Evan Allgood – Medium

Evan Allgood

Evan Allgood

Battle of the Blurbs

[Editor’s Note: To promote her experimental debut novel, Our Proprietary Furies, author M.T. Wells enlisted two of America’s most prominent…

Jun 19, 2023

Battle of the Blurbs

Jun 19, 2023

Evan Allgood

Third Eye Blind Finalizes the Lyrics to “I Want You”

There will be no regrets when the worms come,

Jan 16, 2019

Third Eye Blind Finalizes the Lyrics to “I Want You”

Jan 16, 2019

Evan Allgood
in
Slackjaw

Welcome to Our Website, Which Is but a Husk of Our App

Pardon the wait; we don’t get many visitors to the website these days. Most folks head on over to the app, seeing how it’s a utopia.

Oct 11, 2018

Welcome to Our Website, Which Is but a Husk of Our App

Oct 11, 2018

Evan Allgood

Donald Trump’s Spellbook

~Dedicated to Dungeons & Donalds~

Jul 31, 2018

Donald Trump’s Spellbook

Jul 31, 2018

Evan Allgood
in
Slackjaw

Democratic Leaders Revise Ocasio-Cortez's Platform

Remember that to win a general election, one must engage the broadest possible swath of geriatric white people.

Jul 13, 2018

Democratic Leaders Revise Ocasio-Cortez's Platform

Jul 13, 2018

Evan Allgood
in
Slackjaw

Rules for Using Cast-Iron Cookware

Congratulations on acquiring your first piece of cast-iron cookware, presumably as a wedding gift or in a drunken two a.m. Amazon spree.

Jun 25, 2018

Rules for Using Cast-Iron Cookware

Jun 25, 2018

Evan Allgood
in
Slackjaw

I'm Creating a Special Task Force to Study the Dog in Our Bed Crisis

You win, honey. I have read the dozens of adverse event reports you keep texting me, and I hear you.

May 22, 2018

I'm Creating a Special Task Force to Study the Dog in Our Bed Crisis

May 22, 2018

Evan Allgood

8 Simple Ways to Optimize Your Brood

So you want to be sad in a sexy way? Join the club.

Apr 11, 2018

8 Simple Ways to Optimize Your Brood

Apr 11, 2018

Evan Allgood
in
Slackjaw

Hope Flips

“Exiting Trump officials get tepid response on job market” — The Hill headline

Mar 30, 2018

Hope Flips

Mar 30, 2018

Evan Allgood
in
Slackjaw

I Am a Comedian Who’s Bombing and That Is On You, the Audience

It’s now painfully clear that you, comedy show attendees, just don’t want to laugh.

Mar 21, 2018

I Am a Comedian Who’s Bombing and That Is On You, the Audience

Mar 21, 2018

Evan Allgood

Evan Allgood

Writer for Daily Shouts, McSweeney’s, The Believer, The Millions, Vulture, and Paste. Read more at https://www.evanallgood.com/

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