dan Dore

Dan Dore
in
Backyard Church

Teachers Now Forced to Explain Adultery to 5-Year-Olds

“Don’t Raw Dog” Added to Kindergarten Lessons

2 min read1 day ago

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Teachers Now Forced to Explain Adultery to 5-Year-Olds

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Dan Dore
in
The Haven

Jesus Makes Multitudes of Hot Dogs For Joey Chestnut To Eat

Banned from eating on the 4th of July, Jesus shows his mercy to the competitive eater.

2 min readJun 14, 2024

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Jesus Makes Multitudes of Hot Dogs For Joey Chestnut To Eat

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Dan Dore
in
The Haven

Barabbas Walks Free Even After 34 Guilty Counts

Jesus gets thrown under the bus in the process.

2 min readJun 12, 2024

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Barabbas Walks Free Even After 34 Guilty Counts

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Dan Dore
in
Backyard Church

Preachers Pretending To Know The End Of Days When They Definitely Don’t

Misguided, unhinged religious dummies like to predict exactly when the world will end, when we know they have no clue.

3 min readJun 11, 2024

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Preachers Pretending To Know The End Of Days When They Definitely Don’t

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Dan Dore
in
Backyard Church

Jesus Declares to A Defiant Republican Base: “Lay Down Your AR-15s”

Conservatives abruptly leave Christianity, not wanting to follow someone who is unreasonable.

2 min readJun 5, 2024

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Jesus Declares to A Defiant Republican Base: “Lay Down Your AR-15s”

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Dan Dore
in
The Haven

The Greatest Story Ever Told: The Story You’re Subjected To Read Before Getting The Recipe

When you want to cook, but the author of the recipe wants to get attention.

2 min readJun 4, 2024

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The Greatest Story Ever Told: The Story You’re Subjected To Read Before Getting The Recipe

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Dan Dore
in
The Haven

Alabama Senator Offers To Track All Pregnant Women After Other Republican ‘Period Trackers’ Are…

Tracking women is a Republican thing. Period.

2 min readMay 22, 2024

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Alabama Senator Offers To Track All Pregnant Women After Other Republican ‘Period Trackers’ Are…

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Dan Dore
in
The Haven

Movie Sales Slumping Due To Lack Of Built-In Bathroom Breaks

Change in attention-spans and bladder urgency affect the landscape of movie-going

2 min readMay 12, 2024

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Movie Sales Slumping Due To Lack Of Built-In Bathroom Breaks

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Dan Dore
in
The Haven

Can the new religion you choose feed the multitude of cravings you have?

Picking the right deity based on dieting.

2 min readMay 9, 2024

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Can the new religion you choose feed the multitude of cravings you have?

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Dan Dore
in
The Haven

I Had The Time Of My Life Realizing Dirty Dancing Is A Sci-Fi Movie

How does Johnny know this futuristic song at the final dance?

3 min readApr 25, 2024

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I Had The Time Of My Life Realizing Dirty Dancing Is A Sci-Fi Movie

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Dan Dore

Dan Dore

Studied/Performed at: The Second City, iO Chicago, The Annoyance, The Pack (LA), ComedySportz. Masters in Creativity (SUNY Buffalo State). Bachelors in Comm.

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