Dan DoreinThe HavenHistory Was Made By How Much The Announcers At The Olympics Said History Was Being MadeWitnessing history didn’t feel as historical as you would think, but it’s still history.Aug 133Aug 133
Dan DoreinThe HavenThings Will Get Back To Normal Once Donald Trump & Simone Biles RetireWhen you get rid of the best and the worst score, you then see the average, just like people.Aug 8Aug 8
Dan DoreinThe HavenChristians Angry At Dionysus For His Party Looking Too Much Like The Last SupperGreek Gods have always partied hard.Jul 303Jul 303
Dan DoreinThe HavenHow I Drank Two Diet Mountain Dews and Almost Joined The KKKRe-evaluating your life’s decisions, after watching the Republican Party speak.Jul 271Jul 271
Dan DoreinThe HavenHawk Tuah-Mania: Everyone’s Spittin’ On CocksThe internet finally does something helpful to advance sex-positivity.Jun 27Jun 27
Dan DoreinMuddyUmThe Roommate Moved Out And Now Is The Time To Rename Your Wi-Fi What You WantThe once in a generation chance to be funny with all your neighborsJun 262Jun 262
Dan DoreinNew Writers WelcomeThe Dangers of Being Cool and Playing Credit Card RouletteThe peer-pressure game to pay for everyone else’s meal.Jun 25Jun 25
Dan DoreinBackyard ChurchTeachers Now Forced to Explain Adultery to 5-Year-Olds“Don’t Raw Dog” Added to Kindergarten LessonsJun 232Jun 232
Dan DoreinThe HavenJesus Makes Multitudes of Hot Dogs For Joey Chestnut To EatBanned from eating on the 4th of July, Jesus shows his mercy to the competitive eater.Jun 141Jun 141
Dan DoreinThe HavenBarabbas Walks Free Even After 34 Guilty CountsJesus gets thrown under the bus in the process.Jun 121Jun 121