Climb the fire escape, disable the alarm on the third floor window, and wiggle your way in. You’ve arrived!

Thanks so much for booking with me! This city is a true hidden gem, with a colorful history that includes a recent surge of unauthorized short-term rentals — a history that you now get to be a part of! …


10 Years Gone Since We Bought These Scanners That Keep Jamming by Led Zeppelin

November Rain (Soaking Everyone’s Ballots And Making The Scanners Jam) by Guns N’ Roses

It Takes Two Hands To Feed Your Ballot To The Scanner, Why Would You Only Use One? You Broke It! …


For brows that aren’t twins or even sisters

The old beauty adage says, “Your eyebrows aren’t twins — they’re sisters!” This is quite the oversimplification. Eyebrows can be so many things! They can also be nothing, like if you left a depilatory on for too long because you completely lost track of time while doing a Google Image…


Is that blood? Or… blood?

This is going to be a great day! I’ll bombard my body with caffeine, and then I’ll get some serious writing done.

It’s taking a long time for them to make my drink.

Ugh, if I have to hear this barista call out for “Steven” one more time…

LET’S GO…


Celebrating the six-month anniversary of a simpler time with helpful flashcards

“This is how I see it so far. This is to help all the people at home. What’s the CONCLUSION? COLLUSION? No — we don’t have that yet. I see ILLUSION and DELUSION. So, just so we’re clear everyone…


“How do you solve a problem like Maria?”

Look, Hurricane Maria brought an incredible amount of rain, spectacular levels of flooding, left 16 people for dead, and will go down in history as the greatest achievement of any president!

I know there’s a little damage to repair. The island is flooded with nasty water, though not quite as…


They say you get what you give, but I wanted to double-check

I spent much of last year thinking about posting on Medium, but I was new to the game and not so sure about the whole thing. I was suspicious. What’s this newfangled technology?


I never forgot it — no matter how hard I tried.

I was 19 years old, home from college for the summer, and helping out at my family’s coin shop, as all teens do (Hold on — does your family not have a coin shop? That’s weird).

One afternoon, an elderly man entered, and he ambled over to a showcase filled…


An exclusive look at my first novel

Since I was five years old, I’ve had dreams of being a published author. I’ll admit, there was a time when I got distracted by another dream. The year 1995 brought the movie Free Willy 2. This cinematic masterpiece left my head filled with fantasies of marine biology and my…

Danielle Kraese

My best writing is trapped on a Storybook Weaver CD-ROM that will only run with Windows 95. https://daniellekraese.com/

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