The Devil’s in the Details
Life is full of choices. However, making decisions can be very tough at times. Especially when we are presented with multiple neutral or even good options, it can be hard to know which way to go. If we struggle with perfectionism, a sort of prideful scrupulosity can set in, driving us to perseverate on making the absolute best decisions throughout our lives. However, these tendencies only blind us to the realities that, on our own, we are incapable of perfection and that, in the end, there is no “perfect” option. Rather, what can lead us to wholeness and peace is if our lives are continually oriented toward the One who is perfect; for, only He can properly work out the details of our lives.
Important occasions of deliberation often come at transitional periods in life, though we are also presented with countless smaller, daily decisions. After we complete primary and secondary school, we must decide between the options of further education and/or a career path. In our occupations, there may be various chances to choose between employers, teams, projects, and promotions. Too, in discovering our vocations, we go through unique journeys of discernment. We are also confronted with frequent choices about where to live, what to eat, what to do with our free time, where to spend our money, and with whom to associate. In moments when we come to more significant thresholds of decision making (be it a true, hard-and-fast deadline or a more general sense that we should be farther along in our lives than we presently are), it can be overwhelming to know how to proceed. However, we ought to rest assured that no matter what we choose — if we stay oriented toward God — He will continue to direct us on the right path and He will use whatever we do choose for an even greater good.
Nonetheless, a state of perfectionism about decision making can actually be a temptation toward pride. As mentioned in Love Calls Us to the Wounds of This World and Trust Falling Into God’s Grace, the devil can use anxiety to draw us away from God. Not only does unnecessary worry predispose us toward a pessimistic mentality (even to the extreme of doubting God’s providence and goodness), but it also inflates our egos to the extent that we may think that we can achieve perfection all by ourselves. Through past life experiences, we may have been led to believe that we have to look after ourselves and that we have to take full responsibility for our actions. However, being finite and fallible creatures existing in a world with other similar human beings, meeting those expectations is nearly impossible. We are constantly impacted by others and we are not strong enough to do this thing called life on our own. As such, primarily out of humility — but also so that we do not exhaust ourselves — we ought not be deceived that we can, nor that we will, always make the right decisions on our own.
Additionally, we can become scrupulous in our pursuit of perfection. Personally, the Bible verse, “be perfect, therefore, as your Heavenly Father is perfect,” has always been frustrating to me (Matthew 5:48). I have thought: How does God expect us to be perfect? Does not He, better than anyone else, know that we are weak and imperfect? Why does He hold us to such high standards that we can never achieve? Possibly, this perspective is founded in a disordered style of attachment toward God (as described in At War with God). Nonetheless, these doubts have both disregarded the etymology of the word translated as “perfect” and the fact that Jesus is not commanding us to attain it by our own volition.
Rather, as opposed to striving to be “perfect,” we ought to properly orient ourselves toward the One who is perfect; for, only then can we find our purpose in life. Interestingly, the Greek word used in Matthew 5:48 is τέλειοι, which can mean “having reached its end, complete, perfect.” It not only describes a sense of perfection, but also a completeness or wholeness. This Greek word is from where we derive the English telos, which means “the end, limit, goal, fulfillment, completion.” This word is, in turn, from the Proto-Indo-European root kwel-, indicating to “revolve, move around, sojourn, dwell.” Its definition is reminiscent of a section of T.S. Eliot’s poem “Ash Wednesday,” in which he writes, “And the light shone in darkness and / Against the Word the unstilled world still whirled / About the centre of the silent Word.” Alluding to John 1, Eliot highlights this sense of revolving around the Word, through whom all things came to be, that which was life — the light of the human race. When we strive to revolve more around this silent Word — instead of our own anxious minds — we can come to see that He is not completely silent, but rather that He speaks through the still, small voice in our hearts. It is this Word which teaches us how to choose to follow God on our journeys to ultimately worship His eternal perfection in heaven (as highlighted in The Heart of Worship).
As such, we ought to continuously redirect our lives toward God, so that He can perfect us throughout the journeys of our lives. As finite and fallible creatures, we are constantly in need of help, both divine and human. God became man to show us just that. By taking on human flesh, Jesus accepted all of our human weaknesses. Yet, through the Incarnation, He reveals to us the nature of the Trinity, which is the perpetual unity of the three persons of God. This is the connection that He models for and offers to us. We have the Word of God and the Sacraments to provide us with all of the necessary graces to support us on our journeys. Further, the Trinity represents for us how we should support one another in the Mystical Body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:12–27). No one is meant to go through life alone. Unfortunately, it does end up happening all too often. However, if we find ourselves alone, we should not believe the lies that tell us that we have to overcome our difficulties on our own or that no one is willing to help us. On the contrary, there are countless means of assistance out there; all that we have to do is to be willing to ask for and to accept them. Additionally, if we see someone around us who is struggling, we ought to readily offer a helping hand (as detailed in One Man’s Lack is Another Man’s Pleasure: A Declaration of Dependence and Our Brother’s Keeper).
Nonetheless, when we come to a crossroads in our lives, others’ advice and assistance may not be totally helpful. In certain circumstances, we may be the most prepared for, aware of, or knowledgeable about our given situation. Additionally, through lived experiences, we may have learned that if we speak honestly about our worries or if we do not try to work them out on our own, others will look down on us and they will not be able to help us in our own particular situations anyways. However, though it may be disheartening, the latter part is true because not everyone has been through the specific situations that we have (be it illness, disability, bereavement, infertility, poverty, violence, abuse, family troubles, work struggles, economic hardship, etc.). As such, even other people’s well-intentioned efforts may not fit our particular cases. Only each of us individually knows our selves, lives, and circumstances best. Unfortunately, this can lead us to feel as if we have to take care of our life choices independently.
Thankfully, there are others who have gone through or are going through similar life journeys as we are. They are the ones from whom we ought to seek the most support. It is okay to rely on them more for help. For, we are weak and imperfect on our own; but, when we invite God and others into our difficulties, then we are strong (2 Corinthians 12:10). Too, when we ask others for help, we are giving them the opportunity to be virtuous. However, this assistance does not necessarily have to be reciprocal, but exponential. We ought not feel like we have to repay each person directly for their generosity; instead, we should pass their charity on to others. Additionally, admitting that we are struggling and asking for help may actually encourage someone else to voice their own similar struggles. In this way, we cannot only find help for ourselves, but also assist others along their journeys.
This process of shared decision making is achieved first through a leap of faith. As described in Trust Falling Into God’s Grace, Hans Urs von Balthasar writes,
“In the daring leap, something of the limitless self-giving of the Divine Persons to each other becomes visible in a flash — at the point where all ground, which is limitation, is relinquished and where man can actually sense that being in the Absolute means — hovering. Lifted up in the arms of grace, carried on the wings of love, he feels a tremor, which, in and of itself, bestows on him precisely the security needed to stand no longer on his own or on the earth but to be able to fly by a new power.”
Similarly, Fr. Walter Czisek, in He Leadeth Me, states,
“For just as surely as man begins to trust in his own abilities, so surely has he taken the first step on the road to ultimate failure. And the greatest grace God can give such a man is to send him a trial he cannot bear with his own powers — and then sustain him with his grace so he may endure to the end and be saved.”
We must primarily rely upon God in our moments of deliberation. Though it may seem unreasonable, actually “letting go and letting God” is the best way for Him to act in our lives. If we strive to do everything on our own — to show Him and others how strong we are — we will eventually end up failing. On the other hand, it is in opening up space in our will for God’s providence that He can be brought into the world through our lives (as described in Pase lo que pase, Immanuel and The Gift of the Cross: A Gift to Fill That Which is Lacking).
However, God will not force us to act; we must choose to do so on our own by taking the next best step. Like St. Paul after his conversion, we must just continue to take one more step on the road down wherever God is calling us. Life is a continual process of choosing and changing. Sometimes, trial and error is the best, or only, approach. For, making mistakes is okay, as they are learning experiences, and there is always the chance for forgiveness, grace, and redirection. Additionally, as with Jonah or the parable of the two sons (Matthew 21:28–32), even if we turn away from God, we still have the chance to seek Him again. By repeatedly committing to begin again, we are able to make our way toward our goal.
This does not negate the realities of our grief regarding the past and anxiety about the future. However, these tendencies ought to be reminders for us to abandon ourselves more to the grace of God, which we can only encounter in the here and now. If He wants something to happen, He will open doors. We simply have to pray for the ability to be aware of them and the courage to walk through them. Too, when things do not go as we expected, we ought to open ourselves to accepting the present moment as His will for us. For, all that we can respond to is the here and now. Therein, instead of worrying if we are doing everything perfectly, we ought to ask ourselves: What is He trying to teach me or ask of me right now? By relying on God and striving to live each moment to the best of our knowledge and abilities, our journeys will ultimately be guided to where they need to go.
The good thing is that we do not have to have all of our plans figured out right now. Over time, the uncertainty obscuring our paths will clear. We must simply do our due diligence, making sure that all others involved are well-informed. After that, we are only responsible for our own decisions and actions. When we do have concerns, the sooner that we speak them the better it is because they are not allowed to fester longer and are able to be addressed more quickly. In the end, as the saying goes: the best cure for anxiety is action. However, though each of us is the only one who can make decisions for ourselves, we can still allow God to enter into them and trust in Him to guide us along the right path (as mentioned in Omnia Cooperantur in Bonum: On Faith, Hope, and Trust).
God directs us on our paths by yoking us with individual gifts and desires. As Fr. Mitch Pacwa writes in How to Listen When God is Speaking:
“A yoke is a wooden bar, with another piece of wood that curves under the ox’s neck and comes up through the bar, with a pin or straps to hold the neck piece in place. The yoke is connected to a plow, wagon, or other instrument that is to be pulled by a pair of oxen, usually side by side. Yokes are not carved so that one size fits all oxen; they need to be handcrafted by a carpenter so that the bar and lower piece fit the particular ox pulling it. Carpenters design the yokes to fit each particular ox to prevent chafing on its chest and shoulder.”
Still, it can be uncomfortable when our particular passions are not fulfilled or when our efforts to employ our talents are frustrated. Sometimes, pursuing a certain path may rub us the wrong way. In those cases, we may disregard our gifts and desires or look to sinful substitutes to replace them. Until we find the proper place for them, they may seem burdensome or pointless. However, once they do reach their purpose, it is like putting the right key into a lock — they fit perfectly and unlock new opportunities. Similarly, God allows us to live through certain sufferings. In the moment, they may seem burdensome or pointless. Yet, once we discover meaning in them, it is like putting together the right lock and key as well. As such, instead of being viewed as negative, the discomforts that we experience along our journeys can be understood as indications that we may be relying too much on ourselves and reminders that we need to depend more on those who are similarly yoked beside us.
Three integral tools along our journeys are prayer, time, and conscience. Fundamentally, prayer is the means by which we remain connected to the vine; without a well-nourished relationship with God, our connection to the vine quickly withers away (John 15). We cannot understand what He is saying to us without spending time in conversation with Him and contemplating His words. Too, we cannot hear God’s voice when our lives are congested with busyness and distractions. Additionally, time often either leads to further clarity or resolution within a given decision. Sometimes, all it takes is for the dust to settle for us to be able to better understand where we ought to go or why our paths have taken certain deviations (as mentioned in Only Time Will Tell: Time as the Best Medicine). Similarly, throughout our lives, there are signs of God’s love for us everywhere; however, if we are too distracted by worldly pursuits or too set on our own plans, we can easily miss them. Through both prayer and time, we will be able to better perceive the voice of our conscience, which is the indwelling of the Holy Spirits in our hearts. When we are able to be aware of and positively respond to the voice God into our life situations, He will sanctify them, make them holy, and set them apart (as highlighted in Love Calls Us to the Wounds of the World).
Nonetheless, God does not give us the answers at all once. That is because if He did, we could take it and leave Him — like when in the Garden of Eden, with the knowledge of good and evil, Adam and Eve took it and were separated from God. Rather, God wants us to walk with Him, and He with us, every moment of every day. As such, we need to rely on Him completely. When God does not answer our prayers as soon as or in the way that we expect, we should not turn away from Him, but rather move closer toward Him, so that we can discern His will more clearly. Too, God may whisper or withdrawal so that we must draw nearer to Him to be able to hear Him. As John 3:8 says, “The wind blows where it wills, and you can hear the sound it makes, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes; so it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.” Life is this continual process of journeying further toward God and discovering Him in all the choices of our lives.
Certainly, the meaning of life is rooted in our destination. However, our focus on the fixed goal of heaven should not make us lose sight of the fact that the journey is also significant. Nonetheless, unlike how our end is singular, our paths are as varied as the complexity of the personalities, interactions, and decisions that make up the human condition. Situations arise and choices are pursued. Others’ actions affect our lives and vis versa. As such, we ought not beat ourselves up with regret about missing an opportunity or an inclination in the past, nor ought we be overly preoccupied with future possibilities and pursuits. Yes, things could have been different if we had made better choices at certain points; but, they also could have been worse had things gone another way. Our callings may change based on our choices and circumstances. If we start down one path, others will necessarily become impossible (as mentioned in The Fog of Life). However, that does not mean that God’s initial plan for us was wrong or that He does not still have a mission for us. It simply takes into account the reality of our freedom to choose how to respond to God’s call. Nonetheless, no matter what choices we make, good or bad, God continues to invite us closer to Him, as only He can make good out of who we are.
The idiom “the devil’s in the details” is meant to admonish that there may be hidden surprises lurking in the particulars of a given situation. However, at times, I believe that the devil can also be in the details when we are tempted to be overwhelmed by confronting the decisions of our lives, believing that we have to make them all on our own. Contrarily, when we are free from anxiety about our life choices, we are able to be ourselves — which is dangerous for the devil. This is because truly being free means being submissive to God’s will, which ultimately leads us to our telos. However, this is exactly what the devil is trying to keep us from doing. So, as we strive to do so, he will tempt us with anxieties, pride, and scrupulosity to keep us from getting there. Nonetheless, by trusting in God’s providence — knowing that He calls us, yet He works with our decisions and actions — we can rest assured that if we do our best and give God the rest, He will work out the details of our lives.
