Love Calls Us to the Wounds of This World
“Outside the open window / The morning air is all awash with angels. / Some are in bed-sheets, some are in blouses, / Some are in smocks: but truly there they are . . . Yet, as the sun acknowledges / With a warm look the world’s hunks and colors, / The soul descends once more in bitter love / To accept the waking body”
— “Love Calls Us to the Things of This World,” Richard Wilbur
In an interview of the poet Richard Wilbur, he notes that the title of the above poem is a reference to St. Augustine’s Confessions where, in chapter X, the saint famously says: “The beautiful things of this world kept me far from you and yet, if they had not been in you, they would have no being at all.” In Augustine’s reflections, we see a lament regarding the prolonged searching that he endured to find God, who — as Augustine comes to find — was inside of him all along. Yet, he reveals the paradox that though, at times, the things of the world can lead us astray, they would not have existed if they did not come from God. Wilbur adds a whimsical twist of imagery to this idea, conveying that it is in the ordinary things of the world that we are called to live and to love. Although not with the explicit, theological depth of St. Augustine, but rather in a more relatable way, Wilbur reveals the “difficult balance” which is the living out our spiritual nature in a physical world. Additionally, though somewhat of an extrapolation from Wilbur, these verses, along with a few other books that I have recently read and conversations that I have recently had, have made me reflect on the fact that each of our individual salvations is tied up with our wounds and those of others around us. So, if we want to live well in this life, with the aim to enter heaven in the next, it is precisely through healing these wounds that we are called to love.
Our wounds can stem from our fallen human state, others, and our own selves. After the Fall, we all live with concupiscence, or the human tendency towards sin. We also live in a broken world, which is prone to imperfections. These faults can ultimately only be healed by God and by continually returning to Him to seek forgiveness when we fall and for sustenance when we pass through uncontrollable, earthly misfortunes. Others can also intentionally or unintentionally wound us. The environments in which we are raised, our friendships and relationships growing up, and our interactions with colleagues and even strangers can influence how we see ourselves. As we need forgiveness from God, so we ought to seek reconciliation with others. Of course, this takes the reciprocal buy in of everyone involved. Additionally, we can learn to ground our sense of self in those who know us and loves us best (as discussed in “Heaven is other people”). Lastly, we can wound ourselves through our own harmful habits. It takes God’s grace and repeatedly striving for virtue for these wounds to be healed. Too, by being aware of our disordered tendencies, we can better compensate for our weaknesses and slowly start to work towards healing (as detailed in “You Are Who You Are: Fostering Authenticity and Wholeheartedness”).
Essentially, we are finite creatures; so, we cannot be called to anywhere else except to the present world around us. Initially, God made the world as an extension of His creative love. However, after the Fall, this design was disrupted, such that all of creation needs the Creator’s help to be restored. Nonetheless, living in the chronological reality of human existence, our lives are characterized by being called to respond to the people, events, thoughts, and feelings that are presented to us each and every day. Sometimes, we may also be tempted to confront our wounded pasts or uncertain futures. However, though these preoccupations can influence our present moment, they do not truly exist there. Rather, the circumstances in which we find our selves are our primary responsibility. So, we ought to work to detach ourselves from perseverating on our past or fearing our future. By turning to God in the present moment, we can allow Him to enter into our wounds and to heal our world (as highlighted in “Finding a Chairos Mentality in a Chronos Reality” and “The Gift of the Cross: A Gift to Fill That Which is Lacking” ).
Part of this process is the acknowledgment that God answers our prayers for an increase in grace and virtue by giving us opportunities to use and practice them in real life. It is easy to hope that God would grant our supplications for a deepening of virtues by simply giving them to us, so that we would be able to use them the next time that we encounter a situation in which they are needed. However, central to virtue is the fact that it must be practiced; virtues are habits that are formed in the repetition of choosing the most prudent action in a given scenario. Therefore, when we pray for an increase in certain virtues, God gives us the chance to choose to form these good qualities. Over time, we can create natural inclinations toward instinctively performing these actions. Nonetheless, God also gives us the daily, supernatural grace to do so, when we turn to Him and the Sacraments and rely on Him more than we do on ourselves. He is extremely generous, we only need to be humble and open to receiving His help.
Still, often, we do not ask God for big enough gifts. This may be because either we do not believe that we are worthy of them or we do not believe that God is capable or willing to give them to us. Similarly, C.S. Lewis writes that, “it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak.” Sometimes, we may doubt that God can make good out of our despicable situations, we fear what He will transform them into, or we do not want to let go of our present predicaments because, though difficult, at least they are familiar. However, as Pope St. John Paul II reminds us, “the steeper the road, the faster it rises towards ever wider horizons.” It is precisely through opening ourselves up to God’s goodness that He is able to work wonders out of our broken lives.
Yet, God presents us with countless opportunities to trust Him and to grow in goodness through our daily lives, even when we may not be actively looking for them. Countless saints, including St. Thérèse of Lisieux, St. Mother Teresa, and St. Josemaría Escrivá discuss that it is in the small, ordinary aspects of daily life that we can discover and pursue God’s calling. In doing so, we are able to trust Him in bigger ways, when the time comes. Sometimes, but not often, He may call us to great mission work or martyrdom. However, what He does offer all of us is the opportunity to trust Him in the little ways that He is calling us to love our neighbor as ourselves — in our homes, workplaces, churches, friendships, and even with strangers. Everyday, He gives us opportunities to choose to give of ourselves for the good of others; all that we have to do is to open our eyes and our heart to be aware of His call.
At times, I have felt what I call a “twinge of the heart,” which I believe to be an awareness of our conscience directing us how to act in a given moment. We may sense it when we hear a voice telling us how we should act (e.g. the quintessential angel and demon on the shoulders). When well-formed, our conscience is the seat from which the ability to com- “with” + scindere “to cut, divide” is derived. Our well-formed conscience can help guide us in discerning between right and wrong in each particular circumstance. It is the Holy Spirit which we ought to allow to occupy the sanctuary of our conscience, as a guide along our journeys in the world. For, it is He who enters into our wounds and provides us with the healing inspiration of how we are to then go out into the world.
By seeing Christ in others, we can encourage them to exemplify His image and likeness in themselves as well. Often, we can believe the lies that tell us that we are not worthy to be called sons and daughters of God. Or, if we are not reminded of this fundamental reality enough, over time, we can forget it. However, if we try to be positive reinforcements for others in the world, we can help to change the tides and show others that they are worthy of and responsible for this calling. When we support the human dignity in each and every person, including the less fortunate and even our enemies, we can love the wounds of the world and encourage others to do so too. Similarly, for ourselves, we ought to remember that our self-image comes from those who know us and love us best, not those who judge us from the outside or who make passing comments without truly understanding us (as described in “Heaven is other people”). When we all strive to live out our divine affiliation, we can allow our wounds to be healed and to show others that they can be restored too.
That is how love calls us to the wounds of the world. For, “to love” means to sacrifice for the good of another; and, “to sacrifice” comes from sacrum “holy” + facere, meaning “to make holy;” lastly, “holy” distinguishes something which is “set apart.” Thus, we can set apart our actions from what we would normally be inclined to do, making them holy because we are choosing to sacrifice our desires, intentions, words, actions, possess, etc. for the good of another. When we choose to love our neighbor we can more easily see how God is present in the world and working in our lives. Over time, this awareness can help to heal our wounds and those of others.
Essentially, it is precisely into our wounds that God wants to enter and heal us. For me, at times, the miracles of the Gospel can seem so distant, unattainable, or impractical. However, God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Just as He healed the sick and forgave sins in His time, so does He want to do the same for us now. For, He says, “‘Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do. Go and learn the meaning of the words, ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ I did not come to call the righteous but sinners’” (Matthew 9:12–13). He wants to restore us with His love and mercy. However, the more that we withdrawal from Him in doubt or shame, the harder it is for Him to work in our lives because He can only do so when we allow Him to. Contrarily, when we permit Him to enter into our wounds, we can then begin to reform secure attachments to God and to others (as discussed in “At War with God”). Further, by allowing God to come into the world through our own wounds, we can invite Him to be present in our circumstances, relationships, and journeys, which can then influence and help to heal the rest of the world (as described in “Pase lo que pase, Immanu’el”).
It is only by letting go of, stopping to try to fix, and being honest about our wounds and our need for healing that we can begin to be restored. God respects our free will so much that, most of the time, He will not initiate the healing process until we openly accept His help. Frequently, we can believe that we have to heal all on our own, without the help of others, and even without God’s help. This largely comes from disordered attachment styles that we have formed throughly life, which have taught us that aid is either absent or unpredictable. However, it is first through acknowledging the fact that everyone needs help in their own unique ways that we can begin to open ourselves up to others and to God. Therein, we can strive to be more aware of God’s presence and receive His assistance through others in the Body of Christ (as noted in “One Man’s Lack is Another Man’s Pleasure: A Declaration of Dependence”).
Actually, it is actually our wounds which are the most powerful places for conversion. In C.S. Lewis’s Screwtape Letters, he writes that, “to get permanent possession of a soul, [God] relies on the troughs even more than on the peaks.” For, “it is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that [we are] growing into the sort of creature [God] wants [us] to be.” However, this means that the devil may tempt us the most in these periods because they are so important in leading us closer to becoming who we are meant to be. Nonetheless, with this awareness, we can take courage in the fact that “the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please [God] best.” Too, the devil is most threatened by when we “[look] round upon a universe from which every trace of [God] seems to have vanished, and [ask] why [we have] been forsaken, and still [obey].” Therefore, we ought to lean into these valleys, knowing that if endured with faith and obedience, we will be led out to the other side and we will be that much closer to becoming who we are meant to be.
Nonetheless, we do not have to accomplish this all within the first few minutes or hours of the day. Our success-driven society can lead us to hyper-focus on accomplishing everything as fast as possible. However, often, doing so sacrifices the quality of the outcome and it causes us to miss many opportunities to join in the journey with others along the way. For, in whatever we do, we are made to do it with one another. There is only the here and now. We ought to find peace in the fact that we do not have to accomplish everything right away or on our own. The process of healing necessarily takes time (as highlighted in “Only Time Will Tell: Time as the Best Medicine”). As such, when we slow down, we are able to more easily see the meaning in both the good and the bad periods of life, and we are able to share in them with others. By going through life with this mutual dependence one one another, we can help bring love into the wounds of the world (as noted in “Our Brother’s Keeper”).
Likewise, we do not have to figure out all of our lives right now. Growing up, we can have the impression that to achieve all of our vocational, occupational, and personal desires, we must follow a single, straight path. However, the farther along that we go in life, the more we come to realize that our paths are often wavering and cyclical. As detailed in “The Fog of Life,” when we open one door, we necessarily close many others. Frequently, we may come to dead ins or forks in the road and have to recalculate. However, the reality is that life is a continual process of becoming. The longer that we run from our wounds or think that we can deal with our weakness and sins on our own, the longer we will keep ourselves from discovering who we are truly meant to be. Rather, it is only by going through gradual healing in the present moment that we can come to discover our true selves and to help others do the same.
Additionally, it is not by the world’s standards that we will succeed in this endeavor. Often, it can be difficult to work outside of the systems already formed before us (e.g. in family dynamics, occupational structures, or social hierarchies). Too, trying to improve systems by using the previously established tools and perspectives can be challenging and frustrating. Frequently, people are resistant to changing their habituated ways. However, it is not by trying harder by the world’s standards that we can find healing. For it is only God’s ways that will redeem the world. However, first by being healed by God, and then by bringing His ways into the world, we can achieve this transformation.
Thankfully, there are many helpful tools in this pursuit. Of course, connection with and dependence upon God through prayer an the Sacraments is essential (as highlighted in Kyle Idleman’s When Your Way Isn’t Working). For, He is the vine and we are the branches. Without receiving nutrients from Him, we will wither and die. Additionally, as I have written before — gratitude, mindfulness, childlikeness, encounter, service, creativity, and worship are all helpful tools in this process of allowing our and others’ wounds to be healed.
Unfortunately, wounds are a part of the human condition. They may come from our fallen human nature, our interactions with others, or our own thoughts and deeds. Nonetheless, as finite creatures, we are called to respond to them in the present moment. Our prayers too are answered in the present moment, according to God’s plan. For, when we ask for them, He always gives us opportunities to grow closer to Him. In doing so, we can encourage others to do the same. Nonetheless, it is precisely through our wounds that God pursues and wants to heal us. By letting go of the little control that we have over our weaknesses, we can start to be healed because it is actually our wounds that are the greatest places for conversion. Fortunately, we do not need to rush this process or have it all figured out from the start. Ultimately, it is not the world’s ways, but only God’s ways, that will transform us and the world. Thankfully, there are many helpful tools to guide us along the way.
To conclude, the main character in Hannah Hurnard’s religious allegory, Hinds’ Feet in High Places, puts it clearly:
“Therefore I begin to think, my Lord, you purposely allow us to be brought into contact with the bad and evil things that you want changed. Perhaps that is the very reason why we are here in this world, where sin and sorrow and suffering and evil abound, so that we may let you teach us so to react to them, that out of them we can create lovely qualities to live forever. That is the only really satisfactory way of dealing with evil, not simply binding it so that it cannot work harm, but whenever possible overcoming it with good.”
