Q4 and Fiscal Year (2017) Earnings
Brooklyn, New York — August 8, 2017 —Mom and Dad Sternberg Company, Inc. announces today Q4 and Fiscal Year earnings for 2017. In short: it was a great year.
Record growth continues with the company’s core product: Toddler.
“Our team has been really busy this year,” said CEO Mom Sternberg. “And we have been thrilled with the forward and positive progress Toddler has made. We are excited for the next quarter, as Product Two — name TBD — goes live.”
Q4 Toddler results: Language is now fully verbal. Including appropriate outbursts of “oh my gosh.”
Social skills have also improved since the Fourth Quarter of last year. She is a very good sharer, offering friends a toy or food. (Except when it comes to anything FROZEN-related; then she refuses to share.)
Listening skills still have some improvement, but company executives attribute that to the Terrible Threes. The company’s senior leadership recognizes that the Terrible Twos are just a Madison Avenue construct and the devil is actually 3-years-old.
Toddler is her own person now. She demands “Sit down, Daddy” and is demanding. Company employees wouldn’t have it any other way.
“I am amazed at how fast Toddler has grown up,” said VP of Pizza-making, Dad. “She is such a sweet and lovable and inquisitive toddler, and she makes getting out of bed worthwhile.”
Product Two: Product Two, which is slated to hit shelves on October 18, is developing nicely. Mom is overseeing the development and incubation of Product Two, while Dad offers feeble, if not futile support.
Guidance: The following forward-looking statements reflect Mom and Dad Company, Inc.’s expectations as of August 8, 2017, and are subject to substantial uncertainty. Our results are inherently unpredictable and may be materially affected by many factors, such as fluctuations in schedule, changes in developmental leaps, the rate of growth of physical and psychological factors.
We expect Q1 to be a series of change for the company. Mom and Dad Company, Inc. is looking to relocate headquarters from Brooklyn to New Jersey — though that may not happen until Q2 or Q3. Dad is looking to find a new side-hustle, one that trades monetary compensation for his expertise. And, of course, the introduction of Mom and Dad Company, Inc.’s second product.
Conference call is slated for this Friday to answer investor and analyst questions.
Previous earnings reports:
Fiscal 2017:
Q3
